Secret Level: Season One | The Back Room

[00:00:20] Hello Party People, Hello Secret People, It's your boy Dre and I am here with Steve. Who are the secret people, Andre? The people who listen to the show. I mean, we can't see them, right? So they're secret to us. I mean, we know some of them, but not all of them. Don't we get an itemized list of the demographics of where they are and something?

[00:00:44] Yeah, we get some locations of like, you know, but not really, you know. Where they live and their addresses and their fears and their mother's maiden names and... Mm-hmm. All that stuff. Social security numbers, if applicable. Absolutely. I mean, what's so secret about that? Anyway. Yeah. I mean, come on. Anyway, let's talk about what we're here to talk about, which is secret level.

[00:01:14] If you don't know what secret level is, it's an animated short anthology series on Amazon Prime. It came out, I want to say in what, December last year? Something like that. And it was announced, was it announced at Summer Games Fest or something? We saw it somewhere where it was like, that looks not great. They showed like a bunch of clips from episodes and we're like, eh, I don't know about all that.

[00:01:45] We're still not sure about all that. We're still not sure about all that. I mean, yeah, yeah. You're looking at the calendar when you downloaded the episode. We're still not entirely sure about all that, Andre. No, we aren't. But we figured, I don't know, it'd be funny enough to watch. And, you know, some of them are pretty faithful to the source material. Some of them aren't. And that's supposed to be the fun of it, right?

[00:02:13] But we watched all 15 episodes. And as you guys can tell already, most of these were not very good. So what we're going to do is go through all 15 episodes, mini review style. If you've ever heard our Nintendo Switch Online, probably by the time you hear this, Nintendo Classics episodes, you will have heard us do this before with video games. Now we're just going to do this with episodes of this show.

[00:02:42] What were your expectations going in? I mean, we already talked about like we saw it at the Summer Games Fest and we're like, hmm, but how were you optimistic for at least some of these episodes or no? I don't know. Things that Jeff pretends to get excited about, it's hard to, you know, really gauge how much we're really supposed to get excited about them for.

[00:03:06] So I didn't really have any real expectations. In the end, it didn't really help that in putting these off. The big twist in one of them, you know, was kind of ruined over time. So I don't know. I mean, I mean, in my opinion, that honestly makes it better. But I, I did expect these to be mostly mediocre slop with a couple of cool things and some really, really bad things. And Steve, that is exactly what we got.

[00:03:34] I guess. Sort of. Exactly. This would usually be the part of the show where I'm like, hey, guy, we're doing a podcast. You want to say more words? But personally, I think you are doing, you are giving secret level exactly the correct amount of respect that it deserves, which is none. I mean, how much did they give us? Not very much. So we're giving it back in return.

[00:04:03] Okay, let's just start. There's 15 episodes. We're going to start with the first one now. Episode one, Dungeons and Dragons Cradle. Hey, wait a second, Steve. Dungeons and Dragons isn't a video game. It's not, Andre, but I'll give it the benefit of the doubt for once. Many video games owe a lot to Dungeons and Dragons.

[00:04:30] And while I could see why it would be chosen, I would also see that why in such a short, dolly series like this, it would be so easy to run into problems. Oh, there's a couple problems because, well, this one basically felt like an entire movie in 15 minutes and like not in a great way. There was just a lot of weird, unnecessary character exposition that I didn't need.

[00:04:58] Like that lady was telling that kid everything about her entire life for no reason. It's like, lady, I'm just going to know you for the next like nine minutes. I don't really like, I don't need this. It's something that I suspect would be coming up a lot in a series like this one. We're going to just smush in as much exposition as we can in a limited timeframe. I mean, it's a tough balance to strike, but again, Dungeons and Dragons. How long has it existed?

[00:05:27] How much lore have we crammed in here into that time? And you're going to give us 15 minutes to bring us up to speed on whatever story you're trying to tell here. Yikes. Yeah, it just wasn't necessary. It just felt like they were wasting time from the fight scenes, which is easily the best thing about it. I actually, you know, give it credit. I thought the animation here was pretty fucking gorgeous. I'm not going to lie. I thought the fight scenes were really cool, really great looking like fire effects and like just fun stabby stabby.

[00:05:57] I thought that stuff was good. I like the magic effects and the stabby stabby, but I could not look at the humanoid characters under like at all. Like I could not make eye contact. A long time ago in a previous creative endeavor, we talked about Uncanny Valley and Final Fantasy, the spirits within. I didn't get that precisely here, but I don't know. Something here didn't sit right with me 100%. Like it was fine in the dark.

[00:06:28] But once you literally shine light on it, like the opening is literally in the dark. Like he's what's his name is literally in the dark in a box cage thing. And we don't see him that well. Like the second we see light on him, it's like, oh no, what's wrong with this guy? Yeah, I mean, I didn't. Okay, I don't. I didn't feel quite that strong. And, you know, I'm much more susceptible to Uncanny Valley revulsion than you, as it turns out.

[00:06:58] However, yeah, I don't know. I thought the characters here did look cool, including aforementioned exposition lady. Like I actually did. I thought they had good looking faces and stuff like that. Maybe not as much as like some later ones, but definitely. I don't know. I thought it was good. I like the dragon. At least they did deliver on the title. There was a dungeon and there was a dragon. We met the quota. Yay.

[00:07:26] There was a dungeon and there was a dragon, but they did not fight the dragon. The fucking short ends right when they get to the dragon and then they roll credits. What a fucking cop out. Like, come on. That was some bullshit. Like, Jesus Christ. So that's why I'm going to give this one a C minus. You didn't even get to fight the fucking dragon. God damn it. I'm going to be a bit less generous D. A D?

[00:07:52] For dungeon and dragon that we didn't get to kill. So a double D. Dungeon and dragon. All right. Let's go to the next episode. Episode two is called Sifu. It takes a life. Based off the PlayStation five title. I think it's on other things too, but why would you play it on switch? Anyway. Oh Lord. It's on switch. Oh my God. I found that out the other week. Anyway.

[00:08:23] I, I, you know, me, I like a good martial arts outing. Cheesy. The punk on Kung Fu movies. And, you know, that's the vibe that's going for here. It's definitely that for sure. And thankfully it gets to that point a lot faster than Dungeons and Dragons did, which is important because, you know, these things are short. Andre. They are short. And yeah, this Sifu is a much better way to do exposition in a short. He sees the thugs tattoo.

[00:08:50] He has a short, sketchy little flashback to his father being killed by guys with that tattoo. And then action ensues. Perfect. That's the way you should do these things. Yeah. Like I insinuated before, I'm, I've been meaning to play the game for a while and you know what? Like fine. I'll finally play this game. It was included with Royale with cheese or it was given to us a while ago. I finally had the Butler installed and I finally played it. And you know what? It's pretty spot on with how the game is. Yeah.

[00:09:20] They use the death equals aging hook as a storytelling device that. And this also sets it apart from other games that they could have chosen, you know, because they're newer. It's a newer game as opposed to, you know, the Kung Fu. Like, could you imagine them trying that here? Oh, like IRM, like Kung Fu Master, like that game. Yeah. Like that game. Like, I know that's, that's a dumb choice, but believe me, we're going to see some very dumb choices as we go further along our list today. The TurboGrafx-16 game, China Warrior. You know, that one.

[00:09:52] Um, I, okay. If I didn't know anything about the game, Sifu, I'm not sure I would have understood what was happening with the, with him aging. If I didn't know already, like, cause he dies and then he gets older every time he dies. So like, I, I'm not sure that was very clear in the short, but I, again, I'm biased cause I know what the, I know the hook of the game already, but imagine you didn't, I don't know that you would get it.

[00:10:20] I mean, I don't think you 100% need to because like, well, maybe it's clearer to me because again, it's the Kung Fu movie thing, right? Revenge is bad. He, he dies too many times. And before he gets to the end, again, we don't see the final confrontation, but you don't really need to, because I don't know if you played this game yet. The club you're fighting, he's fighting in. This is only the second level of the game and he's already an old man. Okay.

[00:10:50] It doesn't matter that we don't see the confrontation. He fine. He beat him, but there's no fucking way he's making it through the rest of this. Right. The final confrontation of this short is when he's going back to the noodle stand and, you know, confronting that maybe I fucked this up a little too much. Right. Yeah, I get it. I'm not going to be as hardened on this as I was a Dungeons and Dragons copping out from the dragon fight. Sure. But yeah, I like the glass bridge part. That's always a good scene for great action.

[00:11:20] Oh yeah, of course. It's they hit the right notes. You know, I was going to give this a C. It's what I wrote down in the notes. It's I'm going to up it. I'm going to give it a C plus. This is slightly better than average. Unfortunately, the short does miss the mark in one somewhat important way for me. And that's the focal options in the game. Sifu, you can play in English or in Chinese. There's two dialects, Mandarin or Cantonese. Okay.

[00:11:49] And, you know, that just, again, you get, you can still have English subtitles, obviously, but, you know, it's supposed to really bring home that whole Kung Fu movie atmosphere here. In the short of all the language options that the Amazon prime is giving you, none of them are in Chinese. Really? That's interesting. I scroll through the whole thing to see if I could watch it again in Chinese. Not a one. So what? Are you telling me they have like French and shit or Spanish or whatever? I could have watched it in Hindi.

[00:12:18] I could not watch it in Chinese. Hindi would have been interesting, actually. I should go back and try that. Yeah, I might too. But I couldn't watch it in Chinese. But I'm still going to give this a B. A B. Okay. Yeah. I'll stick with my C plus. That was, I'm upping it a little bit. You convinced me, even though you weren't trying to, you did convince me. Let's go to the next episode. Episode three, New World, The Once and Future King.

[00:12:50] Steve, what the fuck is New World? I have never heard of this. Yeah, there's a good reason for that, Andre. And that's because Amazon published this game. That's right. New World is the Nepo baby of this series. In fact, Arnold Schwarzenegger plays King Alstrom in this short. And I got to tell you, I've always wanted to do an Arnold Schwarzenegger joint on this show, but not like this. Yeah. I mean, I thought we'd be, I don't know.

[00:13:19] I'd love to take a tour through the 80s and do like Commando and Predator and like all the shits, Conan or something. Like that would be, that would be fun. But yeah, I didn't think Arnold Schwarzenegger would finally make it onto one of our, well, this isn't a movie, but one of our we watch stuff shows in this manner. And Steve, this one was truly awful. This was absolutely terrible. Was this supposed to be funny?

[00:13:47] I think they were attempting, but basically the story is an asshole colonizing King gets marooned on an island and then hijinks ensue because he thinks everyone has his royal subjects. Like, I guess it was trying to be royal comedy hour, but I don't know. The nine minutes of short was sure as hell felt like an entire hour. I really don't have anything else to say about this. I'm going to give this an F. Yeah.

[00:14:17] Unlike Sifu, which I was interested in playing. I never heard of this until pretending to research it. And I'm not going to play this one either to find out what it's like. F. We're both agreeing. We're both giving it an F. I'm not going to be convinced. Otherwise, I'm not going to fight you on this. Okay. All right. Fuck this. Fuck this episode. Let's move on to the next one. Episode four is Unreal Tournament. Xan. Yeah.

[00:14:47] You know that game all the douchebags in college played on the computers over and over again. That got an episode. About the bots. About the bots. About the bots. Literal bots of the game. And fuck it. I'll bring this up right out front. They got sentient or at least fairly autonomous mining robots. Digging up whatever on planets.

[00:15:12] And they still need human supervisors on the ground with them, physically present with them at work. No wonder everyone's ready to rebel. Yeah. I mean, it's just it's it's ridiculous. The future is going to be great, huh? Glad we'll be dead. It doesn't feel like today at all. Right, Andre? No, not at all. Not a no. No parallels to today. Oh, wait, we're still alive. Damn. Fuck.

[00:15:43] I have not played Unreal Tournament since God knows when. Because like you said, douchebags. I call. Wait, you're younger than me. Are you telling me people at college still played Unreal Tournament in your time? It was 2005 or so. Yeah, I guess so. I guess there was Unreal Tournament 2004. That was that was like a popular one. Yeah. I have not played Unreal Tournament since I don't even remember when. So I have no idea how much creative license this is taking.

[00:16:10] But it's like we said, the first half of the episode is showing the origins of a robot uprising who eventually fight the humans in the arena and almost at the titular arena in the titular tournament. I should say. Was this entire thing really supposed to be a canonical reason why bots, a.k.a. like the computer playing against the computer exists in games like this?

[00:16:38] Like, but but in the lore, they're disgruntled robots like in the short, but like in the game. Is that what they're supposed to be? Like actual like disgruntled robots that were mistreated? If it was good job, guys, because. No, really, because I don't know what else you would have made this episode about. I mean, that's about that's about all you can make it about. And I'm making the sound really stupid. But honestly, Steve, I like this episode.

[00:17:08] This is good. No, I had a good time, too. It's it's having fun with the material. Like the arena looks super cool. Like it's animated really well. I love the crowd shots and everything. And like, I love the announcer, too, from the first blood double kill. That shit was funny. Triple kill. Like it was it was fun. It was all those goofy video game touches. They even had a thing where it's like, OK, remember the main guy or whatever is like has a sniper rifle.

[00:17:36] And then the girl comes over the comm. She's like, Captain, we don't have time for camping. That's funny. Right. Like, I know it's like such an obvious, like stupid video game joke. But honestly, I think in the context of this short and the context of Unreal Tournament, that's funny. Like if it were an Overwatch short, that would be stupid. Like, but in this, it's good. It works. Everyone was having a good time with this, which is why I was disappointed with one thing. OK.

[00:18:05] I after they started doing the tournament arc, I say arc like this was a whole thing. It was about 15 minutes. If that is you, you hawk show. I waited that whole time for literally anyone in any context to look at the camera and say, this is the Unreal Tournament. If any of these shorts were going to do that, this was the one.

[00:18:34] And they didn't. I would have been the best. I would have loved it. But the lady, the main like. The main lady, the robot and any of them could have like. The robot. And any of them could have done it in any context. I don't care what, but someone needed to do it and they didn't do it. Well, man, I'm going to give this a B. This is this was this was good.

[00:19:03] I'm giving it a very high C plus. It's a very complimentary C plus. C plus. Can I talk you up to a B minus? No, I never get to. Fine. Let's move on to the next episode. Episode five. Warhammer 40,000. And they shall know no fear.

[00:19:35] Ah, boy. The last time I thought about Warhammer or rather the only time we talked about Warhammer on the show was when that what is it called Space Marine 2 that's out now that appeared at a summer games fest. And then you told me your only experience with Warhammer was guys doing figures at the shop where you could credibly ask them where they were on January 6th. So that's that's about the extent of Warhammer history on fine time.

[00:20:00] See, that's a great segue to this, because my problem with this short really stems from not knowing what Warhammer is. Because, you know, like you just said, that's all I really know about Warhammer weirdos at the card shop sitting in the back painting them figurines because they were just too American for Gundam. Yep.

[00:20:25] But I mean, this could also have something to do with the D&D problem of it also not being strictly a video game. I mean, there has been like 14000 different like Warhammer games at this point. So, like, I feel like it's as much a video game franchise as anything. I don't know. I'm just not familiar enough with other Warhammer elements.

[00:20:49] Like, there's this one part early on where the guy's wiping off his helmet because guts were spilled on it. Is that because he spent too much time painting the helmet before the mission? I mean, I don't get it. Oh, he's like polishing the guts off of his helmet or something? He's like wiping the helmet. Like, they make a point of zooming in on the helmet. Like, is that because he doesn't want to? He just painted that like to spec? Yeah. Yeah. I love that.

[00:21:19] I asked you a question about the short as if I didn't see it and you're telling me about it. But like, I think that should be an indication of how little I retained from this fairly boring short. Like, OK, I really like the character designs. I'll say that they look like they could be actual main characters of the game. Maybe they are. I don't know if this is based off of one of the games or not, or if they just made them up.

[00:21:41] But as for what's happening, buff armor men in space land on this one dusty Mad Max planet and start shooting and chopping up the tribes there or something. So was it like a are they some sort of asshole, like colonizing planet cleansing company or something? Or like, I don't know. I don't know, Andre. And that's the thing.

[00:22:08] I feel like with a little bit of retooling, this could have been and anything with guys in suits. This could have been Turrican and they shall know no fear or Shik Hydro Bot and they shall know no fear. And hey, it's a video game show, right? We do some asset flipping on occasion. Who would have known? I mean, like, I just I look.

[00:22:36] OK, first of all, I would definitely watch Turrican and they shall know no fear for sure. I would have I would have been into that. At least the music would have been good. I mean, yeah. But I mean, the point is, is that, yeah, everything looks fine, but it also doesn't look distinct. Like, I only know it's Warhammer because it said so at the beginning there. You know, there are very few words spoken in this episode, and maybe that's for the better.

[00:23:03] Like, I feel like seven whole minutes goes by with nobody talking. We got to kill the guys with our Warhammers. With their War. So is that what the Warhammers are the weapons themselves? Like the machine guns? They are Warhammers. I mean, obviously, right? Anyone who actually plays Warhammer is so mad at us right now. That's a risk we're going to have to take, I guess. Yeah. Where were they on January?

[00:23:33] So, yeah. Just kidding. Probably. Probably. Kind of. I thought this one looked good. There were some really cool visuals. I like the really dust stormy planet. You know, like that looked cool. The low visibility. Also, when they go underground and there's that wide shot of them like shooting up the aliens and like fluorescent goo was coming out of the aliens. You know, that was cool. And then they like walk through it and they leave those like fluorescent footsteps.

[00:24:03] That's so like some fun visuals here. I just couldn't give a fuck what was happening. This all would have been a lot cooler if I actually cared, but I didn't. But so it's not a total loss, I guess. That's why I'm going to give it a C minus and not like a D or something because it's because of some cool visuals. But that's about all the good I could say about this one. Yeah, I'm giving it that same C minus. And if you're a Warhammer fan that watched this, did you like this? And where were you that day?

[00:24:33] Or none of my business. Maybe we should stop asking questions. Let's just move on to the next episode. All right. It's the big one, Andre. Episode six, Pac-Man Circle. And as we know, it's not based on Pac-Man as we know.

[00:24:56] It's based on the upcoming action adventure title, Shadow Labyrinth, which may or may not be out by the time we air this. Yep. Shadow Labyrinth. God, that was a weird reveal at the Game Awards. They just put that in the pre-show and it's like, what even the fuck are you guys doing? What is this? Steve, this was so bizarre. I actually liked it. It was so weird and violent and strange. It was cool.

[00:25:26] And look, I know I make this comparison way too much on the show, but I'm going to have to do it one more time. It really does remind me of those MTV animation blocks from the 90s. That weird, futuristic violence and fear that I love so much from those shorts. That's the Shadow Labyrinth or Pac-Man. Sorry. Short.

[00:25:48] I really do think if this would have aired on MTV at that time, this Pac-Man short where you're now a guy in the wilderness and learning to kill and eat to survive. And the ghosts and the maze are metaphorical things instead of literal things. It's a very 90s kind of concept. So I can just see it fitting in that block. Besides that, though, I just really like this. It was I don't know. I thought it was cool. I had a great time, too.

[00:26:17] I didn't have MTV at the time. Andre remembers it. So I can't compare this one to one. I thought it was incredible, though. I'm going to, again, be the boring person I was on this show a while ago. The problem with Pac-Man being the first video game mascot, you know, the one that we still use anyway, is that his source material is incredibly abstract. And for Namco, that's meant once a decade or so.

[00:26:42] They've needed to clunkily figure out what else he can do outside of the mazes to varying degrees of success. I mean, I like Pac-Man, too, but nobody else does. I wonder why. I mean, you don't like shooting him with a slingshot and trying to get his attention. That may or may not work. You're all Philistines. I swear to God. Anyway, I would like that game if he wasn't such a baby half the time and he just gets pissed off every time, like anything looks at him funny. And it's like, well, you just do the thing I want you to do, Pac-Man.

[00:27:13] The point I'm trying to make here is that this whole thing right here, this the shadow labyrinth is the most unsafe they've ever been with the source material. And I could still tell what it is. Just incredible. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, we didn't have shadow labyrinth could not exist and I wouldn't have to know anything about this night. Obviously, we would know what this is.

[00:27:37] God, I love the end to where he turns into the big like actually turns into the Pac-Man, the big spooky dookie Pac-Man and like chomps. So that was fucking really weird. Okay. And look, maybe it's just me reading into this because I love Pac-Mania. The fact that that was shot from that isometric angle. Was that a reference or kind of look like Pac-Mania from that from that angle? Yeah, that might have been for us. You know what? That's a reference. They could tell us if we're wrong.

[00:28:07] Okay. We're deciding it's a reference. Though it's kind of too bad. And this is kind of outside the short. It's kind of too bad that Shadow Labyrinth, the game itself, won't be allowed to be this cool because it's going to be rated teen. They can't deliver on the promise of the short if you're not going to be rated mature. So that sucks. I think that kind of sucks. I mean, I'm still going to play Shadow Labyrinth, even though it's rated teen, but it's not going to be like this.

[00:28:36] I got to fight you a bit here. It doesn't need to be bloody to win me over. I mean, the Game Awards trailer already won me over. I do need the game to embrace the shorts, you know, rest of everything. Basically, I hope Puck is as ever present as we've seen in this short. I know I'm talking about the game more than the short for most of this segment, but I think that was the point of this short for everyone to talk about how this exists at all. Yeah.

[00:29:04] Well, I mean, the fact that Shadow Labyrinth exists at all is just fucking wild. So, I mean, look, I'm still going to play Shadow Labyrinth. It's just, you know, I would have rather they went full fucking violent and weird with it. Like this short does. But we'll see what they can get away with. Maybe they'll do it like the TV series of Fist of the North Star and have like the big exploding heads and like some sort of silhouette shot.

[00:29:31] You know, like how they did it on that show to get away with it on TV in the 80s, right? Just don't do the Manhunt 2 thing on Wii where they had to get it down from adults only by doing like the weird filters over it or whatever the hell they remember that shit. That was a thing. That was so weird. Anyway, I'm going to give this episode a B+. This was really cool. I'm giving this an A-. Wow. Let's go to the next episode.

[00:30:00] Episode 7, Crossfire, Good Conflict. I feel like I know what Crossfire is. I feel like it's a free-to-play third-person shooter if I'm not completely mistaken. I feel like that's what this game is. And they love it in Korea and China. Oh, it's popular over there. Okay, that makes a lot more sense. I mean, I've heard of it. But, you know, well, that makes a lot more sense why they'd make a short of this.

[00:30:29] But, you know, whatever. Point is, this isn't great. Like, the animation here goes for total realism. I would say out of any of these 15 shorts, Steve, this one is the most realistic looking. And I think it's pretty impressive, honestly. I think they pull it off. You mentioned Final Fantasy The Spirits Within earlier. And while the two of us, like, appreciate that movie's ambition, what we can do nowadays is on a completely different level, of course.

[00:30:59] Like, shit, that part where, like, the white SUVs and, like, the street textures and, like, shit, even, like, the winds blowing and the ripples and the captain's clothes and shit. Like, that was immaculate. You gotta give it at least that. Yeah, all that was good. And, honestly, the realism didn't bother me as much as it did in Dungeons & Dragons because we're mostly in the dark, in the rain.

[00:31:24] And I'm sure there's some joke I can make about games being released around this time, making this choice of color, you know, or lack thereof, a purposeful choice for this short. But it's not coming to me at the moment. So I'm not doing that. Okay. Well, I mean, quite honestly, though, I wish you would because I don't really have anything else to say about this short. It's really, it's pretty boring.

[00:31:51] It's your typical militaristic, is militaristic a word? Yes. Military-esque? Okay. Militaristic heist. Then it's just, that's all it is. Not completely worthless, but there's just nothing to say. Not even, like, the car chase part was exciting. It's just kind of a flat line the whole way through. It's the Warhammer problem again. This episode wasn't made for us. The game's popular overseas, but without the title, this could have been anything. The Division, good conflict. Call of Duty, good conflict.

[00:32:20] Battlefield, good conflict. Literally anything, good conflict. I mean, look, as a Division liker, I can't totally fight you on that as much as I would like to. But, you know, what can I say? I'll give it a C-. It wasn't completely offensive. It was just kind of boring. Because this episode wasn't based on the 80s, 90s children's board game with the bitch in commercial, it's an F. No, I'm just kidding. It's a C-. I'll give it a C-.

[00:32:48] Wouldn't that be great if, like, the SUVs just started, like, opening up the doors? You just start, crossfire! Yeah! We're getting caught up in it, General! Next episode. Episode 8 is Andre's Baby, Armored Core Asset Management, with Keanu Reeves as the pilot. Yeah, Keanu Reeves as the pilot, as if you couldn't tell from, like, two words in.

[00:33:16] You know me, I'm shitty at telling voices, but I know that one. And he kind of looks like him, too. Kind of. A little bit. We also got a consummate voice actor, Steve Blum, as one of the people picking a fight with the pilot at the bar. Not Keanu Reeves, but someone at home might pick on me if, like, Steve, you're the voice guy. How come you didn't pick out the voice actor? Okay, I picked out the voice actor, okay? And you picked out the voice actor named Steve. I found him. I found the voice actor.

[00:33:44] You found the only one named Steve. Yeah, Armored Core. I mean, I don't know if it's my big... Well, I don't know why I'm fighting you on this. Of course it is. I love Armored Core. I always have. Since I was a teenager. Yes, I was one of those at one point. There's just something... There's something weird and cursed about seeing actual humans in Armored Core. Especially since they're doing, like, really actual human things. Like you said, getting to a fight at the bar and, like, stealing cigarettes and shit.

[00:34:13] I'm not really sure I needed to see that part. Can we just get to the robotting, please? Like, I'm sure people who don't, like, play Armored Core won't think that's weird, but it was weird for me. I haven't played Armored Core that much. And here's the thing. After Warhammer and Crossfire, I was already preparing other Mac games to tack asset management onto. Okay, fine. Just one. Into the Breach asset management. There. You happy? But, uh... Not really.

[00:34:44] You know what? I feel like this went out the gate feeling like its own thing. Maybe the human part felt more necessary to me than it did to Andre. Or maybe they made up all that lore at the beginning, too. Andre could tell me how much of that was real. It was real. That's true to Armored Core. But for the sake of storytelling, they gave me, the dum-dum who didn't play... Who only played, like, a few minutes of Armored Core at home. Something to follow along with for 12 minutes.

[00:35:15] And... For me, that's a good thing. Yeah. I did like the actual robotting. Once we did get there. You know? It's good. And it really looks the part, too. And they really had, like, the robot with the cyber sword and the cyber shield. You know what I mean? Going after the guys with the absurdly loud Gatling guns and shit. You know? All of that was, like, a nice, fast pace. So, like, yeah. That was very true to Armored Core. Especially very true to the latest one, Armored Core 6.

[00:35:43] Like, it really looked the part. And, of course, I'm sure the short was largely based off of the latest game. And it even has a downer ending. That's Armored Core as hell. So, I think they kind of nailed it in that respect. Yeah. That ending. I remember you harping on that point of nebulous morality of things when you were playing the new one.

[00:36:07] And I guess it tipped the needle a bit for me into, you know, thinking about downloading one of the ones that appeared on Royale with Cheese real soon. I mean, I'm sure they took artistic liberty with that a bit. But, dang, I wasn't expecting that in one of these. Yeah. That's Armored Core. Not only are you not the good guy, you don't get a good ending. That's just what the series is. And I like that they were true to that.

[00:36:35] Wasn't really a fan of, like, the 2010s-ass, like, EDM they use for music. Not that I'm, like, a huge fan of, like, Armored Core music in general. But I would have preferred that to this. But that's just a minor complaint. Honestly, it was okay. I'd give this a C. Maybe a C plus if I was feeling generous. But I do not feel generous to secret level. So, I'm just going to give it a flat C. If I knew Armored Core a bit better, I probably would have given this a better grade. But for me, it's just a C for now, today.

[00:37:05] All right. Next episode. We are now at episode 9. The Outer Worlds. The Company We Keep. Oh, baby. Steve, The Outer Worlds is nothing like this. Like, I know that sounds like a bit of a silly thing to say considering the creative licenses we've been taking with other properties so far. But this was just bizarre.

[00:37:33] Like, the tone was completely wrong here. I'm not sure where they went, like, total goofy comedy with it. Like, ha-ha. Look at how extreme capitalism is in the future. Like, yeah. That's part of The Outer Worlds, right? But that's not all it is. But that's certainly all this short is. It's almost like a... Man. You know what it's like? It's like the thing that we always say about, like, people who have really bad media literacy.

[00:38:02] Where it's like, that's the thing you took away from this piece of art? That's the thing? I think that's... Someone played Outer Worlds and it's like, it's really funny. And like, oh, God. They made a lot of jokes about, like, weird things companies do. Isn't that cute? And now that's the entire short of this. So it's like, that's not Outer Worlds. And look, I know I'm coming out of like a fanboy. I've said several times on the show, Outer Worlds is one of my favorite RPGs, Western or otherwise, in years.

[00:38:31] I love that game. So, I don't know. I'm not saying it had to be exactly the games. But Steve, I definitely did not want this. And I'm going to steal your bit for a second. This doesn't feel very bespoke to Outer Worlds. This could have easily been Borderlands, the company we keep, for all I knew. And I know you know more about Borderlands than other worlds, but wouldn't you agree? Again, Andre, this is another game on the pile.

[00:38:59] Again, I think I bought this game twice and I still haven't played it. But PS5 or something? I have it on PS4 and I have it on Switch. But again, I don't know what I would have done with this. If you went on an actual space adventure, you would have run the risk of being generic, even more generic than some of these other ones. And I also think they were on the right track with A Day in the Life.

[00:39:26] But in the space colony, what are we doing here? But maybe they were trying too hard to be funny like in A New World. I think they missed it. Absolutely. Especially with the ending. This could have been good. They didn't do it. The ending could have been actually really good. If the ending was good, I probably would have put it in sea territory. They could have been onto something there, but they did not do it. And hey, I'll make myself look bad some more.

[00:39:55] I'm going to bitch about the animation. Specifically the people. Specifically the heads. This is going to be lost on Andre, but anyone out there remember Angela Anaconda? That thing on Fox Kids or Fox Family in the latest 90s that was just animated black and white photos snapping together in place to make it look like they were talking. This feels like that, but fed through AI and given way too many frames.

[00:40:23] It doesn't look very nice. Okay. I have no idea what that cartoon is. So if anyone else out there knows that you're in heaven right now. Yeah, I didn't have a problem with the animation and I don't think it looked very out of worlds, but I definitely didn't hate it, especially their proportion. So yeah, I guess we disagree there, but I think we might agree on the grade, which is a big old D. Yeah, I got a D too. Okay.

[00:40:53] D it is. Next episode. Why? Why that noise? Oh, I know what the next episode is. Episode 10 is Mega Man start. Andre, it's not a secret that I love me some Mega Mans. You know who doesn't? The people who made this.

[00:41:22] I, okay, full disclosure. As I saw this episode before Steve did. So I said, so I told him I didn't like it. He's like, okay. I'm like, I think you're going to be nicer to it than me. I think you may actually get something out of this. I was very wrong. Apparently. Because you didn't get shit. Oh, I got shit on. So, all right. I apologize, but not really. I semi-apologize for the tone I'm about to take here.

[00:41:52] But this is one of the episodes everyone seems to like, and I cannot for the life of me understand why. This is so lame, and it looks lame. This has, this looks like a bad Xbox 360 remake of Mega Man done by an American studio. That's the feel of this short. It has all the artistic sensibility of GameStop merchandise. It's plastic and it's hollow.

[00:42:21] It's like if GameStop made a TV show, basically. Oh, wow. He's putting on the blue suit to a dramatic symphonic version of Mega Man 2 music. Oh, boy. They're playing the two songs everyone knows who pretends to be a Mega Man fan. That's exactly what this is. It feels like it was made by someone who watched their cousin play Mega Man 2 one time. And it's like, oh, I could make that a short. I'm sorry. I know that makes you sound like a gatekeeping prick, but I mean, it's true.

[00:42:50] Why is Bomb Man 50 feet tall, Andre? I don't know. Why are the brain parasites cause of the robot rebellion, Andre? I don't know, man. I really don't know. I wish I knew. At first, I was very disappointed that this had like the shortest run time in comparison to the others, because there was no way you were going to convey the bizarre sense of sci-fi melodrama that rewards you over the course of the series.

[00:43:19] But then I realized we weren't going to have enough time to worry about that, because as you just said, we barely put on the blue armor just in time for the short to end. Yeah. Well, I mean, that's like a perfect metaphor for what I was saying. It's for people who don't actually care about Mega Man. You just put on the blue armor and it's over. That's when they stop caring. It's all aesthetic to people like that. And that's literally who the short was made for. If you just like that Mega Man aesthetic.

[00:43:48] Also, I did not like you want to talk faces. I did not really like, you know, I shouldn't. I should take that back a little bit. I do actually like Dr. Light in this. I actually like the way he looks, believe it or not. I mean, it's fine, but I didn't come here to look at Dr. Light. You motherfucker. I'm trying to say one good thing about this short before I give it a D plus and you won't even help me. Give me one thing. Fine, Dr. Light. Fine.

[00:44:16] And I think I talked myself into a D minus. I had a D on here, but I got so fucking mad just now talking, saying all this shit out loud. I talked myself down to a D minus for Mega Man's story. So I can never talk you up, but you can talk yourself down to a D. I didn't think it was even possible, but I did it. Okay, fine. I'll stick with the D plus just because the pluses were Dr. Light. Otherwise, I would have given it a D. I think the D, I think Dr. Light's the only thing make it stopping it from being an F.

[00:44:46] Jesus Christ. All right, let's move on to the next episode. Episode 11, Exodus Odyssey. Ah, Steve, I am not sure I know what Exodus is. Do you know what Exodus is? Barely. There's a great reason you don't know what Exodus is. And that's because it's not out yet. Oh. It's being made by Archetype Entertainment. They're a subsidiary of Wizards of the Coast.

[00:45:15] We already saw them with Dungeons and Dragons. And they got a bunch of former Bioware talent pooled working on this thing for the past few years. Probably why they actually spent a few minutes doing some exposition on this one. Yeah, they sure did. Something that's apparent by this point in the series is that the selection of games here across these shorts kind of sucks. You know?

[00:45:45] And it's not because I personally never heard of Exodus or whatever. It's just that we're doing yet another short about a bad future and space and robots. Like, this is starting to feel like one particular person's tastes. Plus Pac-Man and Mega Man to keep it old school. Because that's something he's heard of before. You know? And Pac-Man is an advertising concern. So does that even count? Not really. Because it's not Pac-Man, Pac-Man.

[00:46:13] And then Mega Man is as superficial as it gets. So, like... This was not a great year for Mega Man. Because between that and that Funko whatever cameo. Oh my god. Oh lord. I forgot about that fucking game already. Poor fucking Mega Man. I mean, god damn. Built a whole thing for Mega Man 11 and let it sit dormant. Anyway. It also...

[00:46:37] At this point, it's very clear to me that a lot of these shorts bite off way more than they can chew. Like, this Exodus one does for sure. Dungeons and Dragons did. Crossfire certainly did. Or it's just a little nibble. Like Mega Man. That just wasn't enough. It's unsatisfying. They just can't seem to find that middle ground, Steve. I don't... Like... I mean, some do. I mean, okay. Outer Worlds did. It sucked. But it did.

[00:47:07] But... Man. I don't know. The direction across a lot of these is weird. As you can tell, I don't really want to talk about this Exodus episode very much at all. I don't really have anything to say. Kind of why I'm taking a trip back through, like, the other... Looking at this thing as a whole. But sorry. But if you... I dare you to explain to me what happened in this short. Because I don't know. I'm going to be very mean. And you know... And tell you what really happened in this episode.

[00:47:37] We were getting homework. We were getting prerequisite material for a game prior to release. Remember very early on in our show when I played Final Fantasy XV and you told me watching Kingsglaive would marginally improve that experience? Mm-hmm.

[00:47:57] All of these explanations and scene changes of different races, cultures, and time dilations between all of that crap that they're trying to shove in here... Just feel like homework that no one's going to want to do when the finished product comes out in another year or two. I know I already feel like I'm not interested in this. And this was only, like, 15 minutes long. Mm-hmm.

[00:48:25] Like, let's say the game comes out next year. Are you really going to want to tell people, oh, this makes all kinds of sense if you watch the secret level episode 11 Exodus Odyssey? No, I'm sure you don't want to do that any more than you want to say, hey, the first eight hours of Final Fantasy XVI makes a lot more sense if you watch Kingsglaive. It does, but that's not the way this should go. You know? So, man, I'll give it a C-.

[00:48:55] It wasn't terrible. I just... It's just a blank slate for me. I don't have anything to say about this. C- seems to be the trend, right? Like, it's not... It's just... It's competent, but it's not good. It really isn't good. Let's go to the next episode. Guys, I got good news. Episode 12 is a video game we've heard of. Spelunky. Tally. Spelunky. I've heard of that.

[00:49:25] It's a meta commentary on roguelikes, right? We're just gonna... Yeah, it gets very... Keep talking about how we're dying again and again. Yeah, it's a very meta commentary on the nature of roguelikes and the two characters in the short are talking about their various deaths and the nature of dying and coming back. And, like, you know, the main character even has a line, I feel like this one might be my run. You know? So they're getting very cute with it, I guess. You know what, Andre?

[00:49:55] I will be nice for this one short. Really? Yes, because I've usually got a roguelike running on something somewhere, Slay the Spire. And I thought this was a very cute look at it, even if it was a little cheesy. I just... I guess I just take umbrage with the fact that, like, all the action in the short is basically a montage of them dying over and over.

[00:50:26] Which would be amusing as part of, like, a larger movie or something. But, like, since this is not a larger movie, I feel like I'm just watching a clip of a movie that we don't get to see the rest of. It's not that I needed to see her complete the run, right? I didn't necessarily need that. I just... I don't know, man. I would have liked to have seen it, though. I would have liked to have seen stuff that's more amusing than just clip shows of them dying.

[00:50:51] But it does feel like the writers of the shorts forgot that it's okay to have conclusions to these things. So, I guess I feel... I'm playing it both ways right now. I don't know. I think here it's okay that we don't see her make it. Like, we're supposed to buy this Belunky game and do that ourselves. I guess. I don't know. I think I'm being a little nice because we've had so many other duds. It's a distinct possibility that I got secret level rot.

[00:51:21] And it's like, you know what? This one's pretty good. Yeah. Secret level Stockholm Syndrome? Yeah. Yeah, I mean, I get why you might like this one more than me. I just... I don't know. I didn't... They also got really emotional about all this death and dying and stuff, which is... I don't know. That's not really what I want from my Spelunky animated short, personally. We can just show the action.

[00:51:50] We don't need to, like, try to humanize it because it's an inherently inhuman thing. You're dying over and over and coming back. It doesn't make any sense. So I wouldn't try to make it make sense. Well, that's why you're humanizing it, because it doesn't make sense. I... Yeah, but it's also, like, based off of roguelike. Like, if you're going to get that meta with it, I don't think you need it to make sense, personally. But so...

[00:52:18] I'll give it a C- just like... I've been giving a lot of C-minuses. I'm giving it a hearty B. Wow. Okay. Again, I might just be having that secret level brain rot, but it's getting a B. Okay, fine. Let's move on to the next episode.

[00:52:38] Episode 13 is Concord, Tale of the Implacable? Implacable? Implacable? Implacable? Concord, Tale of the Implacable. They don't say it once. No, they sure don't. Um, as I'm sure everyone knows, this episode was released, like, three months after Concord

[00:53:06] already had its infamous two-week run of existing as a video game, before it was withdrawn and refunded forever. And so, the showrunner, in this case Tim Miller, didn't really give much thought to removing it after that it happened, and I quote, First of all, we have other episodes that don't have existing games out there, either because they haven't come out yet, or because they came out in the past and aren't currently published. So I didn't feel weird about that. But also, why?

[00:53:36] Hundreds of artists and animators and lighters and modelers worked on this episode, and it's great. The characters are cool. It's funny. It's a really interesting episode. So why add insult to injury and not have all that hard work be shown to the world? It's a great episode regardless of what happened. End quote. You know what, Steve? I'm on his side. I'm not going to say it's a great episode, but yeah, they should have shown this. I didn't think it was weird that they didn't cancel this.

[00:54:05] And Andre, I think it's very appropriate that a game that shat the bed opens with all the ways you could shit the bed in space. You can wait for that one, huh? How long have you been sitting on that one? Oh, as soon as I saw it. Okay. I mean, but what do you think? I'm sure you remember. I think we even made a big question out of on Fine Time, like, oh, are they going to cancel the episode? Nah, don't do that. No, I get it.

[00:54:35] You put in the work. You paid the people. Just keep it on. I get it. Yeah. So I'm not going to tell you this was an amazing short because it's not. What I will tell you is that this was much better than anything that was actually in the game or any of the cut scenes they showed at events like State of Play where everyone's just annoyed. It's like, can these people just shut up? I actually thought the short was much better than any of that stuff.

[00:55:03] This actually had some personality and like direction and some clear goals about exactly what Concord is. I never got that from any of the other media around this game. Again, not fantastic, not a fantastic short, but it just makes me wonder why this didn't come through in the actual product that is no longer existing. Just to emphasize what didn't come through on the final product.

[00:55:29] There's a axolotl lady alien that pops out of a mascot character costume with Chaz guns installed in the fingers. I'm not saying this would have single handedly saved Concord, but where was any amount of this personality when you were showing this game off for 15 minutes at a time?

[00:55:54] When the Kevin people out there kept hitting 15 seconds, 15 seconds, 15 seconds. Yeah. I mean, you're right. Like I wanted, I was rooting for Concord. As you well know, I had already given up on Overwatch or at this point, Overwatch 2. So I was like, I'm homeless. I could play Concord. I could play Marvel Rivals. I ended up very much liking Marvel Rivals. And if I did like Concord, it wouldn't matter because it doesn't exist anymore. But I did play that beta, Steve, if you remember. And I talked about it on the show.

[00:56:22] I was like, none of that personality is while you're shooty, shooty, bang, bang. Like none of that happens. You may as well just be playing Destiny 2 PvP. Like it's with creative characters and even that had more personality. So yeah. Anyway, though, this isn't the time to shit on Concord, the game that is now resting in peace. I want to shit. Well, I don't want to shit on this Concord short. I'm going to give it a C plus. I thought it was mostly amusing.

[00:56:52] It was OK. Concord, the short was OK. It gets a C. All right. Next episode. Episode 14 is Honor of Kings, the way of all things. Steve, can you please tell me what Honor of Kings is? Please tell me this isn't a fake video game they just invented.

[00:57:18] It's a mobile game for mobile, which means it might as well be imaginary. But at least to folks like us. Well, no, I looked it up on Google Play. You can, in fact, download it right now. But it's clearly entrenched and to a point that there's no fucking way we're going to get into it if you wanted to try it right now. Yeah, it seems like, you know, some I mean, look, if I'm going to play a MOBA, I'm not going to play it on the iPad or whatever anyway.

[00:57:45] But, you know, still, Alex Lee is Yee Jing in this short. And if you don't know Alex Lee, he's Luke from Street Fighter 6. Yeah. So he's a fairly known voice actor. So I was surprised to see him front and center here for a short. I mean, that's I guess not surprised. But yeah, why not? I think he's I think he's good at this. And it shows in this short because, Steve, I like this one.

[00:58:10] Yeah, I look, obviously, well, not obviously, because I don't know what you would have expected from this. This had nothing to do with what I saw of the source material. This was very interesting to watch the game world. There's a shifting city and even the monster raid at the end when they suddenly remembered, oh, shit, this is a MOBA. We better do some MOBA shit.

[00:58:35] I mean, to pay a character design compliment for once, there is this cyber brain guy living in the pyramid or whatever that was. He had this neat otherworldly but somehow not look going to this. This was a lot of fun. Yeah, I actually I did enjoy this. It's funny you mentioned the well, the MOBA part at the end, because it's like when they walked into the inner chamber and they started talking about like, oh, he's the best player of this game or this game they're about to play.

[00:59:05] That's when it tipped me off. I was like, oh, no, this is a mobile game, isn't it? And then low and because it gave me that vibe. And then lo and behold, like it is it is indeed a mobile MOBA. So but yeah, I didn't know that before I watched it. This is obviously inadvertent, but the main character really looks a lot like the main character in Dynasty Warriors Origins. Did you play the demo? Like he really looks like him. Yeah, I played the demo, but I think that was very unintentional.

[00:59:33] I don't think they went out of their way to do that. Of course not. I mean, I'm sure these things are being developed, you know, miles and miles and brains apart from each other. But, you know, yeah, it was just pretty uncanny. That's all that it looks like. Anyway, as just like you, I don't know jack shit about the source material, but I love the idea of like this overarching cyber brain that keeps a city running. And then if the cyber brain starts to fail, like weird shit happens, like when the bridge

[01:00:01] is falling down, that's being kept together with like, you know, cyber brain energy right in the beginning. Like that's that's fascinating. That's neat. I don't know. Again, I don't know if that manifests itself in the game. Probably not. But it's a neat idea. Yeah, I mean, I'm pretty sure you're not playing Othello with a cyber brain either. I mean, I feel like that was the crux of the short, right? Like you're we're doing pseudo psychology philosophy bullshit the whole time.

[01:00:30] And I don't think that's the game either. Yeah, that's definitely not the game. That was that's probably the most annoying thing about it is that like, yeah, there's a lot of vaguely interesting metaphysical bullshit talk that's but it's really heightened by the other thematic elements. Like you said, the world is shifting as they're playing their combination Othello and go game or whatever, whatever it's supposed to be with the black and white pieces. And yeah, I just think it's very neat visually and they're just talking to each other and

[01:00:59] kind of like they're playing the game against each other. But they're also psychologically trying to, you know, psych each other out while the world around them shifts. And it's just a neat visual. And maybe I don't understand everything about it, but I don't have to. So my favorite anime doesn't make any sense at all. That's fine. And I kind of put that in the same category where like the look and feel of it. What was that thing Roger Ebert said about Dracula? Bram Stoker's Dracula? Francis Ford Coppola? Oh, what was that?

[01:01:29] He had he just I think he just said something like I just love the way it looked and felt or something like that. Yeah, that's that's basically what this short is. I love the way it looked and felt the rest. I don't know. Don't really care either. Well, you know what, Andre? This did have an ending. Sure did. Unlike a bunch of these other ones. Yeah, it really did have an end. It was a good ending. Liked it. You know what? I wrote down B minus. I think I'm going to weigh up myself here. It's a B plus.

[01:01:58] I'm going to go B plus. You know what? Well, we'll I'll join you in B plus land. I had B. Awesome. Well, we'll go to. We'll sit together and be plus land. Cool. I'm glad I could even have to convince you this time. That makes me real happy. Let's move on to the final episode. Our last episode, episode 15, playtime fulfillment. So playtime is obviously not a video game.

[01:02:28] This short is essentially a giant commercial for PlayStation. There is some notable talent here. Kevin Hart is the robot. But then, as you discovered, his daughter, Heaven Hart, is the main character. Oh, what the fuck? Well, you know, it worked out so well for After Earth that they thought they tried here. No, I'm just kidding. Oh, man. It just I mean, they were kidding. She actually tried.

[01:02:57] She actually tried. I was going to say they weren't the problem with this. The problem is everything else. But it's not readily apparent that it's a PlayStation commercial until the hell divers show up to arrest our protagonist. Oh, I because before that, I was like, what the fuck? Oh, we're just OK. You didn't see the PlayStation badge on her baggie or whatever that was. I did, but I didn't necessarily think anything of it. I just thought maybe that could have been a cute.

[01:03:27] OK, this one's financed by Sony or something, you know, but it's like, OK. But obviously the name of the episode, Playtime, kind of tip me off like, OK, this isn't a video game. This is some sort of other bullshit. But I didn't think Steve, I didn't think this would turn into like a bad fanfic because shortly after the hell divers show up, she gets on her bike and speeds away. A colossus from Shadow of the Colossus shows up in the middle of the street to block her path.

[01:03:56] Then fucking Kratos shows up for no reason and also like blocks her path and like swipes at her. It's like, what the hell is going on? I guess they're living in the PlayStation and I guess. OK, fine. Ads have been doing this for a while. Remember back in 1999 when Dreamcast was thinking and having the best damn parties in town? Yeah, sure. I get that.

[01:04:25] I understand that's the vibe they were going for here, but this doesn't work. I mean, to me, this felt more like the Michael PS3 ad for 10 minutes. I don't know. To me, this just felt very slimy all the way down because life is gamified because O was literally working for decals and whatever else. And her comically short lunch break. Did you see that?

[01:04:53] She has like literally like some sort of 90 second lunch break while Kevin Hart is saying whatever in her ear. And she has this like comically large bucket of like KFC tenders and fries or something. Not literally KFC. It's just what it looks like. Yeah. And she tosses like 85% of it in the garbage because it's time to time to go. It's like can't even eat. God damn it. Gotta do a Death Stranding or whatever we're doing in this show. Yeah. It's like the animation.

[01:05:22] Well, it's funny you mentioned the 2000s and that kind of like, you know, hey, or late 90s as well. Like with the Dreamcast. Like, hey, we're doing party. We're in the city. We're in the Dreamcast city. Right? Like, and I, again, I love motifs like that, but the animation style here looks like what's the second Munch's Odyssey? Oddworld? Right? Yeah. The 2000s. The one for Xbox, basically. Or anything else from the 2000s where like crass commercialism runs amok.

[01:05:51] The animation is nice, but it doesn't have any impact when the actual work itself is crass commercialism. Like, Oddworld and stuff works because it's like, you know, I don't have to explain Oddworld to everybody. Right? This is just a commercial. So it doesn't work at all. It's just crass. But don't forget your flame orange decal. Shut up. Okay? This is a middle school fanfic. Admit it. What's there to admit?

[01:06:20] It was some sort of fanfic, at least. It was gross. It's terrible, man. Basically what I'm saying is I'm here for commercialism, but not like this. Okay? Commercialize the right way. Yeah. Be the Dreamcast, not the PlayStation 3. You know which ones I didn't mind too much?

[01:06:43] I don't know if it was a commercial for Wii Party U or maybe just the Wii U itself, but they have this like, here's this building and here's these rooms where people are doing these different Wii activities. Like, I like stuff like that. Right? So everyone remembers the initial Switch teaser with the girl at the rooftop party. We've made fun of it a million times. Like, you can do stuff like that. Just don't do it like this. So I'm going to give this a D plus.

[01:07:12] Give it a flat D, Andre. This wasn't good. That's it? Nothing else to say about the PlayStation commercial? Are you sure you want to move on? I have a PlayStation, Andre. What are they going to do? Make me give it back? Well, you know, it's funny because like, you know, we've had stuff like Astro Bot, which does the meta stuff like they are literally inside the PlayStation or the PlayStation 5. Right? Yeah. Like, we've done this very, very recently.

[01:07:42] So to do playtime this way just seems. But you know why they did it this way? Because we got to be edgy and cool for the grownups paying for Amazon Prime. This was not edgy or cool. It was fucking stupid. It was a PG-13 comedy from 1998. I don't know. Some of those were good, though. Well, not good. Some. Some. Watchable with a bucket of popcorn. This, I don't know.

[01:08:12] This was not good. Yo! Maybe that's what this, if this showed before The Matrix back in the day, right? Oh. Like, here's our PS1 commercial. Like, this would have fit that time. But even then, I still wouldn't have thought it was cooler than like the Dreamcast one you mentioned or like other ones. This would have been okay. And it would have been like, ooh, it's on the big screen before our shooty bang bang R-rated movie.

[01:08:40] Fucking rascal running around the streets of the PS1. Can you imagine what this would have looked like in 1999 CGI? Like, just. Anyway, I'm sorry. I feel like we've dunked on this one longer than we have any other episode. So let's just wrap this up, shall we? They're making another season of this bullshit. There will be a season two of Secret Level. What? Yeah. It's happening.

[01:09:10] So, uh, see you back here next year or later this year or whenever that happens. Hopefully there's a few more video games that actually exist in this one. Whether they have come out yet or have came and gone. Yes! But, uh, okay. See you back here for season two. Check the description of this podcast to find our links on social media for all things fine time. See you next time. Bye. Bye. You've been listening to...