G&C Podcast - Episode 208: So Bad It's Great: A Spy Kids Retrospective!

[00:00:00] Hey everybody, on this episode of Gaming and Collecting, me and Alex are taking a blast to the past to do a little retrospective on the Spy Kids series of films. Just to see how they have aged and uh, they haven't aged well, let's just say that. We also talked about Sharkboy and Lavagirl. Basically we just talked about some Robert Rodriguez movies. It was a time. But anyways guys, on with the episode.

[00:00:41] How you been? My hair is straight. Did you notice? Yeah, you went to the old hair person. Hair person? How do I look? You look lovely. Thank you Austin! That's a beautiful look.

[00:01:07] Hey, this is, it's a video episode so the viewers get to enjoy me with a mustache for two seconds. Yay! They sure do. They sure do indeed. What are you trying to say? What are you trying to say? If people want to enjoy that, that's quality content. Chef's kid, ah! It just sprinted. No more cats.

[00:01:31] There was a cat behind me, but then she just did what cats do and the brain cell kicked in for a second and it zooped. Yeah. Oh. It has a mystical glowing sign behind him. Yeah, it's this really fancy sign our mother got me for my birthday that's for the podcast. But because my webcam isn't very good, it doesn't really see it. So you get this glowing thing in the background.

[00:01:56] You can kind of see it like on certain colors. Like when it turns reddish, you can kind of see there's something there. Yeah. Yeah. I'll have to mess around with the settings later, but it's got like this, it doesn't have a remote, it's got this like clicky thing, but it's all the way back there and I can't reach it right now. So I had to rearrange everything to fit that back there too, which is, which is always fun. Looks good though.

[00:02:24] I will. I do. I can't not say this, but your 3DO sign is very crooked. It's been crooked since it went up and I'm, I just don't feel like moving it anymore. Do you have a level? I tried to fix it once and made it worse and I said, fuck it. It's so crooked. It's really bothering me. I'm going to have to come over and fix it. It's really bought. How is it stuck? Is it just thumbtacks? Yeah. Okay. I'm going to fix that. It's been up there for so long. It's kind of stuck to the wall now.

[00:02:54] We're going to find a way. It is so crooked and I hate it. It needs to be fixed. Everything is like kind of crooked and nonsensical in here. So. No, no, no. It's just, it's worse when you have like the two of the, the episode icon photos of the thumbnails next to it that are, that are parallel and like wind up.

[00:03:19] And then that is just like, it's just, it bothers me. I need to fix it. I will fix it tomorrow. I will break into your house and fix it. No, you won't. It's too much effort for you. No, well, I'm de Christmasing tomorrow. So I will request your assistance at one point of just helping me get all the bins and stuff upstairs and maybe downstairs.

[00:03:43] In return, I might get pizza. You want some za? You want some za? Sure. Yeah. But yeah, I did that. I already de Christmased because I don't have nearly as much Christmas stuff. The hardest part was taking the tree apart. It was really about it.

[00:04:05] About it. I'm going to start doing some of it tonight is my plan. I'm going to work out after this and then start doing some of it tonight because mostly the tree upstairs, it has to go. Pooh is a monster and she just beats the shit out of that. Like the tree is kind of destroyed at this point. She just fucking murdered it. She had a vendetta against that tree and she wanted it to die. I don't, but it keeps me up at night. So it's, it's going by tonight.

[00:04:33] We're saying goodbye to it. And then I'll do the outdoors, uh, some point tomorrow, or I might push that off. We'll see. I want to get the inside though. Nice. Yeah. I just like, I started doing the tree and I just said, fuck it. Cause most of my stuff, I, it's just two buckets and I just have them in my basement right now. Cause I don't want to do the attic at the moment. Yeah. But, um, understandable.

[00:05:01] Most of it, I hide under my stairs because I can hide stuff under there. Yes. That is a good spot. Mine is not as a open, but I do store a bunch of stuff under there, which is very helpful. Yeah. So I did that. Um, I've just worked on my little layout here. It's still probably has to be some more work done, but I'll worry about that at a later time. Yeah. Um, other than that, I, I got to clean a little bit, but I can do that during the week. So it's not a huge deal.

[00:05:32] Oh, I told you about how I've got the cord for my, uh, my road. Yeah. My little, so new problem. I think the adapter for the thing died like the power adapter. Cause it's not getting any power. I'll have to look at it. Yeah. It won't like, cause when I plug a different cord into it, it says there's not enough power. Like you need to use the adapter.

[00:05:57] So like it'll, I think it's the actual power adapter now that's broke. That broke some house. Yay. This thing hates me. I just want to use it. It's just sitting here doing nothing. Yeah. Uh, welcome to podcasting. Yes. Yeah. And then here's my, my popped stress ball. That's very sticky.

[00:06:24] I'm not going to squeeze it because I don't want my hands to be sticky, but good thing I have two more. Until you, this one looks like a peep. That's gross. Could you hear that? Yeah. Very easily. Enough. This one sounds like very like, wet. Yeah. Okay. Enough. Wait together.

[00:06:58] This is the video version. So we're just going to see me go. Like, like, stressful. Yeah. I'm not kidding. This is how we all. You, you, you, you got too crazy and now you're out of focus. You've screwed it up. Let's move on. Well, I'm trying to get it back now. Maybe I can shake you a little bit.

[00:07:27] No, it'll, it'll fix it. There you go. I'm back. There. Oh, geez. Um, yeah. Other than that though, today I went to the grocery store, which was hell. Uh, like it usually is on Saturday. I got an oil change. I was very behind on it and they fixed my battery for free in my, uh, key, not my car battery, my key battery. They gave me a free one. Yay.

[00:07:57] And then I also went to the grocery store. Crazy at Geisler's. Well, Geisler's never is. I went to big Y. Yeah. Don't go to big Y. I do. I almost went to big Y cause I was technically closer to there based on where the Jeep, the dealership was. And, uh, I said, I don't want to do that to myself. And I said, I'm just going to go to Geisler's and it took me kind of a detour way to get there. But you know what?

[00:08:26] It was probably a lot less of a shit show than you went through. So yeah, no, just, I, it also doesn't help too, that it snowed last night. And when it snows in new England, it either. You need eight pounds of milk. Did you see that picture going around? What? There was a picture of some guy posting. He's like, he's like, we had a one day snowboarding and it was just a picture of a carriage with like the full of jugs of milk.

[00:08:51] And I was just like, well, what's crazy right now is, well, a lot of people are, um, putting like one piece references because half of the United States is frozen and half of it is on fire. And there's, um, an arc in one piece called punk hazard, which is an island that is half half on fire and half frozen. So I'm saying we've entered the one, the punk hazard arc of the United States. We sure have. We sure have.

[00:09:18] Some of those, like, have you seen the, like, wildfires? Yeah. I've, I've seen it and it's not good. Um, crazy. We're beyond the point now where you can make jokes and now it's just kind of like, ee. Like, Oh yeah. Like I feel really bad. Like there was one video that like, I almost start crying. Like there was this family, uh, mom and a son are like, they went, they were bringing their horses with them. So they're like, both have two horses in each of their hand.

[00:09:47] And then there's just this annoying ass reporter who's like trying to interview them. And they're just like, listen, we're trying to get our horses out of here. Get away. Like they were like really good because I don't think a lot of people think about it, but I'm sure there, there was a lot of animals left behind. There probably was. So that's the thing I hate is like, they're, they're only talking about the fricking celebrities. They're not talking about the millions of other people. No. Yeah. Like, like, yeah, it sucks for the celebrities, but there's also millions of other people that it also sucks for.

[00:10:17] And it's also like, I'm sorry, but all those celebrities got out of there in time before I think there are some people there who like die. Like there's a lot of people who have died in those fires and just a lot of people who like, they're not a celebrity. They don't have millions of dollars that they can just buy a new house. They've lost everything. Like, yeah, they, the celebrities probably lost a lot of memories too, but like they, they at least like, they can write to hotel.

[00:10:44] They, they have like, they can buy a lot of that stuff back. There's some people like they will never get any of that back. Like, it's just, it's, I hate that they're centered around celebrities too. It is. Oh, it's just the media is a fucking joke. Like, I don't like the meat. I don't like the news. I don't watch it period. And like this is even like online. It's like, guys, like there's other things to be focused on. Like, yeah, maybe I need ways to prevent this in the future.

[00:11:12] It was sad. Like I did see an interview with like the fire chief of the area and like, I won't say that they're perfect and they did everything right. But listening to some of the things they said of like, you know, the amount of people we have staffed compared to years ago versus now and how much the fires have are significantly worse. There's no way like they didn't have the, there was no way they could do anything.

[00:11:41] Like, yeah, it just sucks. Like, but there's definitely, there was problems. Like, obviously I think within there as well, but like, it's definitely understaffed in a place like California where this is happening all the time. Typical California being a shit show. Like, it just, I just feel so bad for all those people. The innocent people over there. Like, it's, it's focusing on celebrities, focus on the actual people.

[00:12:09] I know celebrities are people, but like, they'll be fine. Are they? Yeah. This is, this is a joke. It's a joke. People. I know, but like, they'll be fine. There's tons of other people who need help. Well, it was actually really nice. Like the brand that I'm actually wearing their necklace. Uh, Teddy fresh. They actually posted and I said, you know, anyone affected by the wildfires will send you clothes. Like we will send you clothes for nothing.

[00:12:36] Like just reach out to them and they'll send it, which was really nice of them. Cause a lot of brands were posting. It's like, Hey, you are, your orders might be affected by the wildfires, but they didn't even talk about that. They just talked about like, here, we're giving you clothes for free. Like, please take them. So that was a really nice thing. So I would definitely say if you like their stuff, definitely support them. Cause I was a really, they didn't have to do that. True. Yeah.

[00:13:04] Now if only Ethan would stop putting his foot in his mouth every other week. It's mostly, I would say it's mostly Hewlett's brand. Well, I know that I'm just saying he's, he is related to it and he does have a problem with putting his foot in his mouth every other week. Yeah. He can be a very nice guy. He just needs to stop talking sometimes. Like Jesus. I mostly associate the brand with his white heel up. I know. But he is a big part of promoting it too. Yeah.

[00:13:34] But speaking about the snow that happened here, this is New England. A, it wasn't warm. It wasn't cold enough to stick period, but also they put down like a gargantuan amount of salt. So any snow that did survive the, the, the, the temperature. I'm surprised they salt as much as they do where we live. Like just because like, we're in like a pretty, I mean, it's not rural, but like compared to other areas of Connecticut, it's a very farmy area.

[00:14:02] And I know for us, like we never got salt back at home cause everyone had wells. So I'm assuming a lot of people have, maybe there's not as many wells up here. Maybe a lot of people have town water. Yeah, probably. It's, it's, I'm not going to lie. This, I think the salt's a little excessive, but. I just think they're probably just making, taking the risk of, they, they don't want to risk someone getting hurt. Yeah. Cause the lawsuit, not great. Even on the roads though. I was like, God damn. Like it didn't even stick. Yeah.

[00:14:32] I think it's more though, is that they're more worried about tonight. It's going to get really cold and then it might freeze over. I think that's more what they're worried, especially with how windy it's been recently too. If it gets cold and that gust of wind, that's like negative five degrees. That that's rope. That's black ice. I think it's a little bit and it started out at a hundred percent chance of snow. Then it dropped down to 50.

[00:15:01] Then it dropped, it jumped back up to 75. Then it was down to like 35. And I was like, yeah, this is new. Even for you. Yeah. I have no idea. Pick up. I haven't picked up on the show in a while. No, you've also been very far away from the mic and you've been stressed lately. Am I a lot close? Like, how's the sound sound? How's the sounds? The sound sound sound sound. The sound sound sound sound sound sound sound sound sound sound sound. Oh, wait. ASMR time.

[00:15:29] I don't know what time it is. Bill, what are you drinking? What are you drinking, Bill? I am having... Because it is a Saturday and it is after five, I'm having a blue moon. All right, give us a fair.

[00:15:59] There's no nutritional facts on this. It's a fucking beer. What? Is there fluid ounces? I don't care. It's a beer. It has orange. Let me see. It's got orange in it. Give us something more. I saw something on the side. What does the side say? There was a little blob of text. I saw something. Blue Moon Brewing Company, Golden Colorado. Celebrate responsibly. It isn't drink. It's celebrate. All right. I will take that.

[00:16:27] That's more from Bill than I usually get. Bill, aren't you going to ask me what I'm drinking? How's that liquid death you're drinking, Alex? I'm drinking a liquid death. I believe it's the same thing I was drinking the last episode. Uh-huh. Root beer, raff, flavor and sparkling water, 12 fluid ounces, which equates to 355 milliliters. Everyone fucking cares. You take that off the screen right now.

[00:16:56] Uh, murder your thirst. Murder it. Murder it. Murder it. What else? What else can I say? Uh, this ruthless can of flavored sparkling water has a- what does that say? You take that down. Uh, has a- I'm not gonna attack on what?

[00:17:17] Has a twisted plan to use natural agame in exploding bubbles to murder your thirst. It's bougie water. It's good. And this cycle, your salt contains 0% juice. I would hope so. This is root beer flavored. But this is good. Like, if you kind of want root beer, but you don't want to have like a soda- like a soda with a lot of sugar root beer, you get this. It's really good.

[00:17:47] Nice. And it really tastes a lot like root beer. Just like- just a little like- not as sugary and sweet. But you get that nice root beer feel. Nice. Also, this is just officially Alex's drink song now. Yes. I love it. And once- You know my favorite part- Wait, turn it back on because I gotta dance. What's funny is like these are all pre-loaded songs into stream yards and like this one's literally called Into Space.

[00:18:17] I'm like, yeah, Alex is into space. All right. Yeah. Yeah. With my liquid dad. With my li- I'm fucking here. I wasn't done. Well, anyways, guys, we should probably start- Thanks so much for watching the gaming in- You get rid of that right now. I want one of the- Why am I in a fun bar? Because you're not in control. Why am I not in control? I should be in control.

[00:18:47] No. I should be in control. For one episode, I should be in control. Wait, you know what would be really funny? Is if we- We switched houses and I recorded from your- And you recorded from mine- No. That was so stupid but so silly. No. Get me the waffle time. I hate the waffle time. I hate waffling. Because you hate it. Well, you made it a thing. Can we bake potato on?

[00:19:17] No. How about pizza pie on? Let's move on. I really want pizza. Let's get pizza tomorrow. You already said you wanted to. I want pizza. Well- I'm trying to- Just take back the waffle and I'll let you continue. It's already gone. Take it back. It's been gone. Take back the words you spoke. Say something else. Everyone cares- Oh, is it fact time? Alright.

[00:19:47] What else can I read? Death to plastic. We don't- Enough of that. Oh, you want me to take- Damn it. Well, anyways, so we have a topic for this episode. Thank you so much for watching. So, this one is a bit different. We're trying something a little new.

[00:20:18] We're not talking gaming. We're not talking anime. Instead, we're talking about a series of movies from our childhood that were- At the time, we thought they were good. Looking back, maybe not this one. The first one, maybe. I might give a pass. But, um, we're talking about the Spy Kids franchise, which- Yes. This was a franchise that I remember was everywhere for like a good period from like 2001 to 3.

[00:20:47] Um, I don't even remember if these movies were good then. I think Kid Brain- Yeah, that's- It's hard to- I mean, I did go and look at like kind of the IMDB score. I mean, the first movie was well received. Yeah, I mean like, it got like a 5 out of 10. Um, on- But I mean, those ratings are kind of, you know, all over the place. IMDB isn't 100% the most accurate. But they only get worse from there. Yeah.

[00:21:17] Yeah, I was just trying to see anywhere. Like, uh, Rotten Tomatoes. Rotten Tomatoes gave the first one. Like, see Rotten Tomatoes says 92%. Yeah. It says 92% fresh. But then like the popcorn mean? I don't know. The audience score was 47%. So, I don't know though. But was Rotten Tomatoes around when this movie came out? Yeah. Pretty sure. It was? I think so.

[00:21:47] Uh, when did Rotten Tomatoes- Rotten Tomatoes launched in 1998. So yes, it was around. All right. Yes. Yeah. So it seems like, I mean- Not saying Rotten Tomatoes is an accurate- Um, none of these things are really accurate. It's all opinion. No, yeah. But yeah, these films are very interesting.

[00:22:10] They are created by Robert Rodriguez, who is an American filmmaker, composer, visual effects supervisor. He's been known for a lot of films. These are actually like, I think some of his more well-known films, even though they're, uh, not like a lot of his stuff. Like he did a lot of, um, different stuff like From Dusk Till Dawn, which is a, uh, Western horror film.

[00:22:36] Um, one of his movies I remember very well is he did a movie called Planet Terror, um, which is, which is a very absurd movie on a lot of levels. Um, he's just done a whole bunch of stuff. Uh, Danny Trejo's in like all of his films for whatever reason. And they're friends. They must be. Oh, he did, he did, uh, Sin City too. Hmm. That's cool. Uh, but yeah, he, he's done a whole bunch of films. They're, they're kind of all over the place.

[00:23:06] Spy Kids is like his most child-friendly films, you say? Yeah. And these films are bad. To say, to be nice about it. They're not like, they're not good film. We're just gonna say, they are not like Avengers Endgame. They are not, um, the Godfather. They're not amazing, classic. I don't know. I was just thinking of good movies.

[00:23:37] So, just, just for a little thing I want to bring up. The first movie I give a pass because that one is, it was at least different. Uh, two, three and four. Um, so let's put it this way. The fourth movie has 23% on Rotten Tomatoes. Um, and the second movie has like 75%. Yeah. I don't think these movies are any different in quality. They are pretty much the same quality as far as I'm concerned. Yeah.

[00:24:01] Um, do I, like, the, the first one, what makes the first one good is it has just kind of a, a good story to it. You know, it's like, it has the best story. It's also kind of grounded for what the, at least for, you know, what these films are supposed to be. Yeah. Um, I mean, cause the. Well, you were able to follow the plot of this one. I remember the second one. I was like, what the fuck are they doing now? Like the second one had too many plots. That was the problem.

[00:24:31] Like, cause the first one is a very simple, like family kind of story where the, the parents are two spies and they have kids and they retired, but then they get back into the game. And then of course. Yeah. And then of course they immediately get captured and then the kids have to join in and then the kids become spies. And then of course it's all, it's like a little fun, little rescue thing, but the villains are very memorable and kind of wacky. Yeah.

[00:24:55] Well, especially like the, all the faces and stuff, like the, the funky faces and what they do to the people that they've kidnapped. Like that, it was pretty interesting. Also these movies in particular have some very interesting casting choices. Like there are some surprisingly high name actors in these, like the, the first movie alone had Antonio Banderas, Danny Trigio, Terry Hatcher, Cheech Marin.

[00:25:21] Like a lot of really good actors and everyone, the acting is cheesy as fuck. And like the scripts are pretty awful, but the actual performances I think are really good. Like, yeah. And Antonio Banderas does a very good job at what he does being places that basically playing his himself. Um, they make, they make fun of the fact that like, anytime he like says anything, no one can understand him. Yep.

[00:25:51] Then I did like the main villain, quote unquote villain. He's not even really the villain in this, uh, the, the, the musical guy. What was his name? Uh, that was Floop. Oh yeah. Floop. Alan, Alan Cummings played, well, vegan Floop from the host of Floops Fooglies. Yes. The Fooglies.

[00:26:15] Um, he, he's a cheese ball, but like I, his acting, he is so, the acting is so cheesy, but he's like so serious. Like he is like so 100% with every like line he does that it's very endearing. Honestly, that is one thing I think about all of these movies is like, there is a lot of passion from the people in the movies. Cause like, we'll talk about the fourth one and in the fourth one, it wasn't new.

[00:26:43] So the first three movies, but kids one, two, and then three all had the same main casting for the most part. You know, Alex, some people who didn't Alex Vega and, uh, Alexa Vega, Alexa Vega, Alex Vega. Um, and, uh, what was the Daryl's Sabara? Yeah. As a Junie. They were the main, you know, the main two spot. They were the main two spot kids.

[00:27:13] Uh, there was other spot kids in the second one. And I think they made a brief cameo. Um, but everybody made a cameo in the third movie. Yes. The fourth movie though, is when it was. So the first three movies all came out around the same time. And then the fourth movie came out. A decade later. Yeah. Many years. It was like 20 something. 2011. I want to say. Yeah. 2011.

[00:27:42] So there's definitely quite a bit. And at this point, you know, Alexa Vega and, uh, where, and, um, I can't remember his name. Daryl Sabra. Daryl Sabra. They both like, they were no longer kids. So it was kind of hard to be. We saw them grow up. And then. They had very charming cameos in the fourth movie, I will say. Which, and it was really sweet to see all the cameos.

[00:28:08] Cause even, um, I believe one of the other main characters also came back for a quick cameo. I'm brain fronting on the name. Um, the uncle. Who's actually the. Oh yeah. Uh, Danny, Danny trio. But he, he's in like basically every, uh, Rodriguez film. Yeah. But he did have. It shows that like, there's a lot of passion in these movies and like, they all just genuinely care. Because I think at that point, both of them weren't really.

[00:28:37] I don't know how much acting they were doing or if they had moved on to other projects, but it was definitely a passion project for them to come back for that fourth one. And we're also going to talk about another movie, but we'll save that for the end. We also. We'll also preface. We did not watch the fifth spike kids movie on Netflix. The. Armageddon. And I think it's called just because by the, we watched these all on new years and we were very, I was drinking. Alex was tired. Um, yeah.

[00:29:05] By the, by the, after the fourth, after the fourth one, it was very much like I've seen enough. And like, I don't, that other one is a complete reboot. So I didn't want, I didn't even care. Yeah. I think we were, I think it was okay. No, we didn't. We can always, you know, if we want, we can always go back into it, but I think we were fine. Yeah. It's really funny though, because the first movie is very simple in hindsight. Like it's basically just save the world kind of plot. Yeah. We'll save your family, save the world.

[00:29:35] And it's also interesting because at first, like they weren't immediately going to like save their family. Like they were sent to like this little, um, safe house and then boom, the people that they think are good are actually working for the bad guys. So they have to, they were kind of, they didn't really have a choice. They kind of had to go and had to help save their parents because no one else was going to at that point. Um, which was good.

[00:30:02] And I will say the chemistry between, uh, Alexa and, um, the main, the siblings is like so great. Um, cause I mean, like. I forgot how incompetent Juni was in, he's incompetent in every fucking film, but he is like. But then the best part is like, he becomes like the, the S rank, uh, spy kid. And like, but you're just like, how this kid sucks. Like even in like the fourth film, they make a joke about how much he kind of sucks.

[00:30:32] Um, the first movie though, he is the most, he, the, the first movie really highlights the fact that these are kids because like he, Judy is so much like he's clearly like eight or like seven, whatever, how old he was. And he is so incompetent at everything in like an endearing way. Oh, it was really cute. Like it was, it was pretty adorable. It was, it was basically our relationship as, as kids only reversed. Yeah. No, that was pretty fun. Hey, I was competent.

[00:31:02] At something. You take that back. Take that back or I'll squeeze the stress ball into the mic. We were both confident and incompetent at specific things, but we were both also dumb children. Yes. So I'll accept that. I'll accept that. Also the, the main villain, Dr. Minion. I love the names. They're so fucking dumb. Um, I love the, his, his like transformation at the end where he just becomes this like abomination with like 12 hands and like seven heads.

[00:31:33] Oh my, like the three face, the face is coming out. Yeah. He's got like, he's got like three heads coming out of his face and then he's got like multiple hands and he just is like this abomination. And they, they, they have the ability. I can't unsee this. Uh, why does that kind of look like Joe Gatto from Impractical Jokers? Why in that image? I just sent you it in discord. Um, why does he kind of look like Joe?

[00:32:02] In that picture, he looks like Joe. Are you trying to? Yeah. But he has like his main face and then the face is coming out of it. I love how they create that, that look though, because like, they literally just like shove a bunch of faces together out of clay and then fuse into it. Well, and I also, I have a bigger appreciation for this, uh, now, but, um, I started watching, have you ever heard of the show face off? Maybe. Maybe.

[00:32:30] It's basically the, uh, it's a cop, it's like project runway, but instead of clothes, it's actually like the special effects makeup. So whenever I see stuff like this, I now have a bigger appreciation for it. Just seeing how much fricking work and stuff goes into that. But this looks fricking sick. I mean, for the time, like, this is. It was mostly this movie was cool too. Cause it's mostly practical effects.

[00:32:55] Like I think the most fantastical it gets is like when they're in like floops, little dream world. Um, yeah, but even then all the actors, those are all prosthetics. Like those are all like, um, those are all special effects makeup. Well, Robert Rodriguez was always like a low budget kind of guy. He was, he was very good at make getting a lot out of less. Yes. There is definitely all the budgets on these are pretty low, but they definitely look great. A lot of the budget in these is in the actors. I'm assuming.

[00:33:24] Cause they got George Clooney for like the shortest role, like where he's the president of the spy corporation and the whole gimmicky has is very, he's got this like black mask over his face. Like a sensor bar over his eyes. Yeah. But then he just takes it off. Like, like what's the point? Oh, like, but that's the stuff that's so charming about it. And what's like, so stupid, like, oh, so good.

[00:33:48] I also love at the end of the first one, like the little twist of that, like, they get a call from George Clooney and he, and they're like, the parents are like, all right, when are we needed? And he's like, no, I don't fucking talk to you. I'm talking to the kids. I want this by kids. I love how we don't even call him the, the, who we supposed to play. He's just George Clooney because that's just pretty, that's par for the course with George Clooney in most movies. But, but I guess like for the first one, you would definitely say the first one is the best one. Oh yeah.

[00:34:17] It's the most fun one out of all of them. I will say though, like, we also forgot to talk about the thumb people. Oh, the thumb monstrosity. Those were all CG. Those were all CGI. Yeah. Also, it is very funny that in the later, what's it called? The later movies, they just have one as like a little minion in their house, like doing the cooking and stuff. Yeah. He's funny. They, okay.

[00:34:42] One thing I will say, I really enjoy about these movies, at least the first three, they have a really good sense of continuity. Like they call back, like there'll be an event that happens at the end of each one and they will call back to it in like the following films. Like things will be referenced. Like the fourth one where they kind of forgot the fourth one. They, uh, we'll get to that.

[00:35:07] Um, but yeah, like the first movie it's the safest one. It's not a good movie. Like I won't say this is high, high art by any means, but no Academy award winning Oscar nominee. This is, this is not that kind of movie. Is it a fun movie? Yes. Uh, as a dumb little goofy film. That's like slightly trash. Yes. It's that good kind of movie.

[00:35:36] That being said though, the second movie, I don't know. This one, I think is my least favorite of the trilogy. The original three. Um, well, the plot just also just seemed was kind of dumb. Um, they do the, they do the class place. Like, yeah, they do the classic. Um, so they, they, they're winners at the end. Like the first movie ties off very well.

[00:36:06] Like that. It really didn't need to have a sequel. But that being, well, that being said though, then they go to the next one. And then, so now it's like, oh yeah, by the way, the spies, I'll go to like spy school. And like, it's like this whole like association. Yeah. Like the spy kids school of training center. Um, after, you know, after the success of, uh, Junie and, uh, Carmen. Yeah. And the thing, the thing that's very interesting is like, so they, the movie kind of starts off where you think, oh, it's okay.

[00:36:35] They're all like competent now. And they're like really good. And then we get the classic plotting device of like, well, they have to have their conflicts. So we bring in another set of spy kids who are the children of the director or one of the main directors of the spy, which is like, huh? Nepotism. I see. Um, and they was played by, um, what was her name? Uh, I know she, she was in Hannah Montana. Yeah. Hannah Montana's friend, um, the blonde girl.

[00:37:05] Um, I forget right now. I can't remember. We're not, if you couldn't tell, we're not like huge actor and actresses fans. Like we, we, we don't really know anyone. Uh, well, yeah. What was her name? Well, cause they had the, they had the, the, that family had the, the, the, the, the, the goofiest names. They were the giggles. They were the giggles. Um, yeah. So the, the, the, the male one was Gary giggle, Emily Osment. That's her name. Ah, yes. Yes.

[00:37:34] She was Gertie giggles and she can fly with her hair. Helicopter hair. Makes sense. No, it doesn't make sense at all. They only use it. And then also, um, the pretty reckless. She was also in this movie. Yes, she was. Um, the funniest part is she's actually billed higher than Emily Osment, which is really funny. Um, because she plays the president's daughter, um, who is the, the main, the beginning of the conflict.

[00:38:04] Cause she's this, um, she steals the thing because she wants attention from her dad and she steals this thing from him. And of course they have to go save her from this out of control ride, which was hilariously unsafe. And I kind of loved it for that. Yeah. Um, wasn't the name of the guy who ran the park, like, like Dinky or something? Yeah. It was like, it was definitely like Dinkies or something. Cause he comes back. Cause he's a game. It's a cowboy like themed like park, but the guy is like a legitimate cowboy.

[00:38:34] Dinky winks. Dinky winks. Dinky winks. Played by Bill Paxton. Of all people. Um, yeah, but they, they end up rescuing the president's daughter who is played by Taylor Momsen. And now it is of the pretty reckless. And when I, what I noticed her right away and I was like, I know that actress. I'm like, it's Cindy Lou who make me want to die. Like, yes. Also in for other movie shows that they, that she was also a pretty, no, not pretty little like gossip girl.

[00:39:04] She was also a gossip girl before she decided she wanted to be a singer of an alt metal band. Yeah. Which I much prefer her doing these days. So that being said though, yeah, the plot starts off where there's this obvious conflict. And then like the, the court Antonio Banderas, his character. I don't remember his name. I just know he's Antonio Banderas. Uh, he's up for being the leader of the, uh, the spy corporation, but of course it goes

[00:39:33] to Mike judge Mr. Giggles, Mr. Giggles played by Mike judge. Um, and of course then like this whole like conflict happens and Junie somehow screws it up because Junie is incompetent. Um, like there's a common theme where Junie's just. Junie sucks. He does. And he basically gets himself fired from the spy corps. And then. Yes. Immediately gets. Like what's it called? He gets put on like, I forget. It is.

[00:40:03] He gets straight up to like fired. Like he was basically like out. Um, and then like, of course they do some, there's like this whole like plot about this like mystic Island that they have to visit and they end up hacking, hacking him back. And that's where they started losing me. Like the Island and stuff. Like I was just like, okay, what the fuck is happening now? Well, what I found interesting. Yeah. What I found interesting was Carmen. It wasn't that into it in the first movie. And then now she's just fucking like the best spy.

[00:40:34] It's like, okay, sure. Also. Well, also like Carmen, like, I feel like they kind of wrote Carmen's character bad because like, Oh, the, the, they, they, because they, it was the early two thousands. Alex girls liked the hot teen boy. Well, it was disappointing in terms of like Carmen's and Junie's relationship as brother and sister. And like where she, rather than like taking her brother side, like immediately took this little twerp side.

[00:41:03] The hot teen boy. Yeah. Oh, it's just early two thousands. Alex nowadays. Yes. It's, it's, it's aged horribly, but in the early two thousands, that was so common. Yeah. Yeah. But this whole time she's like, no, he would never do anything. And even though he's so obviously evil, not really evil, just a dick. Yeah. Just a jerk. Also bad boy. That's what they call them. Also like shit later. They both do. Him and his sister point.

[00:41:35] Well, yeah. Cause they get sent off on a different mission because Carmen basically hijacks their entire thing. Yeah. And what's great is this movie has as much as I don't think this movie is written very well. It has some very memorable quotes. Like I always remember the famous line of Danny trio being like, look, I got you the new spy watch. It does everything except tell time. There was no room for the clock. Like, like great. Uh, this one also though has some pretty egregious CGI.

[00:42:06] Well, you didn't like Ralph? No, I didn't like, I didn't like Ralph, but I was like, there was that one scene where both of us were like, uh, when they're fighting the skeletons. Oh yeah. And it just looked fucking horrible. It was awful. The windows vista skeletons. Yes. Oh, that was fucking terrible. Uh, oh, I'm out of focus again. Oh, well. It'll go back eventually.

[00:42:34] Um, yeah, the whole thing like, cause there's, there's a whole plot about the island that they're going to has this weird, like our device. It was so insignificant to the plot that I didn't even care. That's the thing. Like, I didn't even know why they went to the island, but it had to do with the world domination. Well, world domination in the guy who got elected, Mr. Giggles. It was his device. Yeah. Cause he's just evil in this movie for no reason.

[00:43:00] Cause while the kids are on their way there, uh, their parents are also like, this Mr. Giggles tells them that their kids have gone and then they leave. And then suddenly their grandparents show up as well. And they also want to go. And the grandparents hate the dad. And it was like, there was a lot going on. It was like, this wasn't needed. It was the classic, the parents of the mother hate the in-law and they're just like shitting on him the entire, like she takes it. She steals his mustache. She stole Antonio Banderas' mustache.

[00:43:31] Yeah. Also we'll get. Also we'll get. Some of the hate, like towards him. Like I was just like, there wasn't, like you didn't know them enough to be like, oh my God, why do they hate this guy so much? Like. This is the most. It doesn't seem like he's done anything. It is the most early two thousands movie ever. Like there is so many tropes that are like, this wouldn't even be used nowadays. This is such an early two thousands like trope. Yeah. It was like going back. It's like, it was like, there's so much going on and I feel like none of it really gets

[00:44:00] like a good, like, like it just got all right. My favorite part about this movie was not the villain. Cause the villain was Mike judge and it was so lame. Yeah. Which is saying something cause I love Mike judge, but just the fact that he just becomes a villain for no reason. Yeah. But, um, the, my favorite character in this, the next movie. Well, we'll get to that. Cause I love, I love how they handled him the next movie.

[00:44:28] But, um, my favorite character was the scientist on the island who was played by Steve Buscemi. And I just fucking loved it. Steve Buscemi. Like that's the funniest part. The fact that they have so many fucking good actors in these movies. Yeah. I just love. Shit rolls. Oh yeah. And I just love Steve Buscemi's character. Cause he's like this, like hermit, like on like this island. He's like, ah, I made these tiny little hybrid creatures and they're just my pets, but I accidentally made them huge.

[00:44:57] And I love the scene where he actually makes the one too big and he's like, oh no. And then he accidentally spills the entire vial into the fucking all of them. Yeah. Um, well, and like, it's funny how he's like, he's hiding away from them the whole time. And they all just secretly like love him and want him to be friends. Yeah. Cause he's all like, he's scared that you're gonna kill him. He's all terrified when he goes out and he's like, he's like, oh no. He's like, and then they're just like, nah, bro, you're daddy. We love you.

[00:45:28] Yes, they are. Um, yeah, but of course, eventually the other spy kids show up on this island and then they have this whole, like, basically like everything just goes wrong for everybody. Mm-hmm. And then like the, the ending, the one thing that I thought was like annoying too, was like they hype up the, the uncle who isn't actually the uncle. He's just a guy who pretended to be their uncle, but he's played by Cheech Martin. So. Yes. Cheech Marin. Oh yeah. He betrays them. Yeah. He betrays them right at the end.

[00:45:56] And they're like, they're like, but you're our uncle. He's like, I'm not your uncle, which we'll get to that in the next film. But yeah, and it's like the whole ending, but then it's just like surprise. And then they just like the, obviously that the, the, the, the, the, the, the guy's kids betray him because they realize he's obviously evil. Yeah. And then everything gets saved. We're going to tell mom. Oh, did grandma and grandpa do anything? No, they were just there for comic. Okay. Like, okay, good. Because I was like, I don't remember them doing anything at all.

[00:46:26] The only thing they did besides, besides dump on Antonio Banderas, the entire movie was there's the point where Carmen and Junie take out the tracking chips out of their teeth. Oh yeah. Yeah. And the grandpa was like, comically large teeth. Oh yeah. And then the grandpa's like, he's like, does Judy still have that necklace? I gave him. And it was just, I don't think he really cared about Judy that much. I think he just was like, I wanted to one up Antonio Banderas. I want my necklace.

[00:46:54] No, he just wanted to one up Antonio Banderas. Yeah. He's like, I know where the kids are. As long as they're together. If they're not together, then fuck. Yes. Um, so. Wait, no, we, you can't move on to the next movie without talking about the credit scene. Well, I was going to get to that. Cause I was going to also mention like right at the end where, you know, the day gets saved and like Mike judge gets demoted. Uh, Antonio Banderas becomes the head of spy core.

[00:47:24] Yeah. And then Junie gets promoted to like this, the thing that he wanted the whole time, like level one. And then he immediately quits and says, I'm going independent. I'm going. So yeah. And it's like, cool. Junie. No one cares. Uh, we'll see you next movie. But during the credits, there's this entire like scene where basically they just wanted to get Alex Vega to sing and dance. So they can make a single. Um, she does this song. It's on Spotify.

[00:47:51] If you're wondering, it's, it's so cheesy. It's a great song. What are you talking about? But it's, she has this like device that's, it's like a thing that a Danny trio machete gives her. And it's like, ah, it's so she can sing and dance and won't have to worry about it. And when here, Junie, here's this magic guitar that will just make you good at guitar. Um, and then the whole joke is after the dance number, they're like, I forgot to turn on the thing. I forgot the batteries or something.

[00:48:19] Well, the funniest part too, is like, like, I'm sure that, uh, Alexa Vega actually had to like take classes to sing and dance in a freezer in that. Uh, Junie. I've already freaking Daryl. Like, like, where he probably just was Eric. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. He just went so hard and he probably just was like, ew, what the fuck ever. I'm here. Well, look. Just jumping around the stage.

[00:48:45] Daryl Saburo does a very good job, but he's such a dork in these movies that I don't think anyone really wanted to see him look cool. He, I mean, but that's part of his character. He is a dork. Oh yeah. And speaking of that, let's go to Spy Kids 3D or three, whatever you want to call it. They actually changed the thing in the movie to three when you're not watching the 3D version, which is kind of funny. Well, on, we, where did we watch it on? We watched it on. Uh, HBO Max or was it Paramount? I think it was HBO Max.

[00:49:14] It might've just been they edited it for that, but. Well, no, no, no, that we had the DVD. The DVD was like that too. Oh, it was okay. Cause they took it. They edit out all the glasses on scenes. Yep. Fun fact. We saw this in the theater and it looked like shit. Yes. Oh yeah. It's one thing to preference in the beginning. All of the 3D gimmicks are probably the most hammy, not no zero effort, 3D gimmicks.

[00:49:43] Like if you had something fall on the screen, it was fallen on the screen. It was like how they did Jackass 3D. And it was like such obvious like bait for 3D. Like 3D was the hip new thing. We had to try it on everything. We got to shoehorn it in every inch of the movie. Any chance we get to throw something at the screen, we will do it. Which in watching the movie in non-3D is hilarious. Um, but. Cause it just looks like shit.

[00:50:10] I mean the whole movie, this movie is the most blatant with the CG. We'll say. Oh yeah. Well, I mean, it takes place in a video game world. So it, but it kind of also gets more away with it because it is taking place in this different world. So it's not, uh, but it was like looking at like in the credits, it showed like these background, like the scenes of them and how the whole movie was basically shot on green screens. Yes. Which was pretty on par for the time.

[00:50:38] Cause Star Wars episode three was basically all green screen as well. So. Yeah. Also, I got a point. The intro of this movie, that little girl who hired Junie, Junie is a private investigator. And that little girl who hired Junie is a fucking dumb ass. I'm sorry. Her parents own a water park and it's winter time. Where's the water? Alex, you, you, you thought too, too hard in this. I don't think her parents owned the water park. I think she was just a kid that thought she owned a water park. Oh my God.

[00:51:07] Like, I don't think it was even that deep. I think this was just some random girl. He was scamming that child. He scammed the girl. He is a scammer. He scammed her. Well, no, my favorite part too, is like, especially the payoff to that where like the whole time he's working as a private eye to make money to buy a video game. Cause of course he is. And there's a whole scene where like, he's at this water park closed for the winter. And the girls like, can you tell me who stole the water from my water park?

[00:51:36] He's like, well, it's obvious. The water park is closed because it's winter. And she's like, who would do that? And she, he's like the people that actually own this water park. Junie is a scammer. That's how the beginning, the beginning of the movie. And you know what? He gets his justice because he goes to buy that video game and then he's tempted to do something nice for the poor. And then he gets back in line. He drops his piggy bank and all his money falls out. So fuck you, Junie. You scammer. All the people in the line had piggy banks.

[00:52:06] Like, and I'm just like sitting here thinking like, who the fuck brings the whole piggy bank? Take the money out of it before you go to the store. Like who does this? I don't know. It was a movie. Also, I love the fact that his, this movie was not realistic either. Cause when he trips and breaks his piggy bank and all the money flies out. No one in the. Yeah. Or the little kid would be like money. Like he doesn't even attempt to catch any of it, but then like also like everyone else just stays in line.

[00:52:35] It doesn't even acknowledge it. And I'm just like, this is not real. If this was real life, all these people like savages would be going after her and be like money. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, but he deserves it because he was a scammer. He scammed that girl. Well, I just, I hate the fact that like, he's about to be nice and give it to charity. And then like, he immediately. Well, no, he, here's the little guy doing the ad for the game being all like untold riches. Oh, wait, not the little guy, Bill. No, I said the guy.

[00:53:03] Not Sylvester Stallone. We'll get there. Cause he's in this fucking movie. We'll get there because there's a. That's his first appearance. Well, that's his voice. No, his face was there too. Was it? Yeah. I don't remember. I wasn't paying attention. He was in advertisements on the screen. Yeah. You've made me pull out the sticky shoes. Lovely. Um, yeah, but yeah.

[00:53:31] So this whole like thing is like, he ends up getting a call from the spy corp who, um, they're either like, you're the best by ever. And he's like, no, I'm never coming back. And he's all of a sudden, they're all of a sudden, like, wait, wait, Judy, your sister's gone, which I am convinced that Alex Vega's contract. She only had like a tiny, like a clause that she could only do so much of this film because she's like only in like the last, like 20 minutes on different projects and stuff. That's what I'm, cause she was getting older by that point. So.

[00:54:01] Yeah. Cause like this movie is mostly Junie throughout it. Um, It's very Junie centric, Junie fucking up centric. Uh, I also love like when they get, he gets back to spy core, uh, Mike judges once again, back to his role and they make a joke like, Oh, you're not trying to cut us take over the world again. And he's like, no, no, no. Uh, my, my wife got mad at me. And we see his wife who is, um, a bad bitch. That's all I will say.

[00:54:30] Um, they gave her the pigtails genetic. They're genetic. They're genetic. They had, it was a, it was a classic case of like, they hired two kid actors and then they hired their parents after. And they're like, these parents look nothing like the children. So like give the mom pigtails like the daughter. Cause that's totally how genetics work. Yes. Um, yeah, but she's, she basically he's whipped now by a, his, uh, much more attractive wife. Yes. But basically like what's going on is that they, what Junie finds out is that the video

[00:54:59] game is not what it seems and that it's actually a trap and it's going to basically trap all the minds of all the kids who play it and buy it. And they basically have to. This is straight up a Yu-Gi-Oh plot. Like there is a straight up Yu-Gi-Oh arc that is this. Oh, is this like the tune, the tune world? No. When they, they go into the, the, the Kaiba made the dual monsters video game MMO and they all get trapped in it. Oh yeah. Straight up a Yu-Gi-Oh episode.

[00:55:28] But his sister Carmen already went in the game, but she went missing in the game. So they need to, he needs to go find her. And basically the game only has five levels and the fifth level is technically unbeatable. It's where you basically get trapped. So they have to shut down the game. Uh, cause the toy maker is the villain and he's played by Sylvester Stallone. Yes. And he had way too much fun in this role. Oh, I guarantee you most of this movie's budget was to pay Sylvester Stallone.

[00:55:57] Uh, and also the five minutes of, uh, what was his name? Uh, he was in it. He plays. Oh, are we talking about the guy? Yes. The guy. We'll get to, we'll get to that later. Cause it's, it's kind of plot important. Um, but one thing I will. So he goes into the video game world. And one thing I just gotta point out when they're in the video game world, these are the fucking ugliest, cheapest costumes.

[00:56:26] Like they put no effort into any of these. They're just TV outfits. Alex, the budget went into paying for Sylvester Stallone. Yeah. Yeah. Clearly like Alexa and, um, well, Carmen and, uh, Junie have pretty cool outfits. Uh, but everyone else is just in like these ATV. Like I'm, I'm, I swear that they are just like ATV outfits. Motocross. It's motocross outfits. Yeah. Or a paintball outfits basically.

[00:56:56] It's literally just that. What's hilarious though, is, um, the whole time. Like, so Junie gets into the game and the game is the most generic video game shit ever. Like it's like this MMO kind of, but like not at the same time. And he runs into other players and accurately enough. No, no, they're beta testers.

[00:57:19] Well, he runs into beta testers, but what's hilarious is like any real gamer, they fucking suck. They are the most asshole, biggest a-holes in the game. Like they go out of their way to fuck Junie over. Yeah. At every turn. And also I love the fact that they don't give a shit that Junie's in the spies. They're like, yeah, we don't care. Yeah. Go away. Well, they don't believe him. They only actually believe him when they eventually meet up outside of the game.

[00:57:48] Well, yeah, at the end of the game, they're like, what? He was telling the truth. But I love the fact that like the whole time there, there's actually a really great joke about them like later on that I love. But like, there's like three of them. And one is very smart. One of them is super like cool and the other is like super tough. Save that. Keep that in your mind for later. Yes. But yeah, Junie has to go through all these weird like different places. Well, he's just kind of bumbling. So like they immediately trick him and he ends up on the moon of the world.

[00:58:17] And he ends up like fighting in giant mech suits. Well, we're forgetting the most my my the most infuriating part of the film. Oh, before. Before or after? Yeah, it happens right before. So right before he goes to the mech thing, he gets some Mike Judge calls him and is basically like, hey, he's like, we can only help you one more time before we're going to get permanently locked out. We can let you bring in one helper.

[00:58:45] So Junie can choose anybody in his family other than Carmen for obvious reasons. And he decides I'm going to bring in my disabled grandfather. Who's in a wheelchair. And I'm like, it's like, okay, Junie. And it's like his grandfather's in here. And what we don't know at the time is his grandfather has history with the toy makers. The toy maker was the one that crippled him. So suddenly, like the toy maker.

[00:59:13] If the toy maker is the one that crippled him, he maybe just was a fucking shitty spy. The toy maker is not that great. Well, also, like the whole time to like the toy makers, like actually, like trying to be a nice guy throughout the thing. Like he on my favorite. He I think he's a little insane because he's talking to these three projections, which are just him. It's just it's just it's just it's Sylvester Stallone. And one is a scientist. What is like this like tough guy?

[00:59:42] And then the other is a hippie, which I think might have been just Sylvester Stallone. I honestly think Sylvester Stallone was just like, you know what? I have a bunch of kids. I'm going to do a funny kids movie for them. And I'm just going to have a good time. I think that's the only reason he's in this movie. Probably, but like the whole time, like he brings his grandfather back and then like Sylvester Stallone sends out this power upgrade, which gives it basically gives the grandfather this like power suit so we can walk again.

[01:00:12] And literally the second he gets the power suit. And the power suit is like all CGI. Oh, yeah, it's it's ridiculous looking. It looks awful. Like if you thought Green Lantern looked bad. Oh, that being said, though, like the second he gets the power up, you know, you think, oh, cool. He's going to help Junie. No, he just fucks off. Like he just fucks off and leaves Junie there. And I'm like, he's just like, all right, well, this was a fucking waste of time. I got to go figure out. And then he fights in the Mecca.

[01:00:41] And then but he ends up fighting against this girl. And I just got to put this out there. I felt so bad for this girl. Why did they make her hair look so greasy and gross? Her hair looked so nasty. I'm like, what did they do to her? That girl was probably like 11. And I looked through these the actors credits for all the kids in the game and none of them did anything after this movie. So I'm assuming they got some random girl and that's just something to her hair.

[01:01:11] Like she was in. It just looked frickin awful. Like, I just I just thought it was a 12 year old movie. No, no, they did something to her hair to make it look like that kids hair just doesn't look like that unless like you don't wash it at all. And it's not like it wasn't like they they styled it. Oh, the poor thing. Either way, like Junie is a little like immediately goes. Wow. I love her. Yeah.

[01:01:40] Junie has a love interest in every fucking movie, by the way. Junie is a player in a scam artist. Did he have one in the first movie? I don't think he did in the first movie because he was the first movie. He was still fetal. So child. But yeah, like it was just the two. Yeah. He ends up beating her there, though, and then he gets to keep the power suit. So he looks kind of cool now.

[01:02:06] Well, and he kind of looks like the guy on the poster, which they dub the guy. And they're just like, they're like, he's the guy. Totally. They're like, well, if you're the guy, Junie, then you're going to have to beat us in this race. The race scene is pretty cool. I remember that used to always be my favorite part of the movie as a kid. And the cart designs were pretty neat and stuff. But I love the fact, though, that like they immediately competent.

[01:02:31] He falls for so like they're in the race and like one of the beta testers is all like, hey, push that button right there. And he's like, what the one that says do not press. He's like, yeah, it's a speed boost. So, of course, Junie presses and it causes his car to self-destruct. Yeah. This is after two. He wrecked the girl again because he keeps screwing her over throughout this. Yeah. But. But she also picks a fucking terrible.

[01:03:01] Why would she pick the unicycle bike out of all the bikes? Why did she pick that one? Junie had the coolest one at first and then that gets wrecked. Yeah, he loses it immediately. Yeah. And then he just has to jump from car to car. And then the grandpa's there and he's like, get another car, Judy. I'm not going to actually help you. I'm going to go fuck off more. I'm going to go drive my wheelchair car. I thought it was really fucked up. They made his car like a wheelchair.

[01:03:28] Oh, I found an image of him with his butterfly. That's literally all he does. He just chases fucking by. It says like metaphors. And then like, so Junie ends up winning the race because unicycle girl somehow gets this fucking death machine at the end. Yeah. And he ends up winning the race by sliding on a hubcap. Yep. Also, they have lives and like there's a whole gimmick is like once you run out of lives, the game's over. But Junie like somehow loses like 12 lives before he even gets here. He sucks.

[01:03:58] Um, and then like the next thing. Well, the girl ends up, uh, Demetra ends up joining them after. But what I love is they're like, they're like, okay, Junie, you did this. So we'll think you're the guy now. Where do we go? Yeah. And there's a great scene where like, he's like, guys, I have to go talk to my grand grandpa. And they're like, what? He's like, oh, I mean the wizard. The wizard sage.

[01:04:21] Also, like this whole time he, I mean, I think he tried to tell him he was a spy, but then he just kind of gave up and they're just kind of following him. And they think he's trying to beat the game, but in fact, he's trying to end the game. So that actually becomes a plot point in the end of like, they're, they get pissed. They're like, why are you fucking ending the game? But then we get this like weird, like scene with like one of the, one of the guys, like the, the other players is like, he's the quiet one that we thought was Taylor. Lotner for a minute. I will be in later.

[01:04:51] Um, he's all like, yeah, I'm doing this for my family because my family is poor. Um, and Judy's like, someone he somehow knew, which I don't remember how he knew them, but apparently they knew each other unknown now, but just go with it. They knew each other before this, but Junie doesn't have the heart to tell him. There is no prize. Um, so they get to the next level, which is like, this, this is bullshit. If this wasn't an actual fucking game, by the way, but the next level is a fucking fight to the death.

[01:05:20] And only one player can move on. Oh, but don't forget though. Before that they're wandering all through the area and they, and Junie stumbles upon a life pack that gives them 10 extra. And what does he do? He gives it to Demetra who guess what? Demetra's not even a real fucking person. So he just wasted those fucking lives. Yeah. I hate that too. Cause they're like, that's super rare. And it's like, Junie's at like four lives by this point, by the way. Hey girl.

[01:05:48] Hey, I'm a scammer, but I want to be your boyfriend. I just met you and I already love you. Like, like what the fuck? Um, Junie, you player, you scammer. Yeah. But here's the best part. Like they get in this battle to death and they pick Junie and the other guy, the, the, the, the tough guy. Um, and the tough guy just beats the shit. Completely incompetent. Yeah. Junie.

[01:06:12] He gets knocked down to like three lives and then he gets, um, immediately subbed in for No. He gets knocked down to like 0.5. Oh yeah. He gets knocked down to 0.5. Which also that's, that's fucking cheap. I'm sorry. Like there's no 0.5 live. Like. Yeah. Either as a kid, I was confused. Cause I thought his life counter reset for some reason. Cause I didn't see the point at the time. Um.

[01:06:40] And then Demetra ends up subbing in for him and she gets one shot it. Like, I'm sorry, but like fucking Junie dumb ass fuck has been like hit the same attack like eight times and she loses all her lives in one hit. I think that was supposed to be a really heartwarming moment. But as when, when you're an adult, you're just like this stupid on so many levels. I don't know. I think even as a kid, I was like, this is kind of dumb. Yeah. Um. Anyways, so then they get finally to the next level.

[01:07:10] And then. Uh, this is where. Oh yeah. Junie also runs into like the, the, the programmers for the game. Uh, cause he, he was been cheating cause Demetra gives him a map of the game, which is illegal. Um, and the, the, the, the fucking programmers show up and they're all like, we're going to have to bounce you back to level one. And then they immediately get defeated by the grandfather because he decides to actually give a shit for once. Yep. And to actually do something to help.

[01:07:40] Yeah. And then they're like, let's see what they really look like. And it's like, Oh, computer nerds. Uh, and then this is also, I forget how, but Alexa. No. The, the, the, during this whole time, like when, uh, Junie gets the life back, that was from the toy maker. And then the toy maker is like, all right, this kid fucking sucks. Here's his sister back. He literally says, he's like, I gave him his grandfather. I gave him the life thing. I gave him his sister back. What more should I do? This kid sucks.

[01:08:10] Um, but he ends up returning the sister. Um, who also her costume as a design flaw because there's no number on it. There's no number spot for the lives. So she's so yeah, but she's also just so much fucking better than everybody else in the game. That is also true. Cause I love the fact that she's got, she has this giant claw and the whole time I was like the claw. The claw. Cause anytime it was on screen, it looked hideous, but I kind of loved it for that. Yes.

[01:08:40] Um, and I love the fact too, cause like she shows up and like the nerds are all like the other players are all like, he's in charge now. The pretty girl. Let's follow her. Cause she's a bad bitch. Yeah. And then they end up like, she's just like, why are these fucking idiots following us? And Junie's like, I don't know. They think I'm cool. There's a great, also the part where Dimitra, where she's like, who's this? And she's like, I'm Dimitra. Cause Dimitra. Oh yeah. Dimitra just comes back. Um, randomly.

[01:09:09] And then, um, Carmen's like, who's this? And she's like, I'm Junie's girlfriend. And it's like, bitch, you met like an hour ago. No, stop it. You're 12. Yeah. It was bizarre, but, um, they ended up finding out, oh yeah, she's actually not real. She's the deceiver. Yes. But they don't know that yet because at one point they think, cause they're, they go through, they actually have this.

[01:09:36] It would be cool if it looked good, but seeing where they're surfing on lava, which then it turns out that the lava isn't hot because the toy maker's like, all right, these kids suck. I gotta get them where they need to go. Um, also that reference where they were like lava, it's in every video game. And they're like, well, there wasn't lava and like halo or something like they mentioned like halo and like, uh, like one other video game. I forget what it was called. Yeah. But, um, I'm just like, wow, that's dated. Um, I forgot that. Yeah.

[01:10:06] But then they get to the, they finally get to the door that leads to the next level. Oh, and then that's kind of where the conflict comes in where they're like, before that though, we have to talk about right before they get to the lava part. Like Junie's like, okay guys, what's the game plan? And then like, everyone just kind of fucks off. And like the grant he's like, okay, grandpa, we can do this. And the grandpa's just tiptoeing away. Like he doesn't even want to be part of this. Like, why is he such an asshole?

[01:10:34] He was just doing whatever the fuck he wanted. He didn't care. Pretty much. Like he was just fucking around the whole time. Um, but yeah, they eventually get to this door and like, they're all like, all right, Junie, you're, you're obviously the guy. Although at one point they're like, no, Junie's totally the deceiver. Now let's get, let's fucking get him. Well, but then the guy appears. Yeah. And he's like, he's not the guy I am. And it's fucking, um, it's fucking, uh, Elijah would.

[01:11:01] And he gets one shotted and he loses all 99 of his lives in a second. Yeah. And he literally like, they go, okay, Junie, you're the guy again. And it's just like, which I'm sorry. But it's so fucking stupid. Oh my God. Why did they even bring him? Like, what was the point? I don't know. Uh, but then they ended up facing off against the, the toy maker and the toy maker is like, you did it.

[01:11:29] I'm going to escape now. And they're just like, well, and they're like, Junie, you have to press the lever, not the lever right next to it. Cause this is a dumb design decision. The one on the right. It's like, you hit the one on the left. It frees the toy maker. And he's like, okay, grandpa, you do it. Yep. And, uh, he's like, yeah, my grandpa, who totally doesn't have a vendetta against this man is going to make the right choice. Yes, definitely. And guess what? Grandpa frees the fucking toy maker.

[01:11:58] So they end up going back to the main, the actual world as a video game. And guess what? All the toy makers fricking robot monkeys have been set free. Yeah. And then we get literally my favorite part though, is then we get central, every cameo from everybody that mattered in the series shows up like the, um, well, my favorite part too, is when they first, when, when. Sylvester Stallone reveals himself. It's hilarious because they first showed George Clooney.

[01:12:27] Um, and then his face morphs into Sylvester Stallone. So it's literally Sylvester Stallone. It's George Clooney playing the president who's secretly Sylvester Stallone. Yeah. Like what? Um, but yeah, then we get this whole fight scene where like, cause there was a moment early on where, uh, Gertie giggles is like, Judy, remember everybody's your family. Yeah. Um, Judy's like, bring in everyone.

[01:12:53] They literally bring in every person like floop shows up, uh, Mr. Minion, the robot children. Flying pig. Flying pig. Oh yeah. Yeah. Fucking, uh, Steve Buscemi and his flying pig. Oh yeah. Yeah. Uh, the, the, the cowboy. Uh, what was his name? What was his, what was his name? It was like, I don't remember. Why is it going to bother me now? Dinky winks. Dinky winks.

[01:13:22] Which that was a very cute scene though, just because of the fact that he comes back to which the fact that they brought the cowboy back. Um, yes. Like the owner of the theme park. I had no idea why. Obviously I probably just have bill Paxton back. He was probably just willing to do it. And they were like, woohoo. Yeah. But like one of my favorite is like, um, uh, it was a really cute scene because Dinky Winks is there and he's got his son, uh, Dinky Winks Jr. Who was actually played by bill Paxton's son, which was kind of cute. Yeah.

[01:13:52] That was really sweet. Uh, and honestly, all these fight scenes are, I mean, they're just like taking down the robots that no one can see without the glasses. You have to. So I forgot to tell you this during the movie, but you did realize who the water park girl was, right? Who? That was Selena Gomez. It was? Yeah. According to the Wikipedia. Huh? That was a very young Selena Gomez. Yeah. I was just thinking about that. I'm glad I noticed it after a while.

[01:14:22] Um, but yeah, the whole thing is like, also the scene that annoyed me was like when they're, uh, they're getting everybody in, um, like the. Dad like joins the fight and then like the fake uncle's like, well, I'm their uncle. And it's like last movie, bitch. You said you weren't like, yes. Make up your mind. Also there's the scene where, um, I forget his name, but, uh, Steve Buscemi, his character always had broken glasses. And then Alexa is like, oh, this is the last pair. And she gives him a broken pair of 3D glasses.

[01:14:51] And then two seconds later, she's given out more glasses. You lying bitch. They're both scam artists. They're both scammers. It's okay. Steve Buscemi didn't mind. He was like, they're perfect. Come on, porky. And then he flies off and he's flying big. They are scammers. Uh, but they're fighting all of them. But in the meantime, grandpa is having a heart to heart with the toy maker. After all of this bullshit, he's just like, you know what? Let's right our wrong. So let's just call it a day.

[01:15:19] And it's like, they beat all the robots and they basically were just like, you know what? We're going to be friends now. I'm like, he broke his fucking legs. Like what? Also, did you notice how like Gary Giggles was like getting the presidential medal of freedom before he got called in? Yes. Like you were a dickhead in the previous movie and suddenly you're getting the presidential medal? Okay, sure. Whatever. Yep. They pulled some strings. Just the whole movie is so fucking dumb. You know what? It's kind of funny.

[01:15:47] Like after recapping it, I'm like, I don't think two was worse. I don't know. They both kind of suck. No, no. Here's the thing. The difference is two is bad. Three is really bad, but three is so fucking quotable. Yeah. Like three? At least three has a solid plot. Two is just like, whatever. Here's the difference. Here's the difference. The only line in two that I remember is the line about the watch, how it doesn't have a clock, which is funny. Yeah.

[01:16:18] In three, I remember everything about this movie because there's like so many memorable moments. That's dumb shit. Oh, but we also didn't talk about the fact that they bring out the beta testers. And this was a good reference because this is a real thing that happens in video games. They show up and they're all the exact opposites of what they were in the game. Like the cool one wasn't cool at all. The strong one was weak as fuck. And the smart one wasn't smart. No, he was dumb. And it was like, it's like, oh, it's because you're in a video game. You make yourself the opposite of what you are. Yeah.

[01:16:49] Yeah. That's really how it just ends with grandpa being like, you know what? You broke my legs, but you're not too bad. Yeah. And the toy maker's like, I just want to be friends. I did love the fact though that like, when everybody shows up to join the fight, they all get like that text thing where it's like, it's like Mr. Cortez or whatever. Yeah. And it's just so dumb. I did. I will say though, it's bad, but I do kind of like it at the same time. No, I get it. I get it.

[01:17:18] Like it's, it's still garbage movie. They're, they're all garbage movies. Let's be really good. The first one had some redeemable qualities, but the remainder ones are just garbage. They're bad movies. Let's talk about the fourth one. Cause the fourth one is fascinating. Yeah. Well, the fourth one is, uh, from the beginning, you could just tell that there was no fucking budget. Well, there was a budget. It went to pay for Jessica Alba.

[01:17:48] Yes. That's where, yes. Cause Jessica Alba is the main spy mom. Oh, but also, okay. This movie, I will say does have one part, which I think was lacking in the other movies. Do you know what that was, Bill? What? Robot dog. Robot dog really added something to this movie. I will say. The dog is the best character of this movie. In the best part. I'm just gonna say it. He was.

[01:18:14] I, I also kind of like Joel, Joel McHale playing the dad of the family. Who's like a spy hunter. And he's just such a fucking goofball. He's the junior. He's the junior. Also like the little girl is a fucking shit. Like, like, yeah, I think we're just gonna say she's a bitch. So the whole step mom, the plot of this movie is essentially it's we start out with Jessica

[01:18:40] Alba's playing this spy character who is like an adult spy completely separate from everything. And she's also heavily pregnant. Yeah. And she's doing all this shit. Also, I will say the guy who was playing the main villain. Um, uh, what's his name? Uh, Jeremy Piven, I think was his name that the, the, the goofy tick tock like guy who was with the high pitch voice. That guy was having a fucking blast. This entire movie. Oh yeah.

[01:19:09] Honestly, I will say every person in this movie acted their heart out and had so much fun. Like that. Honestly, the least. Honestly, the person who looked like she was the having the least fun was probably Jessica Alba. Yeah. But even then I, she, I think she did. I don't think she didn't enjoy doing this. Like it seemed like she had fun. The scene where she's doing all the acrobatic shit. Well, like fucking heavily pregnant. I'm just like, what is this?

[01:19:37] Like that was just what an opening was just like, what the fuck? And then like, she has a, she finishes a spy job and she's like, oh, I went into labor. And then her husband gets there before with her stepkids and the kids are just like, what the fuck is wrong with this? Like, how did she get here after? Like they literally are just like, I knew it. Yeah. Because she's a spy, but they don't, she doesn't, her family has no idea. Yes.

[01:20:01] But of course, if you're a spy and you have children, they're going to get roped into it at some point as they have with the other movies. But it's like the whole thing is like, essentially she's retired now, but they're getting, she's getting brought back into it. Cause there's this weird, like time plot thing going on where like, she has a necklace that has a stone. And it just magically fixes it. Yeah. I don't know. This movie is very fan service-y in a lot of ways, but it does it kind of the bad way.

[01:20:29] When you say fan service, like to the Spy Kids fans? Yeah. Not. Okay. What's the fan service? That's not what I usually think of. But I guess. Yeah. The first half of the movie is Jessica Alba in tight leather. So, I mean, they obviously were trying to kill the stump. Yeah. But even later. Yeah. But later on, she's also in tight leather again. Yeah. Yeah. So. Yeah. No, there were like, cause there were some that, so basically, like, I think we should get into kind of, I think the plot of this isn't too deep.

[01:20:59] I mean, she ends up getting real back into spy business. And then the house gets attacked. Yeah. And the kids end up getting, you know, basically told about the spy business. They're in planes and one of them pukes. He's using puke to fight. He used his vomit to fight. Yeah. He threw the puke bags at people, which was kind of funny, but gross. And rather than having a fake uncle guide them through it, they have a robot dog and they're just like, my dog is talking.

[01:21:26] I will say though, the daughter is a shit. Like, I don't like her. Yeah. The son was awesome. He was a really good character. The son, the boy, the, whoever played him. Great. I hope he goes far because he was so fun and probably the best part of this movie. Well, he was like the opposite of like Junie where like, he was actually like, pop it. And he was like, he very much was like, yeah, it's dumb, but who cares? Like we can't change anything about it. Yeah.

[01:21:55] Um, so yeah, eventually they ended up getting sent back to like the spy core and Jessica Alva's character just happens to be related to the Cortez's. Yeah. So she's related. Her cousin is actually Carmen. And we get that really awesome scene where, where, uh, Alex Vega walks up, but she's all grown up now. And it was like, it's like, ah, she's back. But this is where they did fan service badly. Well, the fan service of having like Carmen show up was nice. It was like, cool.

[01:22:24] That was awesome. But then they show this rumor. It's like, it's like, look, here's all of the stuff from our previous like adventures. And at first you're kind of like, oh, that's cool. It's all things here. And then, and then you see the fucking suits from the video game. You're like, those weren't real. Like they didn't like they forgot. They must've just forgot the movie. Yeah. They just, it was fan service. It was very annoying. Well, I guess like for us, like, you know, if we had watched it when it came out, maybe

[01:22:51] it wouldn't bother us as much, but we had just watched the third movie where we knew that it was a video game item. They didn't get to keep it. So how the fuck do they have it? Yeah. There was all sorts of stuff from the video game too in there. And I'm just like, yeah, it makes total sense, but whatever. Yeah. And the kids get to pick two items that they'll use later on. But basically they end up having to chill in the command center and somehow I forget

[01:23:19] how, but they just end up having to go and like, well, the time, the time plot starts where everyone gets frozen, including the one cameo of Danny trio where he's just frozen and that he doesn't do anything. Um, and then of course, like basically they get, once everyone gets like kind of brought back, um, they're like, okay, we have to rescue the kids. Um, but don't worry guys. We brought in the perfect person for this. We have the number one spy and it's kind of like implying it's Carmen.

[01:23:47] And they're like, Juni Cortez. And Carmen's like, fuck you. Yeah. Cause they hate each other again for some reason. Yeah. Um, plot reasons. Yeah. But I've not, I will say like, it's mostly action. Like there's not a whole lot of substance here. The fucking plot resolution with the villain was stupidly deep for no reason. Yeah. Yeah. Cause it ended up that like, he like kept like going. The main villain was the head of the spy court.

[01:24:17] And it was like a, this weird convoluted plot where like, he was as a kid, he got frozen in time and he, when he finally got out, he was, he had missed most, most of his life. He lost his family and everything. So his entire goal is he's constantly trying to go back and like just to meet his dad. But because of how time works, it just never goes anywhere. Uh, you can't change the, can't change anything. Yeah. And. And he said, maybe after the fifth under try, he would change things, but it has. Yeah.

[01:24:46] Cause like, cause like it's showing that all of the minions are just other versions of him from failed attempts. And it's just, there's hundreds of them. And then eventually he ends up going through anyways. And then he comes back old and he's like, you guys were right. I can't change the past. But then that one psychotic minion is just like, yeah. Yeah. Basically just more.

[01:25:12] Also the whole reason why, like, so right away, like Jessica Alba, Carmen and Junie, I don't remember her name. So she's just Jessica Alba, but yeah, I think that's fine. They get frozen in time because of the time stop thing. Cause it affects everybody with a badge, but Carmen through Judy's badge away. Cause she's like, you don't deserve this. Yeah. So Judy's just like, I'm free. Yeah. It's such a, also my favorite.

[01:25:37] My favorite part was when, when, uh, when Daryl Savara shows up on screen, he had such a glow up that Alex didn't even recognize him. She's like, that's not the same guy. I'm like, Alex, that's him. But also like, I had to remember that. Like he was literally still pretty much child. Like, yeah. Uh, Alexa Vega had like, I think like kind of grown up a little bit. Girls also hit puberty first. So she. He had not hit puberty yet. Okay. So then, but he was also younger than Alexa Vega too. Um. Yeah.

[01:26:07] But yeah, I was like, that's not him. And I'm like, oh wait, it is him. Shit. Cause, and he's just as incompetent. Yes. Yes. That's part of the character. The thing with this movie though, like, cause there's a whole subplot with the dad, like ruins his entire career because like, he finds out the family is spies and they have like this weird drama for like three minutes. He eats some tape. He eats the tapes. Yeah. The whole. That is the best scene in the fucking movie where like, he realizes it's his wife on

[01:26:37] camera and then he just goes. Boom. And just starts eating the tapes and gets fired. But then he somehow gets the last comeuppance at the end. Like it. The whole movie's. Well, he's a little annoying though too, because like he gets fired and then like, he basically like meets up with his wife and he's like, I don't, I don't know what I can do anymore. I don't know how to feel. And he like leaves his kids with her. And I'm like, those are your kids. Like they're not her biological kids. You're the father. Like that was a little weird.

[01:27:06] Um, but it all gets, they all love each other in the end. So it's fine. It's a shitty movie. What are you going to say? It's a shitty spy kids movie. The thing is, it's a shitty movie, but it's no worse than two or three. Like they're all on the same level. Like they're all equally bad. They could have done better with the 3d elements at this point in time. This movie came out a while after they could have tried something else and just throwing bolts, nuts and bolts at the screen.

[01:27:35] Alex, the fourth movie tried smell of vision again. Smell of vision had been dead for years. Yeah. Yeah. They really tried really dumb shit, but you know, they resolve it. Their family. Also, we forgot to mention too, like the baby like shits or something. And like the baby has like atomic farts or something. And they use it in fights at one point. I'm pretty certain. A lot of poop and like vomit and barf jokes. Like a lot of poop, fart and barf jokes.

[01:28:03] Well, what's funny is when we were watching, you're like, wow, they really just gave up on trying to be humorous and just went to poop jokes. I'm like Alex of the second movie. They literally fall in shit. Yeah, I know. But I think it was more print. I don't know more pronounced. Also, the baby at one point was like a doll and just got almost just like. Yeah, you can see where it became a baby and where it became a dummy really fast. It's so fucking funny. And I just put the sunglasses on. It's like suddenly like baby. Like.

[01:28:32] Yeah, I just like the whole time watching it. I'm like the whole time I was like, this is bad. But I was like, it's no worse than three. It's no worse than two. Like, honestly, I think it's better than three and two in certain aspects. In some aspects. In talking dog. Yes. Talking robot dog. Definitely. I liked a lot. So there wasn't a lot of big name actors and like it was literally just Galva. Like that was like, and then they brought back Carmen and Junie, but the rest of it was pretty much all no names. Like the parents didn't come back. Neither did the grandparents.

[01:29:03] Yeah. They got Danny trio for three seconds. I mean, and he didn't even speak a line. Well, the dog, the dog budget, the dog budget. That being said, though, I didn't think it was like there wasn't a point where I was like, this is awful. Like, I hate everything. I was just like, I was like, no, this is this is honestly think it was on par. Like the first one's the best and it was just on par with the other ones. Yeah.

[01:29:29] Like there's like the way I put it is the first one's up here and the rest are like down here and it's just a flat line of quality. Like they're not any better. But the third one, I gets a little bit of a boost for me just because it's super quotable, but that's really about it. Um, yeah. And then apparently they also made a fifth one, but I don't we were going to watch it. And then we just said we have watched too much by kids. We are spy kids out.

[01:29:55] There's also a TV series that was like on like Netflix, I think at one point. There was? Oh, maybe that's the Armageddon. Maybe that's the Armageddon. Armageddon's a movie. There was also a series. Oh, oh no. Um, but yeah, I don't have time for that. Uh, we're also going to touch on the other movie that, um, Robert Rodriguez made around this I mean, when else are we going to talk about it?

[01:30:19] So we didn't watch it for the thing, but I remember this movie vividly because we had liked spy kids the movies as kids. Yes. This one. I was like, what is this movie? This movie was also, I would say the in between of spy kids 3d and then spy kids for we'll just call it 40 just to make it easier. They didn't they did in trailers. Okay. Uh, this was the in between movie.

[01:30:46] Uh, and it is known as shark boy. No, Alex. The adventures of shark boy and lava girl. The one adventure. There's not multiple. This movie didn't even have the spy kids charm to keep it going. This movie was just shit. But Bill. It had one of the greatest castings of all time. George Lopez. As a giant face.

[01:31:15] That's the best fucking part of this movie. You know what my favorite part is? Mr. Electric. You know what my favorite part about that is? The little shit kid. Who is the kid? Like, he isn't even top cast because we know who was top cast in this movie. Clayton Boyd. That's the name. Um, so the kid is like, he has this dream. The whole plot is he's like, it's a, it's a book of dreams. My dream journal. And he's got all these like thoughts.

[01:31:44] His family doesn't understand him. Bullshit. You know, like yada yada yada. My family doesn't love me. Um, but the whole thing is like his teacher is just a normal teacher and it's George Lopez. But I mean, hiding the fact that it's George Lopez. Uh, he's just a normal teacher and he's like, Judy, not Judy. Max. Uh, you're, he's like, you're spacing out in class. Like you need to pay attention. And he basically just makes him the villain of his book. He's just like. For being a normal, a normal teacher.

[01:32:12] But the funny part too is like, I didn't, I'm reading this now. I don't know if this was on purpose, but he actually does voice though. A lot of the other characters that are good in his universe as well. Cause he voiced, um, Tobor and then also the ice guardian as well. Um, probably like a good care, like a good memory to him. So it's funny that I don't know if it was like, they just had to do it to be.

[01:32:41] I don't, I assume it was probably that. I don't think it was supposed to be that deep. Yeah. Um, God damn it. Sure. I mean, it's the adventures of shark boy and lava girl. How deep is it going to get this movie? Oh, it also had one of the greatest characters ever named Linus. Send him to the principal's office, sir. It's one of the greatest lines in that movie. The thing I remember from this movie is like, he's got his whole like dream things. Cause he made up these characters in his mind and gave them deep backstories.

[01:33:11] And like shark boys played by Taylor fucking water. And it is fucking hilarious. As a child. As a child was preference. But pre twilight, Taylor Lautner. Oh, this was one of his first films. Yes. Jacob. Um, yeah. And he plays shark boy. And the whole gimmick is like, he was like this scientist guy, like the son of a scientist. And he made friends with the sharks. And when the science center gets destroyed in a storm, he's the only one that survives.

[01:33:39] And the sharks are like, they're like, Hey, that's shark boy. Don't eat him. And he just becomes a shark. And I'm like, okay, that makes sense. Um, and then lava girls backstory is. She emerged from a lot volcano. I am here. And her whole story is the fact that she doesn't have a backstory. And then that's why she has so many fucking issues in this movie. Yes.

[01:34:05] Also like, uh, Max is 100% responsible for all the problems he has in this movie because like early on, like when it, when his teachers lecturing him for spacing out in class, he tells him to stop dreaming, like dreaming, like head in the clouds. And Max writes in his little book, no dreaming, which completely make causes the entire like end of dreaming plot in the, in the, his little fantasy world. Yep. Also some bully, the bullies are like typical school bullies and they steal his book and like ruin it. Linus.

[01:34:36] Yeah. I'm going to call you minus. I think that's what George will. Oh yeah. In the, in the, the dream world, he's minus. Like he is this thing. Like this movie is so shit. And then the little girl that like, hi, the, the, the, the principal's daughter or teacher George Lopez, his daughter is like this girl that kind of likes Max. And then he, she is in the world as like the ice queen. No, that's why he was the dad, the ice guard, whatever. It makes sense now.

[01:35:05] If this, if this plot makes no sense, it didn't make sense when we watched it. It didn't make sense. I don't like, cause I'm trying to think and I'm like, what, what actually happened? Cause I know they go into the dream world and they confront Mr. Electric at one point and Linus at one point. Wait, cause in the dream world minus is like the main bad guy who's causing all the problems. Cause he's like, cause he has the book and then they finally get the book back and then lava girl holds it and it burst into flames.

[01:35:34] And then she goes like, why'd you make me out of lava Max? Like, like the most dramatic fucking scene. Did you forget about that scene? I always remember that scene. Cause she's straight up the book. She holds the book for two seconds. It burst into flames and she immediately is just angry. Like, like, I also remember at one point they're trying to make Max dream. So he can like actually do something in the dream world.

[01:36:04] And they're like, you know what? We need, we need Taylor. And they're singing. And he's like, dream, dream, dream. Like the most like aggressive singing to lull someone to fucking sleep. Shark boy is also a fucking edge Lord. Like the whole time. Yeah. Also that scene of him running in that really when lava girl is like trapped in the thing and she, she, well, she's dying cause she got frozen. Um, and she needs to be dipped in the lava to live.

[01:36:33] Uh, that scene of Taylor Lautner running across that obvious green screen is so fucking goofy looking. Everything about this movie was so goofy looking. And I think at one point, like the, the world, the dream world comes to the real world. And one of my favorite parts is George Lopez. He's like, why'd you make me, why'd you make me a giant face? I wish we could have found it.

[01:37:01] It wasn't, we could not find it to watch it. Like it was not available. We also, we also didn't, we also didn't try very hard. We didn't try very hard, but we couldn't find it. It was like 11 at night by that point. We were like, nah, let's watch Sonic. Miley Cyrus apparently auditioned for this film. Good thing she did not get to roll. Well, no, no, she was in a big fish.

[01:37:28] Um, I didn't know that for like three seconds. She's in that movie, but yeah, uh, that's, that's a good movie though. Dream, dream, dream, dream. I am. Oh, that's all I can think of. I need to like, look up like, uh, like quotes from that movie. Because I know like sent to the principal's office. Why'd you make me out of lava, Max? Let me see.

[01:37:55] Uh, he ruined my dream journal. Give me back my dream journal minus. Oh, let's see. Some of the funny. Oh, when he falls on top of Taylor Lauder and he's like, you crushed my fin.

[01:38:20] Also when he, when he's having his little dream sequence of like, when Sharkboy came to visit him, he's in his shower and he just filled the shower. This isn't a bath tub. This is a standup shower. They filled it with water. That doesn't work. Yeah, no. It's not a perfect seal. It's fine. I love that Sharkboy got. I destroy everything I touch. I think that's what she said. I love, yeah. I destroy everything I touch. I gave her this angry voice because it's so funny.

[01:38:47] Um, I also love how like, Sharkboy gets this deep backstory and then Lava Girl just shows up. And it's like, yay. That movie is shit though. Isn't it getting a sequel? That movie is... What? I think they're making a... Where did you hear that? They're making a sequel called We Can Be Heroes. And it was released on Netflix in 2020. This is the full quote. This is the full quote of the Linus Kid. I did not!

[01:39:17] Mr. Electric sent him to the principal's office and have him expelled! What the... Um, yeah, they made a sequel to this movie. It's fine. What? They made a sequel called We Can Be Heroes. Yeah, it came out in 2020 apparently. Um... What? The only... The only character that came back was the girl that played Lava Girl. And she's not even in like the top, like, filled people, so... We can be heroes? Oh, God!

[01:39:47] We gotta watch... It looks... Alright, now we actually need to... We need to watch this. It only received mixed reviews from critics. Well, I guess anything is a masterpiece compared to the first one, so... Did they just recast Sharkboy? I believe they did, because he definitely did not come back. Pedro Pascal is in this movie! What the... Is it made by the same studio?

[01:40:16] Like, is it... Oh, yeah, there he is! Yeah, Robert Rodriguez, he's, um... He made this. Oh, my God. Alright, we gotta watch this now. Wait, okay, is Sharkboy in this? Um... J.J. Well, I see the Sharkboy costume, like... J.J. Deshawn played Sharkboy, but it's a silent role because they couldn't get Taylor Lautner back. I'm sorry, he was... Did he just take on silent? Oh, no, no, it's even better.

[01:40:46] It's J.J. Deshawn, it's a silent role, um, and you never see his face. Like, what a role. This looks like shit. What the fuck? Uh... I kinda wanna watch it now. Just to... That line is still my favorite. You know what's great, though? You watch one of these movies, then you go to, like, watch, like, one of, uh, Robert Rodriguez's other movies, like Planet Terror, and you're like, this is the same guy, what?

[01:41:16] They're like, what is happening? Planet Terror is a zombie movie. So... Yeah. I kinda want this sticker. I'm scared. Bill, can you, uh, can you get me this? It's a sticker. I'll send it to you in our Discord. But, um, yeah, these movies, watching them again were an experience. Um, I'm not sure if I enjoyed it.

[01:41:44] Yeah, I couldn't really say I enjoyed it. I mean, it was, it was something. We wasted a good chunk of time. Let's go. I will say, though, anytime I'm in an argument now, and I just wanna end the argument abruptly, I'm just gonna look them in the face and go, why'd you make me out of lava, Max? And just, see how that goes. Or, or send them to the principal's office and have the next spell. Why'd you make me a giant face?

[01:42:12] The way he says it to in that line, like, is so dramatic. Like, oh my god. I love George Lopez's being like, I'm gonna start calling you minus Linus. So... One other thing. How the fuck have we almost talked about this for two hours? Because, how did we get as much time out of Sharkboy and Lavagirl as we did? Because we didn't even watch it, and we remembered that much from it. I just remember that from our childhood.

[01:42:42] Like, we went in theaters and saw that. I vividly remember we liked Spy Kids 3 and the other ones. We went to see that, and we were just confused. The plot is so fucking bonkers. There is no plot. What the? That was a classic case of mom being like, I hate everything. Mom just texted me, and it just says, Medusa! With an exclamation point. Okay. I don't know, I don't know.

[01:43:12] I'm just gonna respond with a question mark. Maybe it wasn't meant for me? Medusa. Everything I touch burns! You sent him to the principal! You ruined my dream journal! Dream, dream, dream, dream, dream, dream, dream.

[01:43:40] They should've just had, instead of him being silent, they should've just played that clip on repeat of just, dream, dream, dream, dream! Yes. How much do you bet Taylor Lautner wasn't unavailable? His response was just, no. Make it so I'm unavailable.

[01:44:00] Honestly, I don't even think he's acting anymore, because he basically, like, almost ruined his career, but he made a lot of really bad acting in movie shows. Not all of them were his fault, but he was in so many bad movies that, like, he's just, like, gone. His stock was way down. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, but yeah. So, after that adventure, once again, guys, thank you for joining us on the Gaming and Collecting Podcast.

[01:44:28] Um, you can find the Gaming and Collecting Podcast on all the major podcasting platforms, particularly Apple Podcasts and Spotify. And be sure to check us out over on the SuperPod Network. That is superpodnetwork.com, an awesome site where you can find all sorts of different shows, blogs, videos, and you can check out all of our other shows. There's sandwiches on there.

[01:44:46] And you can check out all of the other cool shows over there, like SuperPod Saga, Super Ghost Radio, Retro Rehab, Tommy's Video Game Ride Along, A Novel Console, Bar Silence Find Time, Yell the Trolls Gaming Podcast, Remember 64, Gaming Together, Friday Night Gamecast. Not Gaming Together, the 64. Need to clarify. Bye. Gaming Together, the 3DO Experience, Geek Addicts, The Retro Wildlands, Press B to Cancel, The Pre-Order Bonus Podcast, and Retro Mo Video Game Reviews.

[01:45:16] And with that, everybody, we will see you all next time. We'll see you in the principal's office. Because we're expelled. No! Get rid of that! I hate waffling! I hate that word, Attack on what? Have you started watching Attack on Titan? Nope. I'm going to ask every episode until you watch it. Start watching it. Have you finished God to Don yet? No. Exactly. I haven't started watching Dragon Ball either. And Matt, I'm not going to out of spite! I don't want to watch it!

[01:45:47] I'm kidding. I'll watch it so I have context going into Dyma. You probably should. But I might delay my watching of Dyma as well. So she's never going to watch it? Well, Attack on what? Bill? Are you ever going to watch Attack on Titan?