They Had Three Bacons | The Big Deal

[00:00:04] Stepping to Video Game Land, Welcome to Fine Time

[00:00:09] Hello, Party People, Hello Fine Time People, It's your boy Dre, and I am here with my boy Steve

[00:00:41] Hey, what's up guys? And, of course, because I can't forget him, I am here with my boy Kevin Kevin, where is he? You know, he made such a stink about how he wasn't your boy, and then you give him the title, and then he doesn't even follow through

[00:01:07] He didn't even show up, god damn him, he must be off being a family man I mean, Jesus It's fine What are we gonna do? I guess we'll do a show, huh? We'll manage I wasn't, yeah, so Kevin isn't here today, we were not planning on having an all-American big deal Usually we warn you guys about that ahead of time, but we were not planning on this either

[00:01:37] But, you know, hey, he is literally off being a family man, duty calls sometimes, right? So, you're stuck with us, sorry You said duty That's it? That's all you got for me? Am I just, are you also not here? Am I doing the show by myself? I mean, like You have to be fucking with me

[00:02:07] That part's later, you know that Oh my god Oh I Okay, you know what? Nevermind, I'm gonna save my Almost said save my regrets I'm gonna save my gripes for later I'll take it out on you later We have a game coming up that I don't think Steve is gonna like But I'm rooting for his success As I always do on fine time But I'm not sure he's gonna like doing this one But we'll see Regardless We talk about video games up front here

[00:02:35] On the big deal And This time Steve I played the big one I feel like it's been a while since I played the hot, hot new game You're overdue I am overdue So I Have been playing Soros Ah Soros, Soros, Soros So, I mean Does this really need any introduction? I mean

[00:03:04] I figure if you're listening to this show You know what Soros is Maybe a small introduction Because that's what we do around here, Andre I You're telling me what we do around here now After you left me hanging in the breeze Flapping Flapping on the What is it? Like the clothesline? I thought we were doing a meaningful pause Oh, but yeah Very meaningful Now you're gonna tell me how it's done around here Okay, fine

[00:03:33] Why don't you tell the people what Soros is, Smarty Pants? You're the one that played the game I mean I could tell everyone at home that it's the sequel to Returnal A game that I played on PS5 But you're the one that played it Okay, you're right I've been over Okay, now I agree with you I've been overstepping I'm not doing my duty on the show Okay, I agree with you But yeah That's exactly what it is Returnal Early PS5 hit

[00:04:03] What was that? March, April 2021 Maybe May Shit I think that was still Previous creative endeavor time When we When I played that You didn't I don't think you had a PS5 yet I didn't But when I got it PS5 And then Royale with cheese That was One of the Frontrunners on it I'm like Yay, I could finally play it And then I played it A lot And it kicked my ass And I didn't beat it And then this They announced this And like

[00:04:31] Well, I can't play this Until I beat Returnal And Andre's like Who's stopping you? I'm like Me I'm stopping me I don't feel right doing this You don't have such qualms No, I don't I definitely don't I am playing Sorrows Because I want to see the shit I loved Returnal I thought it was really fun And so, yeah I was excited to see a follow-up I guess Five years later Damn, I guess that's How long it takes to make a game nowadays There was certainly room for improvement

[00:05:01] Returnal was not perfect But yeah Sorrows Is definitely Returnal 2 Yes, it's a spiritual sequel It's not literally called Returnal 2 But it is So people who were looking at this Being like Oh, I didn't really care for Returnal But maybe I'll like this one No If you didn't like Returnal You're not gonna like Sorrows Steve, let's start with Perhaps our most consistent And not necessarily favorite

[00:05:28] But oft-returned topic on Find Time Graphics on PlayStation 5 Baby How many more Well, how much longer can we really have this really? So let's enjoy it while we still can I know, right? I feel like graphics on PlayStation 6 Won't have the same ring to it It's the Five It's the Mouthfeel of Five It is the Five It's the Five Yes, I'm glad you agree with me on that It really is

[00:05:58] Yeah, man This game looks incredible Returnal already looked incredible Back then I don't know what engine they used for it It doesn't really particularly matter The resolution was pretty low There was definitely some low-poly stuff They were doing a lot of things to get it to hit 60 And stay there Their knowledge of the system now Is obviously so much more vast Because of the things that they're putting into this game The effects on here

[00:06:26] There's volumetric fog There's tons of particles and sparks The use of HDR is crazy I know you guys didn't play I say you guys as if Kevin's also here Steve Kevin is here in spirit Okay, he's here in spirit I'll say it that way anyway I know you guys didn't play Remnant 2 You guys remember me playing Remnant 2 a few years ago? I do remember you playing Remnant 2 I also remember you sending me a copy of Remnant 2

[00:06:56] That I still need to play Because you loved it so much It is the best I love that game This is like Remnant 2 on steroids Visually Like, just because as impressive as that game was Because Remnant 2 was like the first Unreal 5 game to really look like that And do procedurally generated levels And yada yada yada, right? Have all What's the word I want? Nanite On display In full bloom In a game like that That's running at 60

[00:07:25] Allegedly If you have VRR I Thought that game looked great For its time This looks so much better than that Sorrows does So that's kind of my Jump off point Not necessarily Returnal Which was so long ago now That it doesn't really hold to this But yeah You get all the familiar shit You get alien planets With like red flora and fauna The Metroid-ish touches of Returnal Steve I'm sure you noticed

[00:07:55] Those are still here in Sorrows as well That kind of organic Level Not level design But just art design I guess you could say The flourishes Yes I made careful note to note those When I played Returnal For the show And gushed about it Yeah It's great You know This game even has You know What's it called in Horizon Where you like You go into like the den Of where like the machines are made

[00:08:25] And you like shut it down You know what I'm talking about There's like a few areas like that In Yes I don't know what it's called I don't know Yeah There's areas that look like that In Sorrows as well Which are very impressive And mechanical And cool But yeah This satisfies My You know me I have a fetish for I want as many things On the screen as possible That's what I keep calling for This generation This game does do that It's not like In your face about it Like Astro Bot Or something like that But it's It's

[00:08:55] It's there The only thing that kind of Sucks visually about this game Is that the cutscenes Are 30 frames a second And they're just like It's trying to be cinematic Andre Oh please And they're like They're not as low resolution As like Some other stuff That I've seen Do this recently But It doesn't look great And I'm not sure Why they're 30 It doesn't look better For being 30 So Usually when you cut

[00:09:25] The frame rate in half For a cutscene You're like Turning on a bunch of lighting You're doing a bunch of stuff That's like Oh okay This looks They want this to look great For a reason Saros doesn't seem to be doing that So I don't know You would question The artist's intent Yes It very much would That's what this show Is built off of And we're gonna be doing it A lot later too As you well know There's some very smart

[00:09:54] Gameplay things here In Saros That I really appreciate So the currency In this game Lucentite When you kill enemies Lucentite I think it's turned into Our friend Vin Lucentite Lucentite That sounds like What I was gathering In the first one But it's been a bit while I forget Let's say Lucentite That's the currency In this game

[00:10:23] When you kill enemies And that Lucentite Appears That shit disappears So fast You better grab That shit This is not a game Where You find an arena Of enemies You shoot them all Then you go gather up All your goodies No no no no no You better be on top of it I love that I love that You have to be active During battle To get your shit It disappeared Fairly quickly In Returnal too Is it faster than that?

[00:10:52] Yeah I mean I think so This This felt Okay It disappears In Returnal But I would have Never mentioned that When playing the game Because it's like Okay It's been around For a while And then it's gone Like Okay It was sitting there For a reasonable Amount of time This felt Fast Like Okay If you say so I mean I don't know It felt It felt like that To me So The thing is Also

[00:11:21] And this is part Of Returnal as well But it feels Even better here As you well know To do the alt fire On your weapon You kind of Half press down L2 To switch modes And then you Use R2 to fire Your dash Is on L1 So that kind of Means that you Can't do your alt fire Plus Have your finger On the dash You're gonna have To be ready to switch It's just that Few frames That makes it Feel dangerous

[00:11:51] Because it's like Okay I'm alt firing I'm doing the more Powerful thing Oh wait I'm not ready To Get the fuck Out of dodge If I need to Even though It's just a few frames That little brain Adjustment Makes it feel Great for some Reason And yeah It's a modern game I'm sure you could Map dash To whatever you want But you're still You're still Giving up Something You're giving up Oh Let's say you Map dash To where jump Was Now Where are you Going to press To jump Jump Is way The fuck Over here You're still Giving up

[00:12:21] Something You know And I like That I like That there's A bit Of I don't Know if Sacrifice Is the right Word But it Feels Smart Yeah That Sounds about Right Right And returnally And making Me want to Go back And play Returnal Instead of No I'm Just kidding You know And there's A lot of Things You know Me I'm the Curmudgeon On the Show about Like Difficulty Is level Design That's Intentional We shouldn't Have all These things

[00:12:51] To get Around That Because That's Part Of The Game Itself Etc Etc We Can't Just Have A bunch Of Sliders Make it As Difficult As You Want Or Make It As Easy As You Want Because That's Not Always Good For Games The way You Design Them On The Other Hand I Do Think Returnal Was Too Thorny That Doesn't Mean I Didn't Appreciate How Difficult It Was And How Just Purely Unrelenting It Was At Times I Did That's

[00:13:21] The Reason Why I Like The Game But It Also Meant I Wasn't Really Going To Sit There And Like Really Get Good At Returnal That Good At Something To Like Beat A Single Video Game I Had My Fun With Returnal I Got Pretty Far But I Don't Think I Ever Beat The Game Because I

[00:13:53] The Consumer Must Beat The Game Because Steve I Feel Like That's Something We Always Say But Is Not Really True And Doesn't Really Matter That Much To People Because If You Look At And I Get This Is A Bit Unscientific Steve If You Look At The Trophies For You Beat The Game Trophy You Beat The Game Achievement On Xbox Those Are Very Low Even For The Easiest Games I Think Most People Who Buy Games Don't Beat Them No Matter How Easy Or Hard They Are

[00:14:23] So I Just Think That's Kind Of A Fallacy Yeah As Low As They Are It Still Feels Like 5% Of People Have Gotten This Trophy I'm Like Really Guys It Wasn't Even That Tough Exactly Think About How Many Things Where It's Like You Got A New Weapon For The First Time And A Lot Of People Turn On A Game They Decide They Don't Like It And They Don't Play It But Then The People Who Do Play It They Don't Necessarily Care If They Beat The Game So I Just Don't I Guess

[00:14:54] All I'm Trying To Say Shield Because That Was The Most Intriguing Thing I Think When We First Saw The Trailer On A State Of Play Steve We Saw The Shield And I Think I Said And Maybe You Said That's Their Concession That's Their Concession From Returnal To Make It Easier Did You Have The Same Thought Yeah That That Sounded Right From The Time

[00:15:24] Yeah Do Tell Me How It Feels I'm Living Vicariously Through Me Right Now We're Kind Of Right And Wrong So Yeah It Does Go Easier On You But Not Because Of The Shield I'll Get To The Reason Why That Is In A Second But As Far As The Shield Goes Yeah Yes You Can Obviously Block Bullets With It But There Are A lot Of Bullets You Can't Block And Then There Are Bullets Where If You Block You

[00:16:00] Can't Just Block Whatever You Want It Is A Get Out Jail Free Card As It Maybe Had Seen From The Trailer What It Is Really Cool It Is A Very Active So You Have Like A Power Meter And The Only Way To Fill Up That Power Meter Is To

[00:16:23] So you need to use the shield and absorb stuff to be able to do your more powerful attacks, which obviously you will very much want to do in Sorrows. Is this the replacement for, oh God, what were they in the parasites? No, those are still here, but they're very deemphasized. Okay. They're still here though. You know what else is still here is like the adrenaline.

[00:16:50] You know the thing where it's like, okay, if you don't get hit, you'll keep building up this meter. That's still here, but it's also very deemphasized to the point where it may as well not even be here. Well, the way you were saying you can lose your overall health over time, it sounded like, oh shit, that actually sounds pretty important. Yeah. And there's ways to get rid of it, but they're not easy.

[00:17:12] Point is, the shield just turns out to be another cool layer of fun gameplay, not necessarily like a difficulty crutch. What is the difficulty crutch? Is a couple of things. One, and I'm sorry we've been using this term since Final Fantasy X, but I don't know what else to call it. The sphere grid. There's a sphere grid.

[00:17:34] You earn, yeah, you bring that lucentite back, lucenite, I'm sorry, and you buy stuff on the grid to permanently upgrade yourself. That's the difficulty in this game or getting around the difficulty. So the more you die, the more currency you bring back, the more you can build yourself up on the sphere grid. And the sphere grid stuff carries between deaths. Oh yeah, it's permanent. Okay. That's what they do in this game.

[00:18:05] I have not beaten Soros for full disclosure. I've gotten pretty far though. Even this deep in the game, I still don't know how I feel about the sphere grid. Because you can see it's pros and cons. I do like the progression of it, but I'm also not sure that I don't like the pureness of the runs anymore. But I feel like this is the reason why people like Hades or the reason why people like other games where you do this kind of stuff.

[00:18:34] Because that makes them feel good. Oh, I'm progressing even though I just died 15 times. I think that's why those games are very mainstream. You say mainstream like your mother's playing it. Yeah, my mom loves Hades too, man. She can't put it down. Yeah, I'm just thinking about Returnal where the best that you got is okay.

[00:19:01] If you happen to have enough ether when you died, you could stuff that for an upgrade that might appear on runs in the future. And that's it. It's hard, baby. Yeah, it's just like, I don't know. I don't know how I feel. Again, this isn't a complaint. It's also not praise. I legitimately don't know how I feel about it. I may still not know how I feel about it even after I beat the game.

[00:19:30] So, I don't know, man. It's good and bad. You know what's weird? So, they found a way in Soros to make the bullet hell sprays from the enemies feel more... I don't know if it's just the art direction of this game. It just feels more consistent. Returnal felt like... It felt fake. It felt like you're playing laser tag. Like you're in some sort of VR simulation and it's just like, here are all these glowing things.

[00:19:59] That is not a detriment, by the way. I love video game-ass video games. So, that's not a big deal to me. Oh, it's taking me out of the experience? I don't fuck with you if you say stuff like that. But in Soros, it really does feel... Again, it's more alien. It's more, dare I say, Metroid. Even more so than Returnal. So, it's like you get that feel and they make it feel organic in a way that makes sense visually. Which I like.

[00:20:28] Here's the only hard gripe I have about Soros so far. And you may have guessed it from the Sphere Grid comments and stuff, but... I'm not sure Soros is very good at being a roguelike. It might actually be a bad roguelike. But I'm not sure that that matters very much. Hmm. Hmm. Because, like, Returnal... So, here's the thing. So, Returnal was very much set up, here's the room.

[00:20:57] Oh, you can take this path. Okay, you might have to backtrack to here. Okay, that leads to a treasure. Okay, come back to the room you were before. You know, like a traditional roguelike, right? The way the rooms are set up. Soros doesn't have that. It is just kind of like, here's this big area that kind of... It's very... Again, I keep saying the word organic, but I don't know what else to say. It's very... There's very little rooms with, like, doors and shit. That's not very... It's not how this is set up. It's just like, here is this area.

[00:21:25] Okay, now you can traverse over here. Now you can kind of zipline over there or here with the double jump. Or now you can jump really high or whatever. And because it's that open, that also means that the levels can't be very designed. Right. It makes it feel different from Returnal, that's for sure. But that also makes it kind of bad on a roguelike sense.

[00:21:53] Also, again, I'm fairly far into the game. I think the weapon variety kind of straight up sucks. There's a pistol, there's a shotgun, there's a rifle, and it's just like, there's variations on them. But there's not... For me, personally, I really like a lot of different types of weapons and a roguelike. I'm not saying everything needs to be enter the gungeon. But, like... I mean, we've all played Binding of Isaac. Think about how many different permutations of tears you can get.

[00:22:23] Or, like, whatever. Like, Soros just doesn't have that. In my opinion. About how long have you spent in Soros so far? 20, 15 hours, I would say. Closer to 15 than 20. And that's all you've seen. Yeah, well... There's more stuff. I mean, I'm trying not to... I don't know if it's a spoiler for me to say everything I've seen. I'm trying to be a little bit vague here. But let's just say that, like, I haven't seen more than, like, a few weapon types that matter that feel very different.

[00:22:53] Again, I'm using my Returnal experience to be like, there's a bunch of these fucking guns. And you're making it sound like there's not so many of these fucking guns. There's not so many of these fucking guns. There just isn't. And, again, that may not matter to everybody. That matters to me as someone who likes this genre a lot. There's also none of the, like... Correct me if I'm wrong. It's been a very long time now. Returnal had shops, right? They had shop rooms.

[00:23:23] Yeah, there are these broken down whatever's that you stuffed your money into when stuff popped out. Yeah. Soros doesn't have that. Then what's all the money for? You only bring back the money to use on the sphere grid after you die. That's the only thing the money is good for. I don't know if I like that. Yeah, so you don't... But as you can imagine, that takes away... It's like, okay, because they don't have shops, it takes away the stuff of like, okay, I'm having a good run.

[00:23:51] I can go into the shop and buy some stuff to extend this run or get this cool gun because I'm having a good run right now. Or, fuck it, I'm not having a good run. Let me... I can just die. If I die, I die. Dot gif. And I can bring back the Lucentite to buy more shit for the sphere grid. You don't get that choice because there's no shops.

[00:24:14] I gotta say, I'm suddenly less concerned about your earlier point where the Lucentite doesn't stay on the screen very long because my incentive to get it where, man, I'm gonna need it for that shop coming up, doesn't exist. Yeah. So that kind of, in my opinion, that sucks. That doesn't sound very cash money of them. Wow! You can't. You just can't. It gets forbidden on fine time.

[00:24:44] Didn't you read the fine print? Not lately. Oh my god. Added as of May 2026. Yeah, I could go on, but basically, Soros is, so far, again, maybe I'll have a wraparound. I'll be like Kevin, I'll talk about Soros every episode for three or four episodes.

[00:25:09] For now, the way I feel about Soros is that it's a sequel of give and take. You know, it does some things better. It does some things worse. And ultimately, right now, I feel like Soros is more fun on a gameplay level. But it's also less interesting. And so far, I had more fun with Returnal. That could change as I go on here.

[00:25:38] But so far, and it's not by much. It's really not by much. I like Returnal just a little bit more. They're both great games. If you loved Returnal, buy Soros. Steve, you should definitely buy Soros, no matter what I say here today. Definitely do this. I'm going to do it after I finish Returnal. You fucking play a sounder. I need a break. You're coasting with fine time.

[00:26:24] All right. Well, first, I'm going to be a little heartfelt again because, guys, it's been a little. Well, it's been over a year since I was cajoled into joining the Superpod Discord. And a year since I've been joining the Superpod Discord's book club. You can join, too. We play a game every month and yell at each other about it. It's fun. But maybe don't join this month, though, because it's boss man Aaron's birthday this month, and he wanted to do bad games.

[00:26:53] And we landed on a little turd called Earthworm Gym 3D. Oh, baby. That's right, guys. It's three shows of not so great games that Steve played in a row. I am going to need a cleanser after this. Oh, Lord. You're filling up our best of bucket real fast with these shitty games.

[00:27:17] And I took it personally because Earthworm Gym 1 and 2 came out at a perfect time when I was a youngster. Gross out humor was at its peak because, you know, the 90s. Well, and while both games had their frustrating moments here and there, you know, there was some great art direction and bumping tunes that Tommy Tallarico probably didn't write if we're being real.

[00:27:38] And I guess so cartoony, there was a two season cartoon show with Dan Castellaneta as Jim and, you know, other cartoon alumni playing. That's a good show. Yeah, they were. They were the rogues gallery. I mean, it wasn't Animaniacs or Rocco, but it had a longer run than Bubsy, which is to say you'd have no idea the creator was a Nazi piece of shit until years later. Oh, man. Who said that? Oh, boy. He said that. He said a lot.

[00:28:08] Yeah, he said a lot of things, which is also to say we had no concept of the nonsense behind the scenes. Shiny giving up the franchise due to a no sequels policy they had going on at the time was not covered by Nintendo Power or other game magazines I picked up at the library or whatever. Sure, Earthworm Jim and even Boogerman showed up in Clayfire 63 and a third. But, you know. Boogerman. Boogerman. Yeah, Boogerman. Boogerman.

[00:28:36] I saw the picks for this game in the magazines. A new game was coming. The second one was being ported to the disc consoles. Not North America. The wheels were surely turning. People somewhere knew what they were doing. Surely they wouldn't just shrug and hand it up to some guys at Vs Entertainment, right? Guys, they really played not it with what was some hot shit at the time.

[00:29:04] And why am I giving you all this backstory? Because this game, Earthworm Jim 3D, feels like the mean-spirited ROM hack of the real Earthworm Jim 3D. Like, it came out in 1999, got mostly sevens, and is considered like a small hidden gem of the Nintendo 64 library. And this is the turn the fan community came up with to liven it up a bit. That is spicy.

[00:29:30] I don't think, I mean, in all my insults of games, I don't think I've ever called something like, this is the fan version of what should be the real game. Because, you know how I brought up the cartoon a few minutes? Hold on, hold on. Before you get going, I'm sorry. I want to say, I remember playing Earthworm Jim 3D on the N64 kiosk at Target in the year of our Lord 1999, as you said.

[00:29:57] And when I saw the pictures in the magazines, I was like, this is going to suck ass. I know this is going to suck. How did you feel? Like, when you saw the pictures in the magazines, did you have any good feeling about it? I know you liked the show or whatever, but. I was huffing a lot of copium. Like, I figured, look, 3D is going. Not everything's, you know, going to look great at the magazines at the time.

[00:30:21] I know Zelda 64, what we'd later call Arena Time, wasn't always looking the best necessarily in a screenshot format. I'm like, look, maybe this is some sort of avant-garde shit they're trying to go for. You know, that's what Earthworm Jim does. I mean, they had an ending in 2 where it turned out everyone was cows. LOL. So, you know, maybe I just need to trust the process. I was huffing a lot of copium as a young teenager in 1999. Yeah.

[00:30:51] See, like, well, I mean, I, you know, I was also, well, I was a much later teenager in 1999 than you. So I was just kind of like, I knew what was up. I was like, this is not going to be good. I can tell. And then I put my hands on it at the, on the target kiosk and that controller may as well have been covered in sludge. I mean, it was target. So, I mean, the controller was gross anyway, but you know, it just, that felt so bad in the hands. I was like, yep, that's as bad as I thought it was going to feel.

[00:31:19] I was so excited to rent this game in 1999 and then I played it. And the fact that I never went to like, you know, look for it used or asked for it for my birthday or Christmas speaks volumes. And I'm going to tell you why. Okay, please. Because remember how I brought up the cartoon? They decided to make 3D take place like in the cartoon world, kind of.

[00:31:44] Because you got Castle that playing Jim, Jim Cummings is playing Psycho for some reason, even though he's only in there for like one boss fight. And there's this half-baked plot about how Jim is in a coma because he got hit by a cow. And Modern Medicine, which is just a nurse that looks suspiciously like his sidekick, Peter Puppy. Someone I omitted earlier because anything interested he does does not happen in this game can help.

[00:32:10] So the only hope for quadruple brain damage is if Jim's superego personified goes on a tedious collect-a-thon-y adventure inside his own mind to collect his marbles. Get it? Because they're lost alongside a bunch of golden udders, you know, instead of stars. And oh god. I'm exhausted already. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:32:35] And we were already huffing even more copium in the Discord about how this could be worse. Because, you know, we had Batman Dog Tomorrow on here. Superman 64 is on here. And that could be true. This could be worse. But... I think those games are probably better. Batman Dark Tomorrow at least has like some fun cutscenes or like... No. This might be worse than either of those.

[00:33:05] You know what this game is? It's tedious. Because he controls okay enough, but he's stubbornly stuck with the minimum of moves he comes with. He jumps. He can briefly do the helicopter thing he used to do with his head. And he shoots a gun that can be swapped out for other guns from vending machines. Now again, he can do the whip thing with his head.

[00:33:31] But we're often repeating the same tasks on a loop and levels that can be generously described as mostly empty space with a small theme to get these stupid udders. Like we're running an obstacle course. And then this cow general is like, okay, go do it again in less time. I'm like, come on. But we just did it. I don't want to do it again. Yeah. And what makes it worse is that the levels don't remember the state they're in when you die.

[00:34:00] Like in other games of the time, like Mario or Banjo Kazooie. Besides others collected, which makes things like lives incredibly pointless. This might be an unfair question to ask right now, but is this better or worse than Tonic Trouble? Better, but not by much. Oh, wow. Okay. Because this is sounding mad Tonic Trouble-y to me.

[00:34:25] It's very Tonic Trouble-y in that despite them allegedly working on it since 96 or so, they said there was, I keep looking around. This was apparently being worked on since 96 or so. Doesn't feel like it. That's, you could have fooled me. Because speaking of things being tedious and incredibly pointless, there's the boss fights. I'm sure you might remember in the first two games, there were a bunch of unique ones where you had to, you know,

[00:34:54] whip a crate into a guy's ass in a dumpster and other ones where we had to, you know, do other things that, you know, sort of played with the environment around you. But here we just go surfing on a pig to collect missiles while your larger-than-life foes have considerably more powerful hardware, like a tank or a UFO while you collect 100 out of 100 marbles on a board to win.

[00:35:24] Isn't that wacky in Earthworm Jimmy? Jimmy, no, it sucks because you still have your health meter. They don't. And then the camera is just at its most shitty here. It's already not that great, but it's even more shitty here. You have a jump that you can use to try and evade stuff, but you'll never get the timing down just right for when you hear the shots coming. And your best bet is to hide behind walls, but you can't always guarantee that.

[00:35:53] And it's about here I lost my will on this, the second boss of this. This fat fuck of an alien just keeps firing, keeps seeking ketchup at me. And I got no other real recourse other than getting good. And I just, however many bad games in a row later, I'm just sitting here trying to rationalize why I need the power through this one too.

[00:36:17] Maybe if a bunch of you guys like start powering through this, I might get some FOMO, but I don't see myself finishing this one, you guys. This also, I mean, correct me if I'm wrong, this kind of humor by the year of our Lord 1999 felt really passe. It really, it was starting to show its age and they weren't bringing anything new to it. Oh boy, it's ketchup. Oh man. So here are cows again, I guess. Right.

[00:36:47] Even so, this is like this stopped being earthworm Jim a while ago. Yeah. We got some sound bites from Dan Castelneta's Jim, but you know, knowing what we know about earthworm Jim now, clearly that character was just a nineties fluke that enjoyed some popularity because it landed at the right place at the right time. And this sounds mean, but it's probably just fine that we leave him in that coma. It really is.

[00:37:16] Wow. Better than tonic trouble though. Really? Really? It's. I mean, I'm not going to recommend you go play this instead of tonic trouble, but if I had to pick. But you also, you played this on steam though, right? You did not play the N64 version. Oh, well, no. Oh, here's the other kicker. I bought this on GOG because the steam version is gone and it does not like it on steam deck.

[00:37:45] Oh, at all. Well, Legion go, but same difference. So I ended up borrowing the Nintendo 64 version. Oh, okay. Interesting. From the archives. Of course, be sure to return it once you're now that you're done. Yes. Now that I'm about done. Yeah. So someone else can feel the pain. Okay. Wow. That is just, you know, what's funny. Everything you said is exactly what I thought about this game for putting my hands on it

[00:38:14] for like two minutes at target when I was 17 years old. See, sometimes guys, you can judge a game by playing it for two minutes, right? I'm not saying always, but sometimes you just know. I had a two day rental on it at the time and I'm like, you know what? This isn't bad. And then I get into that first cycle boss and I'm like, we're really going to do this. And then I made it to the second boss here. I'm like, oh my God, they're going to do this. However many rooms. No wonder.

[00:38:43] No wonder they just keep pushing out one and two again and again. Remember when Earthworm Jim four was going to come to the Amico. No. And Interplay had no. And the lawyer, the one lawyer that consists of Interplay had no idea. Yep. I, we haven't done any Amico talk on this show. This early fine time was built off of making fun of the Amico like every two weeks.

[00:39:10] Well, there hasn't been any news for us to make fun of, I guess. So I think they're just kind of flailing their arms and hoping the Bavarian mobsters don't get them. I mean, at this rate, I guess I should end this by saying, because it's funny you mentioned the fabled Earthworm Jim four. At E3 2006, the only E3 ever went to. I was at the Atari booth. They had a lot of stuff there.

[00:39:38] Test drive unlimited, et cetera, et cetera. There was an Earthworm Jim there on PSP. It was like a 2.5 D. That's I remember reading about that in magazines at the time. That didn't come out, did it? That did not come out. I played it. It did not come out. But because the first level and I think it was the I don't know if it was the only level on the demo. It probably was, but it was a remake of a new junk city.

[00:40:04] Basically, it wasn't exactly like it, but it was like very close, like a Sonic Mania kind of thing. Not not the level you played before, but based on it. And the representative there, I asked him, like, is this going to be a remake of Earthworm Jim? Or are you going to do like original levels? He's like, no, this is just kind of like the first level where, you know, you're getting some familiar and then we're going to do our own thing after that. That's what he said. I never saw anything past that level.

[00:40:35] So again, this game got canceled and it never came out. So who knows what was actually planned? And I wonder if there's a unfinished version, kind of finished version out there somewhere. Who knows? But I'm sure it exists somewhere, but I don't know about it. Yeah. That was the last time I care about Earthworm Jim. All right, Steve, let's take a break and then we can argue about Star Fox. What do you say? Well, don't give away the secrets from now. Now everyone, everyone has to know we're going to fight about everyone. Oh, please.

[00:41:05] Everyone knows where we stand. We'll be right back.

[00:41:47] Okay, we're back. It is time, Steve. We must argue about Star Fox like two grown men that we are. Yeah, there's no real dancing around it. We are mostly opposed on this. So why don't you tell everyone while you're wrong and then I'll. Hey, that's my line. Yeah, I know. Yeah, I know. But it feels it feels weird for you. Usually you tell everyone, well, Steve hates everything.

[00:42:19] Okay, you know what? Fine. You know what? I'll start off with praise. Okay. There's been a lot of discussion online about the graphics of this game, the redesigns of the four characters, etc. I love it. I love the redesigns. I love the way the characters look and I love the graphics in the game. I think it looks fucking incredible. The aesthetic is peak on this shit.

[00:42:48] I think it looks so good. Again, I know there's a lot of detractors out there. I am not one of them. I don't agree with any of you who thinks who says this looks like shit. I don't I don't fuck with that. I think this looks great, Steve. Yeah. I don't really get it either. It's I mean, they it looks like a bunch of animals and suits flying things. They look like what they're supposed to.

[00:43:17] I mean, what do you want? I know I know the most common answer is I want to fuck them. But I mean, but I think that's I think that's who's arguing about this online is furries. Yeah. Except I know two furries. Haven and they don't they don't they don't seem to really care that they're not like that. Yeah. Like, I just don't. I mean, it's fine that you want to fuck them or like I get that.

[00:43:45] Like you wanted to fuck them before and now you don't anymore. That's fine. But you don't have to take it out on the game. That's it. That's your own personal shit. Anyway, it is a remake of Star Fox 64. Can I say and I feel like nobody is talking about this but me. And I understand this is a me thing to care about, but I don't care. I'm right.

[00:44:06] I think it is insane that a remake of Star Fox 64 is called Star Fox. That's crazy to me. Why would they do that? I have a big brain conspiracy theory about all of this, but I need you to tell me about everything else you hate first.

[00:44:32] No, I just like why is it called Star Fox? That doesn't make any sense. We would never accept this from anything else. Ever if they OK to Link's Awakening 2019 for switch. If that just came out and it was called the legend of Zelda, people will be like, what the fuck are you doing? If they remade like Mario 64, they just called it Super Mario Brothers. People will be like, what? What is going on?

[00:45:00] So why are we accepting this about Star Fox? Because it is like the however many a three telling of this same story where we started Corneria and we end up at Venom to beat the snot out of Andross. OK, but those are all different games. Star Fox is not Star Fox 64. No matter how many people like to say, well, it's just a remake. No, it's actually not. It's the same story.

[00:45:28] It's the same story, the same like whatever opening crawl they have in Star Fox, which was just a small story bit to get you to play a rail shooter. That's all it was. It wasn't like this deep story or anything. It was just there. So you have a context of what you're doing. Star Fox and Star Fox 64 are not the same game. There is a game called Star Fox, and this is not a remake of that. It's a remake of Star Fox 64. Star Fox 64. Does anyone care about me? You're just sitting there.

[00:45:57] Can someone can someone help me? I know it's not going to be you. I'm going to help you in different ways. Well, actually, no, I'm not because I know you're obstinate, but I might help someone else. I'm waiting. I have a very long rant that that might solve a lot of your problems, but I need to hear them all first because I need I can't have you interrupting me. Oh, OK. OK. Sorry. God. God forbid. Fine.

[00:46:27] OK, fine. I'll say all my gripes at once. Jesus Christ. I'm not sure that I want to see full ass Star Fox cut scenes. I feel like the only time I want to hear them talk is in the field. I don't know if I need like to go back to base and he needs to actual like chitty chat with General Pepper at 30 frames a second. I don't I don't I don't need that. Man, you are being a funny dirty today. Why did anyone ever? OK, but who asked for this?

[00:46:56] I'm not saying that like we can't have anything that we didn't specifically ask for, but I don't think I've ever heard anyone in my life say, oh, man, I want more talking at a Star Fox. I want more like I mean, the only times they've tried like a Star Fox command was like damn near unintentional comedy. Those endings are funny as fuck. Is that what you want, Andre? You want everyone to go? Hey, damn it up.

[00:47:26] Would it be bad if I said yes? No, I don't want that. I don't want that. I think that would be funny, too. But look, fine, fine, fine, fine. I mean, I'm going to step in now because because you're just so bewildered because look, I am the desperate whore for Star Fox. I thought Zero and Guard were OK. I played through all of Ubisoft Starlink with the Arwing. I have a second Arwing that I got on a fire sale so I could say I got one in a box.

[00:47:57] And it kills me that we only get one of these a decade. And I think that's what Nintendo is trying to fix because we've been over this before. As similar as many Nintendo releases are to each other, Nintendo doesn't do the acid flip sequels. The ones that they do become huge stories. But we already know that Nintendo has been crunching numbers about, well, we're changing the way. We're going to start making some games.

[00:48:23] And this game, Star Fox, just Star Fox feels like an attempt to test the waters on the game being the merits of just being a game. Because, again, big ass fan. But Star Fox is usually used as a poster child or a scapegoat of some kind. Oh, look at our super effects chip. Oh, here's the rumble pack. Well, we ended up with a hit on the N64.

[00:48:52] Why don't we slap them in this unrelated adventure game with dinosaurs? Ah, shit. This arcade board's bust. Here's this campaign we crapped up about the Borg. Miyamoto needs a project with the gamepad while we make a thing on the Switch for reals. We might kill Star Fox for real this time. It's exhausting. So you'll watch this direct and Star Fox gets to be sold on its own merits for a change.

[00:49:21] Star Fox is a real shooter. You have wingmates you need to keep alive. There's a branching campaign that unfurls depending on how you play. You can enjoy local and online multiplayer. Yes, it's very, not even very. It's mildly frustrating to be sold this campaign again. But it's a very clean, no nonsense wipe using the 64 as a base. Again, that's some cost cutting measure because it exists already.

[00:49:50] And as a base, you can use it to answer the question, can we sell Star Fox on a platform that's actually doing okay? And I think if the answer is yes, we could see more Star Fox coming in a similar vein. And I already hear, well, I've seen everywhere. Why can't we just point to Nintendo classics to say, here's the Star Fox that exists so far while trying something new?

[00:50:16] And that's because everyone's fucked up there because every time new things pop up on there, we get to do a bunch of shows on our own show covering games you won't play because you keep asking for games already on the apps. Where's Donkey Kong Country? Where's Star Fox 64? Where's Earthbound? And I know they're reading the metrics. They're not playing the games. You're not either. That's how we end up with Star Fox on Switch too.

[00:50:48] I can't refute anything that you're saying. I think you make a lot of sense. However, this isn't what you wanted, right? There's no way this is what you wanted. You can't, I don't think you can, even though you're fine with it and you will buy this, you, I don't think you can sit there and tell me, yes, this is, this is what I wanted. After 10 years of no Star Fox, I wanted to remake a Star Fox 64 on Switch too. I didn't. I didn't, but I see why they're doing it.

[00:51:19] And you already, yeah, you already noted yourself out front. It looks great. It's going to probably be play great. And why would I deny myself that? It's priced to move. It's not $80. It is 50 bucks. It is. They're giving it an honest chance. There's no gimmicks. Here is Star Fox. Give it a try.

[00:51:46] There's that bundle they're doing next month where you can pick between the three other Switch 2-iest games you can get so far. Mario Kart, DK Bonanza, or Pocopia. And like maybe other people like, oh, Star Fox. I remember Star Fox. And then they'll find out. We can all find out. And then maybe in another two or three years, oh, Star Fox 2. And then we see what happens.

[00:52:14] Maybe they're already working on it. They ruined the Mario movie for this, man. They disrespected the shit out of Mario for this. And everyone knew this is what this was leading to. That's the part that feels very unlike Nintendo to me. You're going to shit on the Mario movie. You're going to shove that to the side to have a glorified Star Fox commercial for the last third.

[00:52:42] And all in service of a Star Fox 64 remake. That's called Star Fox. That's fucking crazy to me, man. Somehow, I think the Super Mario brand will recover. I hate it. I hate that they did that. That sucks. You reduced your big movie sequel to a fucking marketing stunt for a remake.

[00:53:11] It's the only way they can get attention to this thing. Because, okay, not to show off what I do. But a while ago, I was on Flashback 64 doing Mystical Ninja with another guy who was a lot more important than me. Chris Totten. He's a college professor. He writes books. He's actually got his hands on a little Nemo remake on Steam. Holy shit. I should not have been in the room with that guy.

[00:53:39] Don't you feel like a fucking asshole when you're on a show like that with somebody? Because I do. Because I'll ask him. They'll ask them, like, what do they do? They have all these credentials. They ask me, okay, what's up with you? I like video games. I'm a video game guy. Well, thankfully, they let me go first to introduce myself. And they said, oh, is it okay? Yeah, it's fine. I can be on with anybody. But the point is, okay.

[00:54:05] Point being, he was on the other week talking about his college students about how they're not using the term Metroidvania anymore either. And you know why? Because they don't have a frame of reference for either of those games, which means they don't have a frame of reference for a whole lot of things, Andre. Which takes us back to that Castlevania chat we had a while ago about how do you get to the people?

[00:54:32] But I think that means, as far as the name goes, I think that's all the more reason why you have to, like, respect it. You can't just call stuff whatever the fuck you want. I don't know. They already tried that with Star Fox Zero. At least Star Fox Zero was a fresh take on the material. It tried to do its own fucking thing. This isn't doing that.

[00:54:59] So why can't we just riff on the formula like we used to? Because it's so easy. You start on Karnia. You end on Venom. You go to section X, Y, and Z, and A, B, and C. Who gives a shit? And, like, it's over. I don't know why you can't just make original fucking levels. They went through all this trouble to redesign everybody and have absolute brand new spanking new graphics. Graphics on Switch 2.

[00:55:27] I think it's because they want to use these spanking, spanking, brand spanking new graphics. I'm still fucking it up. So that they can come back to us in a few years with Star Fox 2. I don't know why you're so sure of this. You keep saying this, and I am just not optimistic. I'm optimistic. I'm optimistic because Nintendo is clearly recognizing how much games cost to make.

[00:55:51] And even last year, you were sitting there, I guess, however long ago when they showed off the Switch 2 reveal. And they showed off what we now know as Mario Kart World. And you thought, oh, maybe it's a tech demo. I'm like, they're not spending money on a thing that's not going to be a game anymore. And that was a game. I think they're being a lot more careful with what they're doing now. You're right. You're right.

[00:56:20] All my arguments are purely emotional, which is quite frankly very unlike me. It's not usually what I come on here and do. I just – I don't know, man. This just hit me in a way that I was just not – you know, I wrote down here in my notes, full disclosure, everybody, that I don't know if I'm going to pay $50 for this, $40 that could add me, but not $50. I think I changed my mind. I think I will spend the $50 on this. It's Star Fox 64.

[00:56:48] Of course, it's one of the best rail shooters of all time. Of course I want to play it, and it looks great. But I – you know what is – you know what is not – I think is not going to hit for me? I feel like it is quite foolish to try to redub what is the most quotable video game of all time. I get it. I'm not saying they should have kept the old voice acting or anything.

[00:57:18] I'm not that fucking dumb. What I am saying is that, like, it's kind of the reason why you maybe shouldn't touch this game because those voices are untouchable. And we know nothing's going to hit like cocky little freaks or whatever the hell they come up with now. We know it. Well, much like the Castlevania discussion, Star Fox 64 is not going to be pulled off Nintendo 64, Nintendo Classics.

[00:57:47] So you and me and – hey, maybe the new people coming to play this game might wander on to a certain app or two or three and give those other ones a try if they're so curious. I do not like that answer. Okay? I mean – I don't like it. That's the only thing you've said so far where I'm turning up my note. I do not like that.

[00:58:16] Okay. But I mean, they are – look, I know the dialogue's untouchable. I mean, you're really going to tell me that the prologue they showed off at the end was bad? No. Unfortunately, a lot of those people are not here with us anymore. You can re-record it with them if you wanted to. No, that's not – it has nothing to do with the voice actors.

[00:58:39] It's just that Star Fox 64 to me is the perfect encapsulation of a time and period. I don't know how you like – I don't think it's something you can improve on. It's something you can have a drastically different take on, which is not what they're doing. They're remaking it. It would be like if Final Fantasy VII Remake was just a 3D version with extra voice acting of the original Final Fantasy VII.

[00:59:08] That's not – that wouldn't be it. I'm not saying that would be bad, but it would kind of feel like, well, we already had a game that did very much the same thing that is iconic. So I'm not sure how you can live up to that. So they didn't try to live up to that. They did something else. I wish this would too. That's the whole problem with it. Yeah, you can't do better than that. So don't try. But they are trying. So here we are. Who made this?

[00:59:37] Who do you think made this? They gave credit to an internal EPD, but that's what they do for everything now. We never really know who works on a thing until it's about to come out. What was it? Was it Donkey Kong Bonanza where I beat it first? I'm like, you guys are not – I think I said to you because I don't think Kevin knows the companies like we do. You're not going to believe who's in the credits here. Yeah. I forget what it was. I forget if it was that or if it was something else, but – No, it was for Bonanza, but I forgot already.

[01:00:07] Yeah. Maybe it was Aiding or something. I forget what company was in there. Well, Aiding did most of Pikmin 4. That was another – Yeah. Big secret until everyone finished the game for the first time. Doesn't Artica do pretty much all their X99 games or whatever? Yeah, whatever is a 99 or whatever on Nintendo, that's pretty much them. Except for F-Zero. That was NST being freed from the cage.

[01:00:37] From the first Donkey Kong cage. The mini Mario cage, rather. Yep. Yeah. Now they got their shit together. Okay, fine. I mean, at the end of the day, my bitch ass is probably going to buy it. So, I mean, fuck me, right? Whatever, I guess. At the very least, you're going to hear from me and Kevin because even though he's not here, he told me to tell all of you that he's team pro Star Fox. So, we'll be playing it.

[01:01:05] I mean, y'all deserve each other. Wow. Salty. Andre is salty today. I am. Sorry. All right. We brought it up when everyone else does it. We got to do it when Nintendo does it too. Because on May 8th, along with all their other financial reports, Nintendo issues their own

[01:01:32] press release saying that the Switch 2 console will be increasing in price by $50 in both the US and Canada from $449.99 to $499.99 and $629.99 to $679.99, respectively. Effective September 1st. Meanwhile, Japan will see similar price increases on the region locked Switch 2 and Switch 1s.

[01:02:00] Not the region free Switch 2 somehow. Along with a modest bump in the Nintendo Switch Online sub costs. Effective May 25th. This almost seems too easy, doesn't it? I mean, this was expected by us for months, right? We kind of like, I don't even want to say speculated. We just assumed it was going to happen. And now it's here. I do think it's interesting that they're giving everyone this much of a heads up, though.

[01:02:29] Because back in the day, you remember how it was? Because, well, this is obviously different because it was price drops. But I remember when probably the last console price drop there was when PS4 dropped from $400 to $300 in like 2017 or 18. That shit was immediate. It was sent out. This is new MSRP as of right now today. Right?

[01:02:56] Because they don't want anyone being, oh, we're going to drop it on September 1st because then no one's going to buy your console for three months. So I get that. That's different. At the same time, I'm not like I am surprised that they didn't just. Here's the price now. Well, that's what everyone else was doing. So we all figured they'd do the same. But here they're just giving everyone time. I already brought up earlier that they're putting out a demo.

[01:03:19] Amazon already has it up for prior where you can just, hey, these are three of the hottest switch to only games that show off what it can do. And it's still at the same price point that we got the Mario Kart bundle for last year. I mean, not to pat a corporation on the back, but at least they're trying. It's not 100% feasible for everybody, but I mean, you have some time. It's something.

[01:03:46] And look, the console's worth it, obviously. So I get it. $500 is a lot of money. But look at what a PS5 has gotten to or, God forbid, a PS5 Pro these days, right? So $900. $500. I mean, holy fuck. I ain't paying that. I'll pay this for Switch 2, though, which I already, I mean, obviously we already did. But, you know, hey, it is what it is. We expected it. That's the world we live in nowadays.

[01:04:16] There was another, the actual numbers in the financial report weren't that particularly interesting. But there was one thing in that report. Takashi Tezuka, the very longstanding Nintendo employee. I say employee as if he didn't make a billion games. He's retiring. 42 years at the company. He is now retiring. When is it? June 26th, he's retiring.

[01:04:43] I don't know, Steve, if I have anything particularly insightful to say about him so much as just like he's the goat. This as far as the stuff I like at Nintendo, he was the most important person to me at this company more than Miyamoto. Because if you ask me, Steve, he is the true Mario man. He is. You might even call him the real Mario maker.

[01:05:13] Yes, that's what. As of recently, he, you know, it's Switch games like Super Mario Maker 2 or Super Mario Brothers. Wonder like all that shit is his. He's he's a producer on those still. And not just like a producer in name only, like they have to credit him. No, like he he's hands on with the shit. He cares. He was really making the rounds for two as well.

[01:05:39] Especially I remember seeing him on board for all that, mostly because there was that while you were making all those levels. Yeah, he was the Mario maker in Nintendo. You were the Mario maker in real life. Like, I'm going to make 100 levels. Like, OK, here we go. I did. I don't know if they're good. I don't know if they're all good, but I made them. They were better than mine. I don't know. You made some good ones. I OK, you know what I want to do to illustrate this to people.

[01:06:07] I want to read his credits for his first 10 or so years at the company. Let's say NES and Super Nintendo. OK, this is what the man did in that time. Just so you know, first game he worked on was Devil World with Miyamoto. So he was assistant director and graphics designer on that and Super Mario Brothers. Then Legend of Zelda director, graphic designer and writer. Zelda 2.

[01:06:36] He wrote the game. And then director for the following. Mario 3. Mario World. Link to the Past. Link's Awakening. Mario All Stars. Yoshi's Island. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. This guy was fucking killing it. That's 10 years of work. He's already a legend at Nintendo. This this doesn't even cover the 30 years that came after it. All hits. I mean, what can you say?

[01:07:06] Right. Crazy shit. Assistant director on Super Mario 64, by the way, just so you know. You're right. Like and then after that, he obviously ascended at Nintendo to like a more supervisory role and producer role. But he was still very hands on with the games. He wasn't like just sitting back like, OK, I have a cushy exec seat now. No, he was he was a true video gaming man.

[01:07:32] And the reason why I almost said the reason why I'm here is if he's like personally saved me from drowning in a pool or something. But I think you know what I mean. Like the reason why I'm doing a fucking podcast right now. Yeah. I think it's why a lot of us are here, because that early body of work informed a lot of video games. Yep. Yep. Yeah. Whether you realize it or not. So, yeah. Yeah.

[01:07:57] So if you don't know anything about this guy, go look up his resume sometime past even what I read here and the stories people have told about him over the years. And you'll see. So Godspeed. Takashi Tezuka. Enjoy retirement. Enjoy whatever you're doing next. Hopefully retirement. It would be weird if he went to like Tencent and made like a new company or something. Right. Oh, God.

[01:08:29] Andre. I got a fat guy topic for you. Nice. Let's do it. Two fat guys. We can talk. Especially since Kevin's not here. All right. I went to a Chinese buffet for the first time in a while yesterday. Nice. No, not so nice. It was kind of a bad time. Oh. And I used to remember this one being a good time.

[01:08:56] And what I'm more building up to is I'm more remembering like a long time ago when I used to go to Atlantic City. There were a bunch of casinos, especially this one that had, you know, they had the buffets because they want you to stick your ass there and fucking gamble. So, you know, they're always going to bring the shit. So, I'm going to ask you if you happen to remember any particularly good buffet buffet entrees that stuck out to you in your years.

[01:09:26] Oh, like a particular like the whole buffet was good or like a particular something I had at a buffet? Either or. Okay. Because I kind of have answers for both. So, okay. There was a buffet. I want to say I had it in 2019 maybe. So, by the way, that's kind of what's happened in Nevada. The Rona killed a lot of buffets. Just a lot of them didn't come back.

[01:09:54] Even though that's what the business is based on? Well, good joke. Well, not. I feel like they just went hand in hand, really. Even after just never came back around. Yeah. I'm not saying every place got rid of theirs, but there's definitely some notable ones that just never fucking came back. So, but yeah, but they're still around. But regardless, this one was pre Rona and this buffet still does exist. Thank God. I forget where it was, but it was in Reno.

[01:10:23] I think it was Atlantis or GSR. I can't remember. There was this pastrami. I tell you what, dude. I look, it was off the carving station. So the dude just carved it up fresh. You know what I mean? It wasn't just pastrami sitting around, which obviously would still be good. But he carved that shit up so fresh. It was like the perfect thickness. It was perfectly spiced. It was the right hit of salty.

[01:10:51] You know, I feel like there's a fair amount of pastramis that are not salty enough. I know it's cured and there's a lot of salt, but I still feel like sometimes they're not seasoned enough. You understand what I mean? Like, it just doesn't like. Well, there's more to it than the salt. You got to have the rest of the brine, too. I understand. I'm just saying that, like, maybe they don't brine it long enough. I don't know what the fucking deal is. Point is, this was perfect in that regard. It was perfectly fatty, too. Don't you hate when people complain about the fat pastrami? Like, shut up.

[01:11:20] That's the whole point. No, I get it. Because sometimes I'll hit up the Jewish deli for a pastrami sandwich, and I'll get one that's just all fat, and that's no good either. No, no, no, no, no. Not for, well, okay, yes, that is bad. I agree with you. But not for a sandwich. I mean just, like, having a piece of, like, hot pastrami. At that point, it's like, just, you know, you're not supposed to eat the whole thing of fat. That's the whole, anyway. Point is, it was great. Best pastrami I ever had. There was a buffet one time.

[01:11:50] I'm trying to think of overall buffet. And I think this one doesn't exist anymore. It was also in Reno. It was a breakfast buffet, which, you know me, I don't get up fucking early for anything. We were awake for this. For some reason, we went. It just had everything. It was just, like, the perfect breakfast buffet. They had bacon that was, like, they had three different bacons, which is great. See, I like chewy bacon. I don't know about you. How do you like your bacon? I've mentioned this on the Discord. I like it crisp, but not too crisp.

[01:12:20] You know, I like to be able to hold it up and, you know, have it sag just a bit. Okay. See, I like, I like barely cooked, like, floppy-ass bacon. You know what I mean? I won't turn down any bacon, mind you. But, you know, if I'm making it, you know, that's what I aim for. But they had, like, three different ones. They had, like, crispy-ass bacon. They had, like, chewier bacon. Then they had deep-fried bacon. Oh. Yeah. So they had three bacons.

[01:12:47] They had all the hot cereals, cream of wheat, oatmeal, et cetera. Oh, you win the cream of wheat. Oh, you know I love cream of wheat. You know, I love, so I got, like, two bowls of that. Small bowls, because I'm not crazy. I wasn't going to go nuts on the cream. You know how filling that is. They had it all, dude. They even had, like, the salad bar going, which seems weird for breakfast. But, honestly, it kind of works, because, you know, you can get all the fruits, and you can get all the whatever.

[01:13:12] Because if you go to the pancake station and get something, they may not have all the correct, like, you know, whatever. I'm not much of a fruit person, as you probably know. But, like, yeah. It just had it all, man. Because sometimes, you know how it is at breakfast buffet. Sometimes it's tough. Like, especially, like, serving things that kind of have to be eaten right away, like scrambled eggs or whatever. It's not always the easiest. Yeah, you can get, like, omelet. You can go to the omelet station and get an omelet, but that's not always what you want, right? This shit was just, like, fresh. It was good. They had that shit.

[01:13:41] You know, like, just years of experience, you could tell, at this place, serving breakfast. And it shone through. Usually, if I'm going into a breakfast buffet, I'm hitting up that omelet bar, and I'm giving it a cursory glance. And then I'm telling them to stuff it with everything except mushrooms, because as I've gone over, I can't really eat those so good. Oh, God. There was this one omelet bar that was so good. I can't remember where else it was in Reno, but I knew it was good, because I remember standing in line for it.

[01:14:08] There was, like, a couple people in front of me, and I saw the way he was making the omelets with at least, like, two tablespoons-ish of butter in that, like, small pan. So he was really swimming in it. You know what I mean? So you know, this guy, all right, this guy knows what he's doing. You know what I mean? Yeah. It's funny you brought up the pastrami, because I also have... Mine's also a pastrami, and it's at a buffet that went away, like, right before Superstorm Sandy hit the East Coast in, like, 2012. Yeah, 2012, right before we reelected Obama.

[01:14:40] And it was at Valley's Wild West in Atlantic City. They had, like, a similarly themed Western buffet, like, some kind of chuckwagon-y thing. And, like, that spring it closed for some reason, even though it was probably, like, the best buffet on the boardwalk. Like, okay, we're closing it now. I'm like, but why? Weird. It was so good. They had some kind of carving station, even at lunch whenever I... Which was usually the time I'd end up.

[01:15:08] My broke ass on a bus tour for the afternoon would be there, like, something usually... Sometimes a pastrami and all those other different themed stations, even a Chinese station for whatever reason. That was the hit for me there. I'm like... And then they got rid of it, and then it became a Guy Fieri place after that. I'm like, huh? Oh, Lord. So that's probably why then, right? It probably wasn't doing bad. They just took that Guy Fieri money. Yeah, but that wasn't a buffet.

[01:15:36] That was just a sit-down place. I understand, but they probably wanted that location, so they probably just bought their ass out. Yeah. Just... I haven't been there since Superstorm Sandy because, you know, time and things, but it's like, come on, guys. What are we doing? That sucks, yeah. Yeah, because I'm sure that was...

[01:15:59] You know, I always think about the buffets that are no longer with us, and it's like, damn, that shit was slapping. Did y'all used to have a sizzler out there? No. We had a handful of sizzlers, and they had, you know, what they call this salad bar, but, you know, it had the taco bar and the wings. It had everything. That was basically a mini buffet. Yeah, that shit was good. Yeah. We would get down on that quite often. Sizzler had the good one.

[01:16:28] Ponderosa had the same... I don't know if you know what that is, but... I know what it is, but we didn't have them. We had one, and they had, like, the nastier version of that. Oh, well then... What everyone thought... What everyone goes like, oh, sizzlers is gross. No, no, no, no. That was what Ponderosa was. That shit was nasty. No, sizzler was good. For the price especially, Jesus Christ. I was going to say, our sizzlers is on Denny's now.

[01:16:55] Our sizzler is a dentist now. I think I showed you it. It's still shaped like a sizzlers. You can definitely tell that's what it was. Yeah, they... Yeah, our sort of looked like a sizzlers too. It's... It's okay. I'll take a picture. Yeah. All right. Thank you for this trip down memory lane. I definitely... I'm hungry as hell, but I can't eat yet because we have one more thing to do before we get out of here. It's what I teased at the top. We have a game to play.

[01:17:25] And it's called Steve Name Stuff Off the Board. I don't... Ta-da! Are you ready to name a bunch of stuff, Steve? As ready as I'm going to be, Andre. Okay. So here's the premise of this. A couple years ago, you can... Maybe you're better about the time on this. I don't remember when. But a couple years ago, if you remember, we did a thing.

[01:17:54] Kevin was also out this day as well, which is why I played this game with you. Where, yeah. You know, hey. I devise single-player games. You know? Hey. If there's only one player. You know? I'm prepared. All right? I'm well-prepared for the fine and the time. And I prepared a game for you where it was... I had you name the top 20 best-selling GameCube games. You remember this? I think we played that with Kevin, didn't we? No. It was just you.

[01:18:23] Because remember, you got 16 out of... No! It was the top-selling Switch games. Because remember, you got like 16 out of 20. Yeah. Like right off the bat. And then you missed three in a row. I thought you were going to get them all. Yeah. I did not think I was going to get them all. But I just kept going. Yeah. Yeah. You kept going. It was Switch games. You're right. Because we played it. It's like Switch is going out the door. Let's do this game. You're right. So I want to do something similar.

[01:18:51] But also tougher. Because typically I give you guys like decent topics that I know you're going to be decent at. Because quite frankly, I don't think it's good radio if you like really bomb out on a topic. That's not very like fun, right? However, this is an exception. I do want to give you this one because it is tough. But I really want you to like dig deep in your brain for this one. I think it'll be fun anyway. So hopefully I'm right.

[01:19:19] Let me populate the board first. Then I'll tell you what it is. Here we go. All right. Steve, I want you to name, if you can, the top 15 best-selling Sega Saturn games. Oh, fuck. Of all time. Okay. I know. I know. This is tough, right? But look, there's no timer.

[01:19:48] And look, we're old. We both know games from this time and we know Saturn games. And the reason why I'm doing top 15 is because I went to Wikipedia and they only had 15 games on there. So that's all we got. Okay. That's all we got. All right. So, hey. Okay. Top 15 best-selling Saturn games. Whenever you're ready, you can say your first guess. USA or worldwide? Oh, this is worldwide.

[01:20:18] Worldwide sales. So this could include games that only came out in Japan because obviously it's the only way we could do this. So worldwide sales, no matter what region. Virtua Fighter. Virtua Fighter. That is number two on our list. Virtua Fighter. I'm counting Virtua Fighter Remix as well. That's like the same. It's considered the same skew. So Virtua Fighter slash Virtua Fighter Remix, 1.5 million. Number two.

[01:20:47] Let that be an indication to you. A million and a half is number two on this list. All right. Daytona USA. That is number five on our list. A million copies sold. Only a million? Christ. Only a million. Didn't that compact it? Okay. Whatever.

[01:21:16] I can't think about it that too hard right now. All right. That's two out of 15. 15. I obviously don't expect you to get these all, but hey, you know, you never know. Come on. Basic bitch Sega shit. Come on. Yeah, but a lot of which didn't make it to Saturn. I know, but you know, hey, come on. Think about the mid 90s here. Yeah, I'm trying to think about the mid 90s here.

[01:21:47] Oh, and it's funny because earlier today, Thrak was always saying, oh, you hate Sega. I'm like, I don't hate them. You hate them. Okay. I hate Sega. And this topic is not going to help me improve my image. Oh, boy. I am not beating the allegations. To be fair, I don't think he would be very good at this either. So I don't think anyone would.

[01:22:16] That's kind of again. That's I know it's a tough topic, but. Knights. That is number six on our list. Or excuse me. Number 10 on our list is Knights. Really? Okay. Yeah. 500k. That's that's the kind of numbers we're dealing with here on Saturn. So what can I say? Sonic R. Ooh. Sonic R is not on this list.

[01:22:47] And I'm going to look. I know this is hard, so I'm just going to give you a hint now. There's no Sonic on this list. Wow. Well. R would have been its best bet anyway. So that's one miss. We'll do the usual three misses, I guess. But. Come on. Basic ass bitch. Sega shit. I know you got this. Basic bitch fighting. Basic bitch. Sega shit.

[01:23:17] Yeah. Except for how so much of it did not come to Saturn. I don't know. Are you sure? I mean, like. I can't imagine what you're thinking of that didn't like any arcade game of the pretty much any Sega arcade game of the time. Made it to Saturn. Yeah. Of that period. I don't think they would have cracked the list. I don't know. There's some funky shit on here.

[01:23:48] Funky shit. Yeah. Well, I mean, like I said, this is a. Maybe. Again, maybe this will help you. This is an international list. There are games on here that never came out here because the Saturn was much bigger in Japan. So you have to remember that there are games on here that are Japanese exclusives. Which would never happen in this modern age. So. Maybe think about some hot Saturn stuff that never came out here as well. Or I should say never came out here on Saturn.

[01:24:18] Maybe that's. Yeah, too. Oh, boy. Everyone's making fun of me right now. Come on. Come on. Not any of the hints you just said, but let's say Street Fighter Alpha. Really? Yeah. Then I'll be real with you. If this were me, I would have definitely guessed Street Fighter Alpha. Everyone loved the Saturn versions of these shits. Yeah. Yeah, dude.

[01:24:47] I mean, I would have said so. So. Okay. Okay. That's two misses. Let's. Okay. You said Virtua Fighter slash Virtua Fighter Remix. That's number two. What do you think is above that? What do you think is number one? I thought that was number one. But. What? What would have sold more than what was slapped in all the. Boxes? It's very. I mean. It's only one thing. And it's not anything I want to say.

[01:25:15] Because I don't hate Sega, you guys. It's tough. Like I said, I know. This is. Those things I want to say are not sellers. Come on. Like. There's only going to be. There's only going to be one thing more popular in Virtua Fighter. And it wasn't Sonic. It wasn't Sonic. It wasn't that fucker bug either. Oh, fuck. Fuck no. See. That didn't come out in Japan? I doubt. I mean, I probably did.

[01:25:46] See, I don't even. See, I know. I know Sega games. Everyone. Well, if you're. If you're an American and you know anyone out of Saturn, they had bug. And I knew someone who had bug. And I was like, this sucks. Look cool. It was novel. Then they put it on PC and everyone at home was like, oh, this is okay. I guess. There's a PC version. Wow. They put a bunch of PC Saturn games on PC around that time. But fuck.

[01:26:16] Arcade ports, buddy. Arcade. Arcade ports of the mid 90s. Sega. Anything. You said Virtua Fighter. You said Daytona USA. Yeah. I know Space Harrier made it, but that can't be it. Space Harrier. Yeah. Like 1986 as Space Harrier. And the way you question that means that's not it either. So. Of the mid 90s, brother. Not the mid 80s.

[01:26:46] Yeah, I know. I know that we didn't. That was a small weird gap because people got burnt on having to charge a dollar per game on Virtua Fighter at the mini golf course here. Y'all had that for a. We had that shit for at least 50 cents. Damn. A dollar? It felt like a dollar. There was this one crooked mini golf course out here that got real stupid with some of this shit.

[01:27:13] Steve, what was more popular than even Virtua Fighter? What did Sega do next that was more popular than that? Virtua Fighter 2. Thank you. Fucking God. Number one. Jesus Christ. What was that? Number one. Okay. Number one. 2.5 million dollars sold. 2.5 million dollars. 2.5 million copies sold. If that's all they made on it, no wonder the Saturn failed. Well, shit.

[01:27:43] They would even have money to make Dreamcast if that's all. That's all the profit. They made. Okay. Relatively small numbers. Uh. Japanese. Think Japanese. Saturn exclusives over in Japan that were big shit. That's Japanese exclusives. Of course, I'm blanking. There's still plenty of arcade boards here, too. Of course, I'm blanking on those right now. Fuck it.

[01:28:12] Let's just say Sharding Force 3. That was not. Unfortunately, that was like way too late to really make much of impact. I'm sure it sold decently in Japan, but it was also like 1998. Right. So it's like. Was that 98? I figured a bit earlier. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Again, I know. Hard topic, but I just. Okay. I'm curious. What were they? Oh, yeah. I'm going to read them off. Okay. So you got the first two. Virtua Fighter 2. Virtua Fighter. Number three was Sega Rally. Championship.

[01:28:42] Oh, Rally. 1.2 million. Number four was Virtua Cop. Really? 2.1 million. Yeah. I'm surprised too. I didn't think Virtua Cop sold that much on Saturn, but it did. Big business. You got number five, Daytona USA. Number six was Grandia. Really? Yeah. Million copies. So those are the six million sellers on Saturn. That's it.

[01:29:07] So after that, we have Fighters Mega Mix at number seven for 600K. I was afraid to say Mega Mix. That was number seven. So you should have first thought, best thought. Number eight was Sakura Wars. 550K. I was afraid to say that one too. I'm telling you, buddy. You had the right instincts. Should have went with it. Trust your instincts. Oh, my God. Number nine actually shocked me. It's Enemy Zero.

[01:29:37] Believe it or not. What is that? Why do I know? It's made by Warp Entertainment. The Kenji Ino company also made D and D2. Okay. And yeah, it starts the same digital actor. Remember, whatever her name is, Laura something. Yeah. Okay. Right. So that's number nine. You got number 10, Nights Into Dreams. 11 was Sakura Wars 2. All right. Number 12. Now, I wouldn't have guessed this either. It's Shin Megami Tensei Devil Summoner.

[01:30:08] I wouldn't have thought that sold that much. But I mean, it's 470K, which, you know, for an RPG of that type in the mid-90s, that's pretty good. Was it on PS1? I don't think so. I think that was just a Saturn thing. That might be why. Yeah. Fighting Vipers is number 13. Fighting Vipers. Yeah. Virtual On is number 14. Virtual On Cyber Troopers. Number 15. There is one Capcom game here, but it wasn't Street Fighter Alpha.

[01:30:37] It was Night Warriors Darkstalkers Revenge. So it's Darkstalkers 2, basically. Right. Number 15. So, yeah. Tough. I know. I'm sorry. But I just wanted to see. It's good to challenge me sometimes. See, I'm not going to be a little bitch like a certain Canadian we know. Wow. On that note, I think we should get the hell out of here. Thanks for being a good sport about my tough-ass game. That was fun, I think. We'll get out of here. Thanks for joining us, guys. Check the description of this podcast to find our names on social media.

[01:31:07] And we'll see you next time. Bye. You've been listening to...