Games For Windows Live Handheld | The Big Deal

[00:00:00] Yeah, I'm at the store the other day and the pineapples are fucking moldy.

[00:00:05] Oh shit!

[00:00:07] I hate that bro.

[00:00:09] Yeah, and the make man is worse.

[00:00:10] I'm walking down the aisles and there's just this old lady falling asleep.

[00:00:14] I think she might have had a stroke.

[00:00:16] Oh shit!

[00:00:18] I hate that bro.

[00:00:20] But it was all better because I walked over to the deli and my man had all the cold

[00:00:24] cuts ready for me already.

[00:00:25] Yeah, who Ray for Bors had am I right guys?

[00:00:29] Oh wow!

[00:00:30] I love that bro.

[00:00:37] Step into video game land.

[00:00:40] Welcome to Fine Time.

[00:01:00] Hello party people.

[00:01:02] It's your boy Dre.

[00:01:04] Oh my God, we're back again like that backstreet boy Steve.

[00:01:10] What?

[00:01:12] He doesn't know he doesn't know backstreet's back Kevin.

[00:01:14] He doesn't even fucking know backstreet's back.

[00:01:16] Kevin's back again.

[00:01:18] All right.

[00:01:19] How could they be back if they don't go away?

[00:01:22] Okay, and now okay since you said that shit now I'm gonna explain it to you whether

[00:01:27] you want to know or not.

[00:01:28] Okay, so here's what happened.

[00:01:29] It's gonna look like I'm hitting the mute button.

[00:01:34] So here's what happened.

[00:01:35] So they released their first record around the world everywhere but the US and it didn't

[00:01:39] come out here.

[00:01:40] So when they released their second record their lead single was Backstreet's Back.

[00:01:45] That doesn't make any sense to us because they agglomated those first two records

[00:01:49] into one US debut album for us and Backstreet's Back was on there.

[00:01:54] So they're like fuck it.

[00:01:55] We don't know where they're back from but it's the jam and it's gonna be a number one

[00:01:59] hit and guess what?

[00:02:00] It was.

[00:02:01] So it didn't matter and yes everyone had the question, what do you mean you're back?

[00:02:05] You came out like two months ago.

[00:02:06] Back from the streets.

[00:02:08] Back from the streets of course.

[00:02:09] They're the Backstreet boys.

[00:02:11] But around the world they were back to everyone else because it was their second

[00:02:14] record.

[00:02:15] Okay now you know.

[00:02:16] Hey okay I don't want to monopolize derailing at the start of the show.

[00:02:22] You guys kind of already did that but I also want to derail before we get into video game

[00:02:26] talk specifically because Andre is obsessed with this account that talks about California

[00:02:33] license plates and whether they're approved or denied based on the legitimacy of how

[00:02:38] like you know inappropriate they may be.

[00:02:42] So less than an hour ago I was on my way home and I seen this yellow Mustang with

[00:02:47] black stripes as a very showy car right?

[00:02:50] And it had a custom license plate.

[00:02:51] So I want to tell you guys what the license plate said because I had this entire lore for

[00:02:56] the driver in my mind.

[00:02:58] Now okay and the driver was probably like at least mid sixties pretty like nerdy skinny

[00:03:06] kind of looking guy.

[00:03:07] Okay.

[00:03:08] Driving this very flashy car and the license plate no spaces, no numbers just letters said

[00:03:14] H-E-S-P-A-Y-D.

[00:03:18] So in your minds what are you thinking that this means?

[00:03:22] H-E-S-P-A-Y-D.

[00:03:25] Yes.

[00:03:26] H-P-H-E-S-P-S.

[00:03:31] See Y-D makes me think yard but I don't think you guys do yards up there like as in the

[00:03:38] as in like the customary system.

[00:03:40] Okay I think I just figured out what it actually means and Steve do you have a guess?

[00:03:45] Nope.

[00:03:47] Yeah I'm pretty stumped on this one.

[00:03:49] Initially I was like this guy is a vet he's a veterinarian and he made all his money

[00:03:56] spaying so it was like he spayed like that's where I got this car because he spayed in

[00:04:02] retrospect now that we talk it through it's probably he's paid like I got money bitch

[00:04:08] and I bought this fucking new Mustang.

[00:04:11] Oh B-Y-D yeah.

[00:04:14] Maybe it's a like double meaning thing where he's paid because he spayed.

[00:04:21] He gets paid because he spays.

[00:04:24] Yeah okay I'm with it.

[00:04:25] I buy it.

[00:04:26] Look honestly that's as good as anything else because I was coming up with yards

[00:04:30] and he is I was chopping that word up if it even is a word to some other stuff so

[00:04:37] I think I'll go with that he's paid because he gets spayed because he spays.

[00:04:44] I guess Steve we stalled enough with bullshit we have to talk about Princess

[00:04:49] Speed Showtime unfortunately.

[00:04:51] Uh getting hit by a truck is not going to get me out of this one.

[00:04:56] Oh no I mean you've already I've already punished you enough with the Backstreet

[00:05:00] Boys explanation of why they're back so I guess we can do this now.

[00:05:05] Okay I have a challenge to you Steve I dare you to explain the gameplay I dare you

[00:05:10] to give a gameplay summary of Princess Peach Showtime for the people.

[00:05:16] Well let's see your Princess Peach and you're in a theater

[00:05:22] and you change clothes then the gameplay changes based on what outfit you're wearing so

[00:05:28] it's Nintendo's Barbie game.

[00:05:31] Do Barbie games do that some of them?

[00:05:34] Okay I mean this this does it better but

[00:05:37] obviously the appeal of those games is to do that kind of stuff and look maybe that's a good place to start

[00:05:43] like we are clearly not the target audience for this.

[00:05:48] I think that's very clear but I think I want to ask you why aren't we the target audience

[00:05:54] for this because Nintendo was very good at having like games range from you know

[00:06:01] kids to adults to old people or whatever everyone can get something out of it whether

[00:06:05] it's difficulty, enjoyment, story, whatever but this game Steve I feel like is for literal children.

[00:06:12] That's a lot of what everyone was talking about oh it's a kids game we shouldn't expect much

[00:06:18] for a kids game they made this game for children I don't know but I think that's an easy just

[00:06:24] an easy way to write things off and expect less from things to be honest.

[00:06:28] Yep nailed it.

[00:06:30] That seems pretty tone deaf too because Nintendo knows that when they release these that you

[00:06:36] like Nintendo fans are still going to want to play this just because it's a peach themed

[00:06:41] game and they're using like the big Mario world characters.

[00:06:46] Yeah and so like that has mass appeal this isn't it's like Steve said it's not just a Barbie

[00:06:52] game that appeals almost exclusively to young girls or whatever and that's a demo I feel

[00:06:58] like Princess Peach should appeal to anybody because Mario games and whatever appeal to everybody

[00:07:03] right so it feels like a natural fit in this genuinely Kevin felt like I was playing a game

[00:07:09] like it was for toddlers and that's fine I guess but even within that Steve I don't

[00:07:17] think this game is very good.

[00:07:18] I don't think this game could be for toddlers Andre because they don't fucking talk in it.

[00:07:24] That's insane I cannot believe this game has no voice acting that's crazy.

[00:07:30] You're using a theater as your backdrop and nobody talks.

[00:07:35] I'm fucking acceptable.

[00:07:38] You know what though and okay and I've never been one to defend against this but people have

[00:07:43] been saying this about Nintendo since as early as Gamecube and rightfully so how come how come

[00:07:48] Zelda games don't have voice acting how come this is just like silent and people speak

[00:07:52] in gibberish and you know sometimes that's silly when we're talking about stuff like animal

[00:07:55] crossing yeah the point is a gibberish but then I'm like yeah you know maybe Wind Waker

[00:08:00] could have been fully voice acted that would have been nice but then you have the Nintendo

[00:08:04] defenders out there no it's more special if you but now what is it okay voice acting can

[00:08:09] be special too all right point is Princess Peach Showtime is the kind of game that needs this

[00:08:17] like you said it's a theater and you know what was also terrible they didn't even sell the theater

[00:08:22] stuff very well because like the very most you hear and I know you heard this too is when you

[00:08:27] find one of those little secret entrances and you press a she strikes a pose and you hear

[00:08:31] clapping for like a second like a microsoft that's the only audience participation that

[00:08:37] you hear there should be hooting and holler in and all sorts of recorded like shit get one

[00:08:43] of the laugh tracks from Bewitched I don't care like something anything to make it feel

[00:08:49] like you're actually on stage and they don't do that oh they make you sort of feel like you're on

[00:08:55] stage because I think they sort of understood the assignment go again because you're moving

[00:09:01] along stages and things and you are forced to sit through very long periods of them saying

[00:09:09] well not really saying remember because it's not voice acted flinging text in your face

[00:09:14] and you have to wait for that text to go away I complained about this in the Pokemon Scarlet

[00:09:20] Violet Times like okay I it's very annoying when you all do that here and but do this for every

[00:09:26] level and if you're one of those people that have to go back and find everything remember this

[00:09:31] is theater so you're not gonna you can't just go back and go looking for it you gotta

[00:09:36] do it all over again and that means people are gonna just go up to your face and be like

[00:09:41] talking air bubbles in your face and you gotta sit through it again the whole time because this is

[00:09:46] theater but not really it's very glacial it's like Wii U glacial I think that's the way I

[00:09:51] described it to you whenever we were playing it it feels like a Wii U game you know every game

[00:09:56] during that era feels so like like you said so it puts a lot upon you with those text bubbles

[00:10:03] and just like the loading times honestly if someone if this were an alternate dimension where

[00:10:09] Princess Peach Showtime deluxe this was with from like the Wii U times I wouldn't be surprised this is

[00:10:15] totally a product from that time they probably just sat on it because they knew Wii U was out

[00:10:20] the door and it's like well we don't have anything else to do so it sure runs like a Wii U game

[00:10:27] I'll tell you that much the performance sure feels like one

[00:10:31] and it's bad I don't know what the hell's going on sometimes it's running okay but a lot of

[00:10:37] times she's barely struggling to run across walk across the screen I what is going on I

[00:10:44] would test this thing well you know you know what really sucks is when you do like okay like the

[00:10:50] couple of like horse sequences or other there was a lot of auto scrolling parts in this game

[00:10:55] which was kind of weird but any of that stuff when that stuff starts chugging oh man it's like

[00:11:03] one of those horse ones I think one of the last horse one near the end was chug city

[00:11:08] that frame rate could not keep up and every time she transforms it's like in the teens the frame rate

[00:11:14] it's bad like okay I'm not saying this should be like some super animated sailor moon magical

[00:11:22] girl like even though it should by the way it should be that I was gonna say this absolutely

[00:11:27] should have been that okay you know no you're you're we you are correct okay I will concede

[00:11:32] that to you you were absolutely correct however even though it's not that you could at least make

[00:11:38] those transformation sequences look as good as possible and stylish as possible you can't

[00:11:45] put it out running in the teens and it just looks okay I mean just that's just not

[00:11:51] gonna get that across were they trying to where they trying to like push graphics when

[00:11:55] when this is chugging or was it just like disjointed where it was chugging you know

[00:11:59] as if it was just poorly optimized poorly optimized I don't think this game looks better than any

[00:12:06] better than super mario odyssey in that game runs fucking 60 so like I don't know what happened

[00:12:13] here I really don't know what happened either because with good field goofy theater funky

[00:12:19] scenarios that change genres as you go along this is their musical numbers this is their

[00:12:25] bread and butter they used to do this sort of thing when they worked at Konami they know what

[00:12:31] this this was I don't know what happened it's it's it's a big disappointment it's real again

[00:12:39] you know when this showed up in the directs we kept saying like what is this what even genre is this

[00:12:46] I you know and look I I do appreciate the uniqueness of letting you do various things like

[00:12:52] I like the detective peach thing where you get to do some light detectiving ooh shine your light on

[00:12:57] the oh by the way do you like how like you never lose enough hearts to actually be in danger of

[00:13:03] you can guess wrong really all you want it doesn't matter I can't say I guessed wrong enough

[00:13:09] times but well I'm just saying like you know even if okay so you have five hearts it's

[00:13:14] like there's five things in the room you can guess wrong all you want you're going to get the right

[00:13:19] thing so it's like I don't even know why they pretend like there's any danger because it's theater

[00:13:26] well it sure doesn't feel like it there is so okay I will give the game some credit there are

[00:13:31] some cool little theater touches I do like when they do the thing where the entire stage spins

[00:13:36] to the back you get like another scene you know that's fun right I liked again with the

[00:13:42] horses like that didn't run very well but whenever they have some props like that

[00:13:46] they do you can see the strings sometimes of the horses right because they're puppets

[00:13:51] they're very faint but you can see them the resolution is high enough to do that at least

[00:13:56] but you know at some point it felt very confused I and I want to know if you felt this way too

[00:14:00] like during the alien invasion level the UFOs just looked like real-ass UFOs they didn't look

[00:14:06] like props at all on a stage they didn't look like special effects because you know also in that stage

[00:14:13] they have like the fake fire the cardboard cut out fire lit by like the led lights you know what I mean

[00:14:18] flashing it's like oh okay here's some fire right and it's obviously fake and that's cool

[00:14:23] almost like paper Mario fire or something right but then you have the like I said the UFOs

[00:14:29] don't look like that they look like they're out of destroy all monsters or something like that

[00:14:32] well it's like okay well how was that possible on the stage I'm gonna do what you do when we do

[00:14:37] the bad movie things and probably give them too much credit okay uh madam grape as you may recall

[00:14:45] is our villain and she is invading the theater and blurring the line between theater and reality

[00:14:51] and I think what was going on was the further you go up to her uh stronghold or whatever

[00:14:59] the more that line was getting blurred because those scenarios were getting more and more threatening

[00:15:05] at least that's what I sort of think what was trying to happen otherwise you're right this would

[00:15:09] make no sense and is very stupid I mean that okay as bad as that theory is and you don't

[00:15:18] need to give this game too much credit of course I'm gonna play the bad cop this time

[00:15:22] I feel like they could have solved that with like a 10 second cutscene of like her conjuring

[00:15:29] UFOs or conjuring anything really right because we don't see her do that we just she's just like

[00:15:36] ooh I'm evil by the way I'm going to the top floor okay come get me you don't actually see

[00:15:40] or do anything evil we're just we're told this is happening because of these strange powers

[00:15:45] we don't actually she hurt the feelings of theater nerds what what greater crime is there

[00:15:52] it's just man not even one song and dance number not even one of like kick line nothing man come on

[00:16:00] the whole mermaid scenario is based around trying to find the singer how about how about you do

[00:16:06] all that and then you know you finally get this song you know yeah the lights dim and then

[00:16:12] leg julia

[00:16:22] I bet you could get that guy back to do anything he he clearly banged that out for five dollars

[00:16:27] um yeah you're right I mean that didn't come together either I you know I'm gonna be honest

[00:16:32] I completely forgot about the mermaid segment because it was so forgettable I was just like

[00:16:36] okay are they gonna make us do like the fake ass like the capcom were little mermaid game

[00:16:40] right but not really I thought they were gonna do the fake ass kingdom hearts thing and make us do a

[00:16:45] rhythm game oh Jesus Christ I'm so well that's one thing this game does not have you know I got it okay

[00:16:51] it is this might sound goofy my favorite thing to do in the game is decorating the cakes

[00:16:57] I don't know why I think that's the only gameplay part I truly enjoyed I like the music for that

[00:17:04] I don't know why or at least in between music for that

[00:17:08] yeah I think the music in this game is actually not bad I do I think I think it's not bad at all

[00:17:15] I think that's just the problem with this game there's a lot of things that you could see

[00:17:19] effort it doesn't come together the way it should yeah and then like I said with the

[00:17:24] performance some stuff just looks okay like with the ice skating stuff that ran like ass and like

[00:17:30] yeah it could have been cool it could have been cool to see or do these like you know these ice skating

[00:17:37] moves or whatever when you jump on the things on the floor or whatever like I get that that could be

[00:17:42] cool but if it runs that poorly it's never going to have an impact you're just distracted of how

[00:17:46] bad it looks I want to interject here because it seems like okay so most of the things that

[00:17:52] you guys are talking about is issues like they're obviously like very real and legitimate issues

[00:17:56] but they're kind of superficial to the gameplay if that makes sense so if we took out like the

[00:18:02] difficulty some of these like problems with the matching aesthetic performance all of the all of

[00:18:09] the things that you guys are critiquing do you think that was there's something like deep down

[00:18:14] there that if it didn't have those issues because it sounds like this this gameplay is

[00:18:18] like very ambiguous by design is there like a gem in there if they didn't have all this

[00:18:24] other bullshit like compounding these these problems or was it was it just like even without

[00:18:30] all of the things that you guys are critiquing was was this still going to kind of be a flop for you

[00:18:35] if it had you know some teeth to it and it ran well well Kevin what what does a gem need polish

[00:18:42] Nintendo is usually good at that it's an unpol I think what we have here is a very

[00:18:48] very unpolish gem this could have been great I really wanted this to be good but it's just not

[00:18:56] the way we're looking at this all of these little things together just make this not a

[00:19:01] very good game for anybody I think I don't know see to Kevin like okay so if this were the best

[00:19:06] version of itself that it can be would it be good it would definitely be more than decent

[00:19:12] and I would have really enjoyed it on that presentational level and the reason why I'm

[00:19:16] bitching so much about that is because in a game like this gameplay like let's let's be honest it's

[00:19:21] a little bit secondary you want to enjoy the theater and the like the spectacle of it right

[00:19:27] so like okay and the gameplay isn't that good like Steve you remember the kung fu part right

[00:19:34] where basically all you have to do is jam on the a button and you're going to win

[00:19:38] you barely have to time it with those like yeah imperial china from live alive this wasn't

[00:19:43] yeah yeah like you like a lot of that stuff is piss easy the ninja stuff like you can get caught all

[00:19:51] you want you just move back a few feet and then like yeah so like the gameplay stuff is not very

[00:19:56] interesting Kevin but it could be okay that it's not then interesting if everything else was good

[00:20:03] right then I would have said okay you know if you're just in it for the gameplay maybe

[00:20:07] it's not really that exciting but all this other pizzazz around it makes it a pretty good game

[00:20:12] and I feel like that's the kind of game it should be but it's not you're talking about that knock

[00:20:16] back in it being easy like if it did have you know just some like moderate difficulty would that be

[00:20:21] enough to like fix the gameplay no I think so I think so I'm gonna disagree I think so I'm surprised

[00:20:28] you guys went that way because Steve your answer was like you know there's like a very like rough gem

[00:20:33] at the at the core of this so is that like strictly like presentation centered they need

[00:20:40] I don't know I'm being very picky today I want my Nintendo games to be Nintendo we damn it I need

[00:20:46] all I needed all here for it for it to be this could have been amazing it is not I think with some

[00:20:53] added difficulty a few gameplay tweaks of like just just some more substance right I would

[00:21:00] forgive all the interruptions and see that's the thing if this game had voice acting it there

[00:21:05] wouldn't be any text bubbles and it wouldn't feel like interruptions it would feel like

[00:21:08] this entire flowing like oh let's go save this person oh this person's trapped over here instead

[00:21:13] of stopping the game every two seconds and telling you the stuff right it would feel a lot more

[00:21:17] organic I think and the cheese on offer is pretty good this this could have been this

[00:21:23] this could have been the kids is star fox 64 in my opinion if this was voice acting even though

[00:21:28] all these characters look almost the same with different hats on yeah but I again I could

[00:21:34] have forgiven that too but one thing I would have wanted and this would have gone a long way with me

[00:21:39] so like I said there's different outfits ninja cowboy etc right and there's like three or four

[00:21:44] levels of these outfits each I would have liked it and I said this to Steve if those segments

[00:21:50] had an overarching story okay so you do cowboy level one and then there's like a cliffhanger

[00:21:55] oh is she gonna is she gonna get out of this one this time and then you do next time you play

[00:21:59] the cowboy level it continues off of that or whatever instead of having like these like

[00:22:04] completely different scenarios that don't connect to each other again I wouldn't it's not necessarily

[00:22:09] bad that it doesn't do that but for me it would have been like fun to have something like that

[00:22:15] see I was at the mindset where I didn't mind that being the case but then I would have needed

[00:22:18] all the set pieces to be amazing and they were not we we already went into you know

[00:22:24] the mermaid section being dull as fuck but then you have the ninja sections where you're

[00:22:28] waking up a mountain or some kind of metal golem and you're breaking shit apart at the

[00:22:34] end of all the levels and like well that's fun as fuck and then the level ends and everyone cheers

[00:22:39] for you and then we're done having fun time for the best to chug along in the lobby again

[00:22:45] would it have hurt them to make one gasp sound from the audience like when something happens

[00:22:50] like come on guys just anything I'm not asking for much there anyway I think I

[00:22:57] I think I'd bitched all I want to bitch if you got anything left Steve in the tank go go for it

[00:23:03] no that's that's that's it for me okay that's it for princess Pete show time

[00:23:21] all right it's my turn uh oh yeah I need I okay I got a lot to say here

[00:23:42] I played Castlevania aria of sorrow a few years ago I don't remember was that on fine

[00:23:47] timer was that a previous creative endeavor game I think uh it was here I think it was very on early

[00:23:54] with us okay yeah two three ish years ago so maybe it was just when that's just when Castlevania

[00:24:01] Advanced Collection came out and then you were playing you just happened to be playing it just

[00:24:05] happened quote unquote per usual be playing it on your uh real deal game all right we don't

[00:24:11] need to we don't need to we're still surprised that you didn't come on here with the

[00:24:15] super princess peach and her magic vibrator so it it crossed my mind

[00:24:23] anyways okay back back to Castlevania I loved aria of sorrow like I remember ranting and raving about

[00:24:29] it um and and at the time I remember Andre saying you got to play dawn of sorrow it's it's like 100

[00:24:35] percent worthy as a sequel um so I've always had this on my list to play in the back of my head

[00:24:39] and I was really looking forward to it as this like real gem that I just knew was going to be great

[00:24:44] when you know I decide it's time I just you know I had very high expectations now it hits the same

[00:24:52] high highs that aria did as well as aria did but there are like some incredible lows that aria

[00:25:00] didn't have and I and I really don't think it's as good as of a game and I know I know Andre

[00:25:05] was kind of a dawn of sorrow truth or soul let him it's my favorite Castlevania game straight up

[00:25:10] it's my favorite one okay well let me start through my list here because I cannot like whatsoever see

[00:25:18] how you would rate this over aria of sorrow um so one one smaller critique the movement um and I

[00:25:24] don't remember when when I played aria if there was a soul that gave you a run ability

[00:25:28] but I never felt restricted by the movement and it's it's not that big of a deal because it

[00:25:33] doesn't it doesn't hamper combat um and and the movement you have in this game feels appropriate

[00:25:39] for the way that combat was designed but just for general traversing the castle it feels a little

[00:25:47] too slow it's not debil it's not debilitating um but but definitely as I was playing there was

[00:25:53] numerous times where I was just like fuck this would feel a little bit better if I could move

[00:25:57] a little bit faster it just it feels a little plotting not that big of a deal um I definitely

[00:26:06] didn't feel that way ramp ramping up in in um frustrations the fucking drawing the seals

[00:26:15] so so a little a little understanding of what this is um there's five seals as you play

[00:26:21] through the game and you you know find them like items basically and you have to memorize them

[00:26:26] you draw around a circle that shows up on the touchscreen and you only use them when you defeat

[00:26:32] a boss so whatever the like most recent seal you got uh is is the seal you have to draw when you

[00:26:39] finally kill a boss if you don't draw it fast enough and especially with the later seals you

[00:26:44] gotta draw them pretty fucking fast um the boss will not die and it will get some more health

[00:26:49] and you have to continue fighting it I bet you there was four or five times that I lost

[00:26:55] to bosses just because okay for one I can't fucking draw these seals with my chubby little fingers it

[00:27:02] doesn't work I need to get the fucking stylus out so I'm already like all fucking ramped up and shaky

[00:27:07] from fighting the boss and I'm like yes I finally fucking did it and I'm fumbling around like a

[00:27:12] dipshit trying to pull out my seal or trying to okay this is breathe breathe one time

[00:27:21] Kevin while you're pulling out your stylus or whatever it is you're pulling out there

[00:27:25] this is where I'll admit that this was uh one of my favorite advices for having the jumbo

[00:27:32] styluses that they sold after margillie you know the clicky ones no was it just me that almost

[00:27:38] I had one of those no I had one of those I played a lot of sudoku with that thing

[00:27:43] like okay but why why why do I need to like worry about how I have prepared my fucking stylus

[00:27:51] to play this goddamn game like because my other alternative and I I literally I considered this

[00:27:58] was when I first get to a boss pull the stylus out and try and juggle it like between a couple

[00:28:03] fingers as I do the entire fucking boss fight so it's ready to go so I can draw the stupid

[00:28:08] fucking seal now like okay the seal thing adds zero value for the gameplay 100%

[00:28:17] zero value and only detracts from it it's frustrating this game works so well on the ds it's a very good

[00:28:24] fit with having the map on the top screen the resolution makes it look nice it's good

[00:28:30] it's already on the ds you don't need to shoehorn touchscreen functionality for every

[00:28:34] fucking game for the sake of it I hate it it did nothing good

[00:28:40] Kevin you watched the intro right soma drew the goddamn seal with his hand and then locked up the

[00:28:48] fucking werewolf that's the whole thing of the gasifying this with the fucking macguffin

[00:28:54] that they inserted so that you can have to have an excuse to draw the fucking seals like come on

[00:29:01] Kevin don't try to reason with the don't try to reason with the Castlevania the adventure like

[00:29:10] oh yeah okay I like I like all the castle well not all the Castlevania look I get that you may

[00:29:17] not like this I have no idea what you're so upset about this and I that's what I'm flabbergasted by

[00:29:24] I get that you may not think this mechanic is good or you think it's shoehorned or whatever

[00:29:28] fine is it I can't I never die losing boss fights because I couldn't get my ds out or my stylus out

[00:29:36] fast enough and have to start from the start of the boss fight again that's frustrating and that's

[00:29:40] not good game design once you once this happens to you what you fight one boss and you know this

[00:29:46] is gonna happen maybe get your stylus out when you fight a boss I mean I don't know what to

[00:29:50] tell that why I have to like would you want me to put my stylus in my belly button so it's

[00:29:54] ready to quick draw like it's stupid I mean I can't tell you I can't tell you what I did 20 years ago

[00:30:00] but I definitely didn't have a problem doing this I don't know your reasoning is that it was your

[00:30:05] enjoyment of this game is contingent on the main character drawing a seal with his hand

[00:30:12] that's not the reason why I said I didn't say that's why I have okay I don't I don't think

[00:30:17] it's good or bad it just exists I don't I've never thought about drawing the seals enough to

[00:30:22] ever have a strong feeling about it one way or another if they weren't they are fine they are

[00:30:27] there so fine I just one of the times where I am factually right and you are wrong I don't like it

[00:30:36] and I deserve I mean fine I I've never heard anyone have this stronger reaction to this

[00:30:42] I hear and fucking tea if you start like googling around the internet for this game I am not the

[00:30:47] only one because it's bullshit I guarantee there is a shit with those idiots have

[00:30:52] to say on the game FAQs or something or whatever he likes Castlevania the adventure

[00:30:59] are we just okay is that gonna be my he doesn't care

[00:31:04] is that gonna be my I don't know I just seems like a wild thing to get this upset

[00:31:08] all right well we'll move on because I still have yet one more level of frustration with

[00:31:13] this game to move up there's a boss called Girgoth this is this is less than halfway through

[00:31:21] the game and was by far the the worst part of the game I died probably 15 times on this boss

[00:31:28] and that is fine on its own there were a this is there some of the bosses in this game are hard

[00:31:34] and some of the other ones I struggled with to like like genuinely struggled with you know going

[00:31:40] back and back and back and trying and trying and that's part of the fun because there is

[00:31:45] learning those patterns and just like honing that rhythm of the fight is satisfying and it's a big

[00:31:51] part of this game but this Girgoth battle was not that I truly believe that specifically this boss

[00:31:59] fight falls in the category of poor game design because for one the boss is huge and I just I

[00:32:05] really don't feel like his attacks work with the move set that you have it feels truly like

[00:32:12] cheap and bullshitty and it never felt it never felt right there was not one other boss

[00:32:20] again like I said I was getting frustrated with other bosses but it was always like

[00:32:24] I need to do better on this and I get that and you know if I want to play this game I need to

[00:32:29] get good this one I literally considered at one point putting the game down because I was so

[00:32:36] fucking frustrated by this and what's even more frustrating is this boss was the boss directly after

[00:32:45] a boss that I had stopped and I went into my notes app on my phone where I keep all my like random

[00:32:50] assorted thoughts for the show and I had something like you know great mechanics unforgettable

[00:32:56] boss fight the boss before it like really visually interesting it had a very unique concept and I

[00:33:02] was like damn this game has bosses locked down followed by this bullshit I I mean look I'm going

[00:33:09] to be real honest this sounds hell in it picky we're talking about one boss you didn't like and

[00:33:13] some seals which nobody has ever bitched about before in their entire life I just feel like this

[00:33:19] is really over the top for just just for a couple things if you ask me these these are

[00:33:25] these are big things as I played this game again like I said and I'm not trying to be over

[00:33:29] dramatic I almost did stop playing it because I felt like I genuinely lost some respect for this

[00:33:37] game because of that boss fight because I felt like it was so so poorly designed the answer to

[00:33:44] everything in any game past 19th Castlevania game past 1997 is to just grind a few levels you

[00:33:50] couldn't grind this guy out it's and you know what I could have I'm not saying that wasn't

[00:33:57] on the table but it absolutely doesn't stop it from being bullshitty it was like genuinely

[00:34:05] poorly designed I don't remember it like I said I played this game when it came out so I mean

[00:34:12] it's been almost 20 years now I couldn't tell you at this point but I mean you know I guess

[00:34:19] I'll take your word for it since you've played it much more recently than me but I just can't

[00:34:23] imagine one boss where at a game where you have love infinite levels being that big a deal

[00:34:29] well and again I'm not okay I'll get there I'm not poo-pooing this game entirely I will get there

[00:34:36] one other thing I wanted to know and this is this is less of a criticism necessarily this

[00:34:42] game has three endings there's two bad endings where the credits roll and you go back to the

[00:34:48] title screen followed by the real ending and I don't know that I dislike this because especially

[00:34:53] from like you know looking at this game critically it was very interesting but I don't know that I

[00:34:59] like seen like gameplay value in doing it that way where because and here's why because I think

[00:35:07] if somebody was not paying really any attention you know if they're just playing the game

[00:35:12] they're not reading the text and they're trying to blow through it you very well could have

[00:35:15] just been like oh that was like a weak ass boss fight at the end it was kind of a weak ending to

[00:35:19] the game and moved on now that that's definitely user error and if you are really paying any attention

[00:35:26] to what's going on it's pretty apparent that that is not the proper end of the game

[00:35:31] but also they don't it's not sorry go ahead no I was just thinking to myself because I remember

[00:35:38] thinking that was one of the funniest things I was I had ever seen because it was so obviously

[00:35:42] fake and then they have that what Julius and whoever have that conversation after as well

[00:35:48] if only he would have wore that thing that I'm highlighting in green right here and then let's

[00:35:53] roll the fake ass credits okay so that was what what I thought was a little bit interesting too

[00:36:01] for both of those fake out endings there there wasn't there wasn't anything before those

[00:36:07] endings that would have given you any understanding of how to like avoid hitting that bad ending and

[00:36:12] like play directly through to the good ending yes however I will take this approach that they took

[00:36:19] in dawn of sorrow way more than aria of sorrow we're good fucking luck figuring out what to do

[00:36:26] I dare anyone to figure that out without looking it up I you can't you cannot I I will not

[00:36:33] believe anybody who tells me that they did okay what was and I don't remember that I don't remember

[00:36:40] having to look anything up in that game I'm not saying it didn't happen it very well could have

[00:36:44] what was what was so what is at the end of aria see it's been a couple years now since the

[00:36:49] collection came out you had to wear certain souls you had to wear a certain combination

[00:36:55] of souls I think yeah and you would have no idea what they are there's like very vague clues

[00:37:03] as to what they are but they're no help they may as well be from like castlevania 2 simon's

[00:37:08] quest kind of clues and they're and it's like so everyone I know looked this up at least in dawn

[00:37:14] of sorrow I could just do it they just told me what to do I'll take that you know I get it

[00:37:19] in 2005 it's not hard to look it up either but at the same time it's like also this lets you see

[00:37:25] the bad ending like I think it's I think it's I think there's a value in seeing for sure in my

[00:37:31] opinion so I don't know I didn't mind it but yeah yeah again I don't I'm not I'm not condemning

[00:37:38] it for this it's just it is like to like evaluate it for the show is interesting because of the

[00:37:44] way they structured it um so yeah like I said um I I don't like overall I 90% of the time when I was

[00:37:53] playing this game I was I was very much enjoying it the frustrations I had were like very fucking

[00:37:58] frustrating um to me and felt very real at the time um art wise I don't think it really

[00:38:06] match it looks good on the DS um with the increased resolution I do think that aria

[00:38:12] looks better with that with the pixel art but I think that's very much just a preference thing

[00:38:18] they did some really good work um with the sub areas of the castles there's this one where it's

[00:38:24] like the residence area of the castle and it's got this like a lot of it's like a playroom

[00:38:29] so I and I specifically loved there's this like fat clown and when you kill it it poofs into

[00:38:35] this like very brightly colored like splatters of paint kind of like stuff like that was

[00:38:40] really fucking cool um excellent stuff the music through this game is super good um there's a theme

[00:38:46] for the wizardly wizardry lab um and it was it was very much a standout actually I um sidebar

[00:38:53] I will I'll find that and I'll send it we should do that for our like weekly music at some some

[00:38:58] point for for the show hey kevin want to know what my favorite castlevania song of all time is

[00:39:04] is it is it the wizardry lab it absolutely is that song that song is called that song is called

[00:39:09] Dracula's tears believe it or not so yeah it was it was it's like interesting music too because it's

[00:39:16] got like it's it's got like hints of like sounding sinister overall it sounds like it's got this

[00:39:22] like hopeful vibe to it um but it also has like jazzy elevator music to it yes it's so fucking

[00:39:30] incredible it is an incredible song it's one of the best songs of all time I that is yeah absolutely

[00:39:37] good I'm glad we're on the same same page as that because as soon as I got in that area and I heard

[00:39:42] this like it was very recognizable like fuck this is specifically good um same as aria this game

[00:39:49] I really like the like cycle of going back and forth between you know I feel super overpowered

[00:39:55] and then I'm like you know oh fuck I'm never going to be able to get through this area

[00:39:59] and then I'm overpowered again and you're constantly like kind of going back and forth

[00:40:03] between those feelings and that's really satisfying and addictive um and even just yeah so like the

[00:40:09] idea of trying to like if you if you want to like look at a game critically I feel like this

[00:40:14] game there's so much meat on the bone to evaluate um yeah the parts that are so good

[00:40:22] make those parts that are bad that much more frustrating because it's it's detracting from

[00:40:27] something that's so so like well executed otherwise um overall for them and I hate saying this because

[00:40:35] I almost always say you know it's it's always better for a sequel to try to do something

[00:40:41] different from the game it's following even if it's even if it fails but honestly I do wish

[00:40:46] that this would have just been more aria of sorrow with different settings in the castle

[00:40:52] sorry not sorry that is uh I mean I always I always put Steve's bad opinions in the top

[00:41:00] tier of fine time that might that that last line has to be maybe uh it's gotta be up there for you

[00:41:05] it's pretty bad do you that's a terrible idea general consensus is that this game is better

[00:41:10] than aria of sorrow because I doubt that it is yes absolutely no doubt in my mind I honestly

[00:41:17] couldn't tell you but I do have a quick question for Kevin do you have the original case or the

[00:41:22] kanami the best case where they put the the picture of the case around a white frame

[00:41:29] uh it tilted it a bit I feel deeply exposed Steve I played this on an R4 card

[00:41:36] unbelievable okay we we need to take a break and we can talk about Kevin's behavior give it give

[00:41:44] us a second whoa we're not we're not showering you're that mad no we're done fine time

[00:42:06] all right we're back I tried to whip Kevin into shape but he's unwippable he's just not a very

[00:42:16] wippable person but I tried we were going oh my god we're gonna talk about this indie world we're

[00:42:22] gonna do the highlights per usual um is you know just kind of blow through some of them Steve let's

[00:42:27] will you be our indie world host for the day yeah sure and uh what better place to start

[00:42:33] than the beginning they showed off little kitty big city uh this went from no time anywhere at all

[00:42:39] to opener an indie world because it's coming out soon ish I kind of want this you're a kitty in a

[00:42:45] big city and you're doing bullshit cats cat stuff to find your family I guess it looks like it'll

[00:42:52] scratch a few which is that you know ha ha ha that stray will not you know back then you

[00:42:58] might remember me complaining that oh you're the cat is incidental you no one seems to care that

[00:43:04] you're a cat here everyone seems to care that you're a cat I'm I'm I'm I I like that well thank

[00:43:11] you for reiterating your worst take on fine time after Kevin just had his both of you are on a

[00:43:16] record pace today I guess I should pull out one of mine soon enough it's taking taking every

[00:43:21] ounce of restraint from Steve to not bring up junk drawer sorting game yeah that's fine I

[00:43:26] mean but I got bigger fish to fry like yars rising yeah you know you remember yars revenge well here

[00:43:32] we have yars rising I would love to respect that this new Atari is trying to be back as

[00:43:38] opposed to the other Atari that's like hmm I'd love to open up some hotels and invent a cryptocurrency

[00:43:45] and then not have that like this this Atari is trying to be a game company and they're trying

[00:43:51] to give it an honest attempt but I'm really not sure reimagining one of their best games as a search

[00:43:57] action with a four spoken esch chatty protagonist was the project to green light especially from

[00:44:03] way forward and especially given way forwards recent track record I mean I like to wait I like

[00:44:10] Mummy D mastered a bunch but since then eh I'm not really fooling anybody with this I'm buying

[00:44:15] this for like five bucks aren't I? Mummy D master was in 2017 or something. It was.

[00:44:23] Yeah you know me I see way forward I'm out no thank you I'll just pretend I never saw it looks

[00:44:29] like crap no thanks. I think the trailer even opened with a so let me get this straight.

[00:44:36] You might wonder how I got in this situation or one of those.

[00:44:40] It's me. Yar. By the way you said everyone remembers Yars Revenge nobody remembers that shit.

[00:44:48] Everyone of a certain age that listens to this show.

[00:44:53] You're right I keep forgetting our demographic is actually like people are age so yeah.

[00:44:56] If the demographic is people are age they should know what Yars Revenge is and if they don't

[00:45:00] then we need to rehaul our whole demo we need to do market research bad.

[00:45:10] No I think they do you're correct fine you're right again.

[00:45:14] Otherwise we might have to refine ourselves and like the next game the personality test game.

[00:45:22] I don't know me and Andre enjoy some robots trying to find a sense of self in our time listen

[00:45:27] to our AD police episode today. I think the game is pretty chill looking in its melancholy

[00:45:34] I'll probably give it a chance. Looks all right I'd like the art style that's

[00:45:38] half the battle for me so I'll give it a shot. I think a game like this kind of needs the

[00:45:45] art style and so does a game like Anton Blast and we got to play the demo.

[00:45:52] Folks I want to be here for the Wario likes but I feel like the demo felt a bit on the

[00:45:59] rougher side and some elements were a bit off I'm sure some my stranger quibbles of control

[00:46:06] will be ironed out before release which is in November that's a lot of time but I feel like the

[00:46:11] game is very loud in terms of sound and on screen effects like it's almost like it's its job to

[00:46:18] be loud. I appreciate what they want to do with this I really do and I really think there's

[00:46:24] something really special cooking here but I almost feel like it could be drowned out by how

[00:46:29] loud it is. I really would like this just be me trying an early demo and have it turn out to be

[00:46:35] great by the fall or whenever this is actually coming. I was actually I was really impressed

[00:46:40] by this demo. I was I thought the sound design was outstanding it had these like it was loud

[00:46:46] you're right but it's supposed to be loud it was like really loud sound effects with those

[00:46:50] like really loud voice clips and the music was like loud too not just like in volume but

[00:46:56] just like loud as you were trying to describe and it's like over the top in a way that doesn't

[00:47:02] sound like cacophonous you know where it's like I need to like stop listening to this

[00:47:07] it's really great the gameplay is as wariozzy might expect especially they're clearly taking

[00:47:12] after wario land 4 especially with all the rotation and scaling effects those are completely

[00:47:16] gameboy advance totally not even super nintendo but gameboy advance like specifically and

[00:47:23] the only thing I might say I hope it doesn't fall in love with its moveset too much because like for

[00:47:30] instance why do I have to jump and then press a to butt slam to go down a pipe why do I have to

[00:47:37] do that I can just jump up to a pipe and like go into it if it's above me why do I have to slam

[00:47:44] myself into it if it's below me can't I just like press down or something like a mario pipe

[00:47:49] so that's those are the kinds of things that I don't want it to fall to in love with its bullshit

[00:47:55] because right now I feel like it might be a little bit too much like that but even if it is

[00:48:00] I feel like it might be one of those nice momentum collecting score attack games like a

[00:48:06] timbo the badass elephant or you know something similar like that I mean if I'm being honest

[00:48:11] even my sound quibbles I could probably just doctor with the whole the you know volume

[00:48:17] sliders you know I don't usually mess with it that much but this might be the one time where

[00:48:21] I'm a cranky old man I'm like we'll just move this down to here and ah it sounds normal did you guys

[00:48:28] feel like did you guys feel like it was just a little bit like messy with everything that was

[00:48:33] going on screen like they need to like just hone that in a little bit it is messy but I

[00:48:39] think it's by design I think it's supposed to look that way I don't think I don't think it

[00:48:43] needs to rain it in turning off screen shake helped oh okay that's a that's a good it just it

[00:48:49] just it felt a little like overwhelmingly chaotic perhaps there are a couple games where they do get

[00:48:57] too crazy with the screen shake I did not feel like this is one of them I have turned off screen

[00:49:00] shaking games before this is not one where I would do that so something that I don't think any

[00:49:06] amount of help is gonna do on switches Europa I really like the idea I goofed around with

[00:49:12] it for however long but this isn't a game for switch I hope they gave this guy the guy seemed

[00:49:18] very impassioned when he was talking about I hope they gave him a switch to dev kit because I can't

[00:49:23] play it on this it's looking mighty rough and so like yeah this is like a it was like a I saw it

[00:49:31] in the indie direct and it was indie world rather and it was like a you know what chill

[00:49:36] exploratory look an adventure oh here's these big landscapes just kind of ah you know just

[00:49:41] just fly around cool you know it looks dreamlike and fun I load up on switch and it looks like but

[00:49:48] it also kind of runs like but so it's like you know what let me see and there was a demo on steam

[00:49:53] so I tried it on the steam deck I cheated I tried it on steam deck and that's the good stuff

[00:49:59] yeah that ran well it looked great the extra resolution really made that grass and stuff

[00:50:04] pop the wind effects and everything there was like reflections on the surface of the water

[00:50:10] it was great looking switch so if this is a good game but I can't recommend people play the

[00:50:17] version that they saw in the indie world demo this would have been a demo I would have played at a

[00:50:23] New York comic art or something like that and like this game is not coming out for almost

[00:50:27] another year like oh okay I clearly they have a lot of time to work on this this isn't bad

[00:50:33] for this stage of development yeah that's what I thought about Sonic 2006 when I went to E3

[00:50:44] I didn't get around to the demo so I'm just saying this based off of this trailer did you

[00:50:50] guys get the sense that this was very inspired just world design wise by the aesthetic of

[00:50:54] Breath of the Wild and Tears of the Kingdom obviously different kinds of game I just I felt

[00:50:59] like it kind of shared that identity a little bit uh I didn't really get that Steve no why because it

[00:51:08] has colors in it every game that has colors in it is going to be I mean just like the music in

[00:51:15] that trailer felt Breath of the Wild like just seeing the like making like those blocks he

[00:51:21] was jumping on up here felt very like if the blocks themselves looked like tears of the

[00:51:26] kingdom esque you know what you know what I did think though because you start you do start in

[00:51:31] that cave and then you have to make your way out of that cave into like the world I will say that

[00:51:36] maybe right but not like the actual world though oh no I feel like everybody starts

[00:51:42] here in a cave now even the horizon the first horizon started you out in a cave

[00:51:47] you they started you out as a nine-year-old

[00:51:50] and I mean like I feel like that's a bit different and then you then you grow up into the Aloy

[00:51:59] anyway no I didn't really get that vibe you know what I am condemning though

[00:52:03] Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Splintered Fate it's a rogue like that you

[00:52:11] dungeon crawler thing for Nintendo Switch that you play with your friends

[00:52:15] I think as of this recording it came out today apparently this was on Apple Arcade

[00:52:21] you can tell because it kind of looks like I don't want to blame it on that though because

[00:52:26] mobile gaming is getting better but this doesn't look good but Audrey dungeon crawler

[00:52:34] rogue like TMNT should be one of the most day one things there is but not what it looks like this

[00:52:41] not after all the games we played last year listen to our episode about that

[00:52:46] not not interested this doesn't look good I just can't and although I'm still confused by the

[00:52:53] ongoing popularity of Cat Quest 3 yeah Cat Quest 3 they made three of these now I have never

[00:52:59] played any of these but people keep buying them I'm assuming that's what's going on because now

[00:53:04] there is three Kevin is your kid playing them no but but I actually my daughter I that if I bought

[00:53:12] that when Cat Quest 1 was on for like a dollar as it seems like it is fucking 90% of the time and

[00:53:18] I think she would be the audience for Cat Quest for sure so one of these days I'll report back

[00:53:26] Cat Quest for being a dollar on Switch is like the Nino Cooney of PSN always being like 799

[00:53:34] it's always on sale and full price is always still like 59 99 but no it's always like 899

[00:53:43] or something on PSN like every time you log on but no I didn't even know there's a cat

[00:53:48] quest too so this was news to me that there was a three they had their usual sizzle reel

[00:53:54] handful of games that some people knew existed one and the thing for

[00:53:58] another Crab's treasure getting a date blah blah blah one thing that stood out to me and I think

[00:54:02] it sort of did to Kevin too was a shim I'm choosing to believe that's how it's pronounced because it

[00:54:07] didn't get a segment of its own skim sure why not you're a little blob that's trying to live in

[00:54:14] shadows and the real world and you I'm assuming you don't live exist outside of shadows so good

[00:54:20] sounds pretty one trick but it sounds like something I'd buy or try for real cheap

[00:54:26] yeah that's that's exactly what I thought it looks fun it looks like it'd be enjoyable but

[00:54:30] yeah I think it would wear out its welcome pretty quick see I'm assuming skim because he seems like

[00:54:34] he's kind of like skimming through the shadows yeah I see it now I thought it said schism so I

[00:54:41] I'm completely off base although they didn't skim on the one more game with their steam world

[00:54:51] heist too I did not have this on my radar at all I love steam world heist one I'll probably

[00:54:57] have to replay it again to refresh myself but it's the sort of side scrolling tactics game with the

[00:55:04] robots in sort of space where you shoot each other in the face for points and you shoot hats off the

[00:55:10] thing I can't wait let's keep shooting the hats off of robots and adding them to our inventory I

[00:55:16] can't wait this is probably was very cool on this one it looked a lot like tropical freeze

[00:55:23] that had cell shading injected into it

[00:55:29] you guys just look at me like I'm stupid I got nothing on the steam world that was Steve he left

[00:55:35] you he gave you the dead fish don't give me guys such a solid and gold deep thoughts here and

[00:55:41] every just I don't know jack shit about steam world the steam world like I don't either I just

[00:55:46] I just I seen the trailer and I was like this looks pretty that's my that's my own it does

[00:55:52] look pretty and you know what this was a pretty good indie world it was so good that I actually

[00:55:56] compiled the list of games for me to go through this time unlike last time where we just I didn't

[00:56:02] even bother and Andrew's like there was an indie world no this time I forced you all to go through

[00:56:09] so that was good it was a good show better than usual for sure

[00:56:14] so

[00:56:38] just in time for everybody to pay their taxes the other week

[00:56:41] Nintendo announced on April 15th that they will not be at Gamescom this year saying

[00:56:46] Gamescom is a great event and each year we evaluate whether Nintendo should participate or not

[00:56:51] after careful consideration from all perspectives we made the decision not to be president at Gamescom

[00:56:56] 2024 players will have opportunities to try try out Nintendo switch games at other events

[00:57:02] throughout the year no we won't we're gonna we're gonna go to packs and they're gonna have

[00:57:08] a booth that has fucking Princess Peach Showtime or something from six months ago at that point now

[00:57:13] I guess that's what I'm really wondering about is this a one-time awkward happenstance resulting

[00:57:18] of a transition to switch to or is this a greater sign that Nintendo is never coming to any of these

[00:57:24] shows ever again no I just don't think they have anything because I think we're we are about to get

[00:57:31] really really interesting I think and I felt this way ever since they skipped out on the

[00:57:36] Winter Direct which we did not have yes we had a partner direct and that's not the same thing

[00:57:41] okay a real ass Nintendo Direct we have not had this year but endless ocean oh wow endless ocean

[00:57:48] luminous or whatever cool can't wait to explore the ocean at fucking 720p at 30 frames a second

[00:57:54] that's so exciting anyway wow I don't know why it was just so mean to endless ocean I'm sorry

[00:58:00] geez I'm sorry endless ocean luminous point is just for that it's coming on to the show

[00:58:06] oh please the only sane answer to this is that they're stockpiling for switch too it's the only

[00:58:11] thing that makes sense in that regard so in that regard since we don't know anything past Luigi's

[00:58:17] Mansion 2 when is that supposed to come out the summer or something June late spring early summer

[00:58:22] we could be in for one of those infamous Nintendo periods where there's just jack shit for nine

[00:58:27] months where they just hoard for the next thing and I was hoping they would avoid that

[00:58:32] because it seemed like they were going to but now it doesn't seem like they're going to

[00:58:36] when does paper Mario come out thousand and end of May they got they got endless ocean at the

[00:58:41] beginning of May and paper Mario at the end of May it's weird I don't I don't understand it really

[00:58:48] felt like they had this under control this time maybe the the only thing I could think of is if

[00:58:55] like they're really planning some shit for like a summer games fest or something or

[00:58:59] they really want to have some sort of reveal this summer I don't know but right now it feels kind of

[00:59:07] barren yeah yeah because we don't know and and here's the thing unlike before where we didn't know

[00:59:15] it's like no the next direct is coming then we're going to know a whole bunch of shit and that

[00:59:18] kept happening now right now I'm not convinced that's going to happen I think after Luigi's

[00:59:24] Mansion 2 we just may be a no man's land I mean there's a bunch of things on the partner direct

[00:59:30] I'm looking forward to but there is nothing from Nintendo after Luigi's Mansion 2 that's

[00:59:34] your prime for yeah okay I'll believe it when they finally show it that's for Switch 2 we all

[00:59:40] fucking know it come on I think it's going to be on both like Twilight Princess and Breath of

[00:59:46] the Wild before they're going to make good on it and being on they're going to put the

[00:59:51] so-so version on Switch but look at all the stuff it does on Switch 2 you guys yeah it's

[00:59:57] don't you know you can't talk about that in front of Kevin he's going to get triggered again

[01:00:01] about about Twilight Princess we coming out first yeah you know that I'm trying to be silently

[01:00:09] triggered but now I can add Dona's Dona Saro seals to the fucking mix Jesus Christ

[01:00:18] fucking just as legitimate he's going to send the Christmas package this year and it's going to

[01:00:23] have a lot of pentagrams and pencil on it please I love that shit I don't know if we'll get through

[01:00:29] the USPS but please yes you guys are going to be on a list for sure so everybody everybody's

[01:00:34] squarely thinking early 2025 switch to at this point we've we've abandoned hope for late 2024

[01:00:40] I've abandoned hope for 2024 Steve I want it to be 2024 but it's looking like 2025 they

[01:00:48] would have had to say something by now yeah and then and this direct around this time would have

[01:00:54] unless something happens like next week or something which I don't see then yeah 2025

[01:00:59] unfucking fortunately well you know what we're going to have all of this extra money from

[01:01:07] no nintendo games to buy so um actually somebody has a good idea what you guys can do with that

[01:01:14] that money former former blizzard investment opportunity what is it what is it oh good good

[01:01:21] let me let me let blizzard let former blizzard president mike ebara ebara is that right

[01:01:27] I think suggested the option to leave a 10 or 20 dollar tip on games so he said when I beat a game

[01:01:36] there are some that just leave me in awe of how amazing the experience was at the end of the

[01:01:41] game I've often thought I wish I could give these folks another 10 or 20 dollars because it was worth

[01:01:47] more than my initial 70 dollars and they didn't try to nickel and die me for every second holy

[01:01:55] fuck uh who wow um I feel like in recent times rich people have been really brazen about trying

[01:02:06] to get us to give them even more of our money have you guys seen that article recently about

[01:02:10] how we should tip our landlords you remember that article from like fucking new york post or some rag

[01:02:16] I think that was written by a landlord yeah well of course it had to be published for like for click

[01:02:22] bait reasons though no that was like a legit no but like that wasn't like for if it was like from

[01:02:27] buzzfeed or something sure but like this was like a legit okay yeah i'm not saying like

[01:02:32] huffington post doesn't like have clickbait of course they do i'm just saying that like

[01:02:36] I feel like people actually think this like and by the way I will tip indie developers or independent

[01:02:45] music artists like all the time if your album is like five bucks on bandcamp I'll very often make it

[01:02:51] like 10 bucks if I like what I hear you know especially if I bought stuff from you before

[01:02:57] like and there was a recent humble bubble that I got that was like I think 26 dollars

[01:03:02] there's where I was buying all the anime titty games you remember that one I was like I want to get

[01:03:05] these like you know like O'Neil Chonbara and like you know like shit like that right I bought all

[01:03:11] that shit it was like 26 dollars I think I made it 40 because it's humble bundle and I wanted to

[01:03:16] give to like a cause not some fucking executive who's who's gonna buy like an overpriced coffee

[01:03:23] with my like extra 10 or 20 dollars fuck them like I'll give it to people who where I know

[01:03:28] where it's going and I want them to have it not Nintendo or Activision you know yeah I'm completely

[01:03:36] with you they can suck a dick um there there I've overall there's been a big problem with

[01:03:42] tipping culture going off the rails because it's turned into like very like obviously companies

[01:03:49] just pushing responsibility for um customers to pay their their employees to supplement

[01:03:57] in like very unethical ways I feel like this guy should be blacklisted for for making this statement

[01:04:04] because I really do hate it luckily I don't think this is ever going this would never be actual

[01:04:10] actually considered because I would put real world money on a fairly sharp bet that platforms

[01:04:18] do not want to touch this with the 10 foot pole it's if they they would fucking go so badly

[01:04:24] can you imagine if if Sony actually implemented a tipping feature into the PlayStation store

[01:04:30] people would be fucking wild there's just no there's just no way that's this not that is not a thing

[01:04:37] that can exist could you imagine a year and a half two years from now we got our switch twos

[01:04:43] we're playing Splatoon 4 and big man's cousin huge guy is out there saying hey if you're enjoying

[01:04:50] the game so far consider leaving some money it'd be so fresh if you did I'd be pissed

[01:05:00] well so what what's huge man if big man says hey what does huge man say yo yo yeah then the parentheses

[01:05:07] okay it's it's disgusting that I mean I guess this sort of spins back into maybe games just

[01:05:16] need to cost different things but I don't know I see you bring us up about dynamic pricing law and I

[01:05:24] always say like we have that I think we do have that not every game is $70 or $60 or even 50

[01:05:32] right like and not just indie games I think I feel like there's a lot of things that do do that

[01:05:38] maybe we should do it more I guess I don't know that but I guess it is a little different

[01:05:46] than the whole just give us more money give me 20 bucks for nothing I mean on top of that like

[01:05:52] it's so easy for them to just like put out any kind of DLC they want at any price they want

[01:05:57] and and determine how much value they actually want to provide for that like if they want to make

[01:06:03] what's the tangible difference between saying hey do you want to give us a tip

[01:06:06] or do you want to buy this like useless overpriced DLC that you know is a fucking

[01:06:11] like cheap ass skin for $10 yeah you know I think Kevin's on to something because like

[01:06:18] if I'm really looking forward to something like a I don't know a tech innate or something

[01:06:22] I bought the hundred dollar like digital deluxe they got me they got my extra 30 bucks

[01:06:28] I want those costumes and I want those characters I don't give a fuck what they are I'm in the

[01:06:32] tank for it right so like again I mean I don't want to sound like hey we're not going to

[01:06:38] tip you but extra DLC that's the way maybe none of this shit should be happening but like

[01:06:43] I guess I guess what I'm trying to say if people want to give you more money they will

[01:06:46] give you more money not as a tip though presented that way I'm not tipping a corporation over

[01:06:52] my fucking dead body or my landlord for that matter you guys have never actually

[01:06:56] played a game and stopped and said I wish I could give them extra money because

[01:07:02] this was worth more than what I paid for it you guys have never felt that

[01:07:07] only from an indie game that I got for like $2 not from like a Nintendo game or

[01:07:13] like you know some Capcom game or something if I bought some cool ass like killer indie

[01:07:18] game for like a dollar 99 it's like damn I hope this person is making it you know I feel like

[01:07:24] underpaid them for this I thought that I have God I feel like an idiot now for tithing $15

[01:07:31] a week by mail to Ubisoft I didn't know I was the only one

[01:07:36] I thought that was part of the Canadian government feel tea to France you have to pay Ubisoft

[01:07:43] that does sound like a writer they would tack on yeah

[01:07:52] all right let's get into this one so

[01:07:54] so about a week ago now uh recent show guest quest 64 official his name is Mike he has a real name

[01:08:02] but quest 64 official for the purposes of this discussion tweeted this every day I see a version

[01:08:09] of this meme with the original poster saying they are quote preserving history because Nintendo

[01:08:14] won't in quote I love emulation but let's be clear nobody downloading ROMs is doing it for

[01:08:21] preservation it's to play games for free just be honest you don't need to justify it and the

[01:08:28] included meme was read people don't pirate old games to play them for free they pirate them to keep

[01:08:33] them alive because the original cartridges won't last forever that's what the meme said

[01:08:38] and as expected like so many bad takes poured into this tweet he got inundated and and poor

[01:08:45] Mike he responds to like everybody I'm sure you guys notice us he does if someone responds to

[01:08:49] him he'll he takes the time to respond back because he's he's cool like that but even to these idiots

[01:08:55] he does the same thing he and this tweet blew up and of like we've talked about ROMs and you know

[01:09:03] like Kevin with the retroid me with the steam deck we've talked a lot about this kind of stuff

[01:09:07] recently but I don't know Kevin let's start with you what do you what did you think about

[01:09:13] the reaction to this tweet yeah the reaction was fucking insane and of course I think X is

[01:09:20] designed for like the bullshit to rise to the top like by nature quite literally because you can pay

[01:09:28] for it to happen so yeah so I'm sure we we probably seen like the worst side of the response to this

[01:09:36] I'm I'm definitely I'm I'm gonna say I'm 95% in agreeance with with his tweet and I've had very

[01:09:43] similar annoyances and thoughts myself and and I'll slightly argue one point and I don't want

[01:09:49] this to come off as I'm faulting him for this because I don't think the format of Twitter

[01:09:53] obviously it doesn't it doesn't lend itself well the nuance but just the phrasing you know

[01:09:58] it's to play games for free I would I would push back on that just because you know there's definitely

[01:10:07] a very significant element to that but but I think there is you know there's a lot of people that

[01:10:12] just that that's the easiest or maybe only way to access abandoned games right and and you know

[01:10:19] sometimes that's the only way and sometimes that's just more convenient so I and I think that's

[01:10:24] hard to argue but I also you know there are reasons like legitimate reasons people are playing

[01:10:31] games via emulation outside of that you know it's it's just it's like out of not convenience

[01:10:38] for getting it but even just for having it on a handheld it's you know sometimes I'm just fat

[01:10:42] and lazy and laying in bed and I just want to grab this thing sitting by my bed to play

[01:10:46] these games people also were bringing up you know patches and mods and that's really

[01:10:53] not something I've ever dicked around with but there are some interesting cases I've downloaded

[01:10:58] the like DX patch versions of some original Game Boy games and that was pretty worth doing

[01:11:04] where they like inject color into you know Mario Land or whatever I I think the point

[01:11:11] still stands though 99.9 percent of people that are ever saying they're they're you know

[01:11:18] involved with involved with ROMs and emulation or doing it for present day or preservation

[01:11:22] are lying to themselves and are just you know either full of shit or up their own ass you

[01:11:28] know if you're not Franks Frank Sephalde or you know a handful of other people

[01:11:33] here you're not doing anything that's a value to anyone but yourself and like quest said that's

[01:11:38] fine right you can do that selfishly you don't need to you don't need to like put yourself

[01:11:43] on this fucking preservation pedestal it's so stupid it's really dumb as well I pretty much

[01:11:50] agree with everything you said as for like the for free part I think for me that only comes into

[01:11:56] play where it's like yeah could I get an original Game Boy and like could I get a copy of like

[01:12:03] Pokemon blue sure I will never pay those scum suckers like $160 or whatever for a copy

[01:12:10] of Pokemon blue I will pay I will give my money to a corporation I will pay Nintendo money

[01:12:17] for those games before I will ever give money to those assholes I will never do that so in

[01:12:24] that respect yeah I want to play them quote unquote for free because yes I could pay for them

[01:12:29] and I will never give my money I think those people are lower than corporations I will

[01:12:34] never give them my money that's how I feel about that market but outside of that

[01:12:40] let's go back to like a couple years ago because this was a frequent topic when we started the show

[01:12:45] too because this was this is when Nintendo announced they were shutting down the Wii U and 3DS shops

[01:12:51] and we discussed preservation back then and the way people were like misusing that term

[01:12:56] and it happened here a lot in this quest 64 thread with people saying to him but you're

[01:13:01] you're preserving history by talking about quest 64 being an ambassador for quest 64 and I'm like

[01:13:07] guys he isn't an ambassador for jack shit he's just a guy on the internet and I'm not being

[01:13:14] rude to Mike he said that himself in that thread like he's like I'm not a preservationist I'm

[01:13:19] just a guy like who talks about quest 64 I'm not preserving it I'm just a dude and yeah he

[01:13:26] said he also said yeah I've submitted stuff to archive.org or whatever but like again I'm not

[01:13:31] Frank Sephalde or whoever the fuck right like I'm just a guy and like do people really think

[01:13:39] preservation is like simply talking about an old game because I kind of think they do I recently

[01:13:45] watched this video on YouTube it was about the PC88 version of ease 2 which is the original

[01:13:51] version of ease 2 and someone in the comments said the same shit like good on you for preserving

[01:13:57] the classics or whatever and it's like dog he just made a YouTube video about ease it's not

[01:14:04] preservation the fact that he's even able to make this video means that the game is preserved

[01:14:09] what the fuck are you talking about like and so yeah I like did I did I preserve quest 64 me

[01:14:17] and Mike preserve quest 64 because we did an episode on it last month like I don't think so

[01:14:22] I think we're just two guys talking about quest so you guys get the point I just think that that whole

[01:14:27] part of it is silly I think it's just such a rampant misuse of language it's it's really

[01:14:33] it sucks I hate it I don't know Andrew I think you're off base I think everyone should come

[01:14:37] and join us later on in the year when me and you preserve a bunch of game-free games live

[01:14:42] on the air because that's how it works now coming this October oh no did I spoil the surprise

[01:14:49] right that's how it works yeah but that's we're not preserving anything we're just making folks

[01:14:56] aware of the existence of things and you know even things like the Nintendo switch online apps

[01:15:03] which I love very much don't really preserve things as much as they keep accessibility

[01:15:07] available to Shmo's who don't want to jump through hoops that's something I do find very important

[01:15:13] but that's still not preservation strictly preservation in the slightest sure isn't and I

[01:15:19] I just wish people would realize that go ahead I want to I want to go off script just for a second

[01:15:25] I'm just I'm kind of sick of this talk of preservation period even outside its relation

[01:15:31] to emulation right there I just always hear like there's always this this especially on

[01:15:36] Twitter but you people are just like oh this we're fighting this losing battle and we're you know

[01:15:40] the game preservation is never going to happen and a lot of it's tied up with like you know

[01:15:45] digital copies of games and everything and I just want to like I to date have seen

[01:15:51] like I almost nothing of like important value that's been lost like the the underground

[01:16:00] communities have always found a way you know people who are actually like you know putting

[01:16:05] work into like building emulators and stuff in an ethical way you know we've kind of talked about

[01:16:10] like the bullshit of like emulating switch and stuff a couple episodes ago but but what

[01:16:16] has actually been lost like even what Frank Sephalde is doing for the most part is like

[01:16:20] you know hey we found this like you know very restricted demo of Diablo on Gameboy right

[01:16:26] and that that's that's definitely interesting but like 99.9% of the shit that people are

[01:16:34] going to want to play because they're like oh I remember playing that when I was a kid

[01:16:38] and I just want to like revisit that experience you can get it and you can get it very easily like

[01:16:43] the the battle against this preservation issue has just been like repeatedly won and not only that

[01:16:50] you know again back to the switch thing like extended well beyond what preservation actually

[01:16:56] is to the point where that you know there's numerous options just to steal these games

[01:17:01] I'm just I'm kind of tired about hearing about preservation period it's it's

[01:17:07] again basically anything that the very wide majority of people are really going to want

[01:17:11] to play has been preserved and is always going to be on the internet accessible in some format.

[01:17:18] Yeah it's just again we talked about this with the Wii U and 3DS shops people were like

[01:17:24] oh we're we're losing mysterious castle Muramase or something it's like first of all you

[01:17:29] learned how to pronounce that like five seconds ago so don't pretend like you care okay and I'm sorry

[01:17:35] if that sounds gatekeeper but I don't care like people are like keeping up for stuff that they had

[01:17:40] no idea even existed you know it's so fake it's so obviously fake like they don't actually care

[01:17:47] they're just jumping on a cause like we it's just a hot word right now preservation we need to

[01:17:52] preserve we're losing things we need to preserve them dog we're not losing a goddamn thing that

[01:17:58] we wear thing went down we have all those games if I want to play muscle march I can do that anytime

[01:18:03] I want I don't know why you went to muscle march I don't maybe that's like the ultimate like like

[01:18:09] fucking stupid Wii U game or Wii Wii we're game to me or something I I don't know why but

[01:18:14] I think I think yeah I think I think a cooler reference would have been photo dojo but go on

[01:18:21] Castlevania the adventure rebirth or something but like yeah like you know it's yeah I largely

[01:18:27] agree with you I'm fucking sick of it it's it's dumb I just and also just the reading comprehension

[01:18:32] sometimes of people like you said on Twitter you could only say so much and like in that in that

[01:18:39] thread by quest 64 official he had the titular Zofar from Zofars domain up in there being like

[01:18:46] well I did this and that and I'm like and he's like dog I'm not taught like yes I understand

[01:18:51] that like you made a very famous site that still exists today I get it I'm talking about

[01:18:56] people like saying they're preserving Pokemon red because they just they played it on their

[01:19:01] like you know whatever you know that's what I'm talking like we're not talking about Zofar

[01:19:08] you know it's it's it's wild it was it was just a wild thread

[01:19:17] what an elegant lead in because you know where else you can play Pokemon red now

[01:19:21] ooh tell me on your on your on your iPhone so I want to I want to preface this a little bit because

[01:19:28] even trying to like find some of the like specifics of this story was a little bit difficult it seems

[01:19:34] like there's a lot of like vague and inaccurate information out there so take this with a grain

[01:19:39] of salt but I've tried to condense this down as well as I could as of April 5th apples

[01:19:44] allowed emulators to be issued on the app store obviously these are restricted to being

[01:19:48] downloaded without without ROMs included as it as it works initially there was some question if these

[01:19:57] apps would even be able to access downloaded files on your phone which you know defeats the

[01:20:04] purpose for the very wide majority of people that would be downloading these but in the

[01:20:08] weeks following multiple apps allowing downloaded file access were released and got very successful

[01:20:16] with that there was a multi system emulator delta that hit the top of the free app charts

[01:20:21] so Andre seemed to think that this was a result of antitrust laws and I could not wrap my head

[01:20:26] around that I did find an article from the verge that reads this change seems to come in response

[01:20:31] to the antitrust lawsuit filed by the United States which accuses apple of attempting to

[01:20:36] stomp out both cloud game streaming apps and super apps super apps what the fuck is a super

[01:20:42] app I don't know it sounds cool though I know right I want a super app

[01:20:49] they went on to say apple recently started letting cloud streaming services like xbox cloud gaming

[01:20:53] and gforce now onto the app store can somebody explain this to me because I totally understand

[01:20:59] where the pressure as far as antitrust laws comes for the streaming apps and accessibility of

[01:21:04] that stuff but how does this result in allowing emulators um okay this is just my conjecture

[01:21:13] obviously we don't know for sure I think this is just apple getting out ahead of something

[01:21:19] so they had the antitrust thing right and it's like oh they're also going through it with i

[01:21:24] message right now which I also think it's stupid I'm not even sure why that we're

[01:21:27] talking about that but whatever right they're looking into a lot of this apple shit

[01:21:32] and I think apple is just getting out ahead of it maybe at some point they they know something

[01:21:37] is coming like are you allowed to block legal emulators on a store are you allowed to whatever

[01:21:44] and instead of having that battle they're just saying okay now you can do this I personally

[01:21:50] feel like that's what's going on because like as far as like like you said the antitrust

[01:21:55] lawsuit that actually exists whether it's between the government or epic or whatever

[01:21:59] I don't think that factors in I just think they see a storm coming and they're cutting it off

[01:22:05] I think it's a little bit of both I mean I think it's just a consequence of having to be more

[01:22:10] lax of what gets approved on the store in the first place over in android town you know we're

[01:22:15] we're all civilized and shit I've got retro art retro arch you know just free to download

[01:22:21] or whatever and if I can't get something from google play I could shop around to amazon or

[01:22:26] samsung stores for things that aren't on there have no problem the apple iOS store as far as I

[01:22:34] remember is the only game in town and if they get out if they want to keep it that way they I think

[01:22:40] part of you know this antitrust business involves you know having to be more accepting

[01:22:45] of what's on there yeah I mean again we don't know all the language of it but yeah that's

[01:22:51] probably it but I I think this is proactive by apple I think they again I think they are trying to

[01:22:58] cut something off at the pass but you know who really knows get what you guys are saying I

[01:23:03] don't know who's ever going to be you know petitioning that it's unfair that apple is not

[01:23:10] allowing emulators or who's like taking that that fight to them like like emulator developers

[01:23:16] and maybe maybe but yeah yeah I mean you you are right I don't know who would be taking that

[01:23:24] fight to them I guess you're you are correct in that I don't I don't know who would be spearheading

[01:23:28] that I guess though the more the more we talk this out because you know saying emulator developers

[01:23:33] that's obviously a very David Verthes' Goliath fight but yeah when we get down the path of

[01:23:39] setting precedent by saying hey you know you guys can't restrict Xbox cloud gaming g-force now

[01:23:45] you know that that probably does leave a pretty like wide open path where you know

[01:23:49] even if you know obviously going up against Apple's legal team is you know if that precedent is there

[01:23:55] maybe that just allows them to not be able to dispute that regardless of how much money they'd

[01:24:00] want to throw and they probably don't really give a shit that much I'm sure they'd rather

[01:24:04] people be downloading apps that are making Apple money but

[01:24:09] yeah it was kind of like the weird thing I don't know if you remember this in the

[01:24:13] expo nera where like you couldn't have a free to play game on there that wasn't like a certain

[01:24:20] I forget the stipulation but but Microsoft has some weird stimulation so like stimulation stipulation

[01:24:26] so who um PS4 is it simulation to Microsoft's missing some stimulation PS4 have like warframe

[01:24:36] and like you know paladins and like all these free to play games at start and like Xbox didn't

[01:24:43] have jack shit and it really put them in a hole I mean that's not the only reason why they lost

[01:24:48] a generation but it sure didn't help right where it's like okay why can't this be on Xbox ah because

[01:24:53] they said and there was also like yeah like sometimes things like that can just backfire

[01:24:58] on you they also had a thing where like indie games had to debut on like Xbox first or else

[01:25:03] it couldn't like be on there of course they like yeah they got rid of that real fast once they

[01:25:08] realized like oh we're sinking real fast here shit like we you was outselling us I'm like

[01:25:14] you know shovel might maybe we should do something about this you know um but yeah just all sorts

[01:25:21] of weird things like that where companies relent I feel like Apple's just doing that here

[01:25:26] okay we may or may not have anything to say about this last one but I just wanted to read it out loud

[01:25:36] because it was the tweet came across three four in the morning it was so ridiculous

[01:25:42] that I just could I was like is this real it has to be real and it is real I'm just going to

[01:25:48] read straight from Wario 64's tweets okay then you guys if you have anything to say afterwards

[01:25:53] you can embrace our group is splitting into three separate companies they are

[01:26:00] azmadi group coffee stain and friends and middle earth enterprises and friends

[01:26:10] middle earth enterprises and friends includes crystal dynamics dam buster studios

[01:26:16] eidos Montreal flying wild hog studios tripwire vertigo games and warhorse studios

[01:26:23] and the ip's of dead island killing floor kingdom come deliverance I completely forgot about that

[01:26:28] game lord of the ranks metro and tomb raider among many others oh fucking k coffee stain and friends

[01:26:37] includes coffee stain ghost ship terrace or tuxedo labs thq nordic amplifier game investment and the

[01:26:47] ip's of deep rock galactic goat simulator satisfactory wreck fest tear down valenheim

[01:26:54] as well as 200 other ip's and it is currently unknown who or what is under the azmadi group

[01:27:00] moniker he further tweets for those asking about limited run games they were under free mode whatever

[01:27:08] the fuck that is which is now within middle earth enterprises and friends what in the

[01:27:15] fuck did I just read can you sit can you just say middle earth enterprises and friends one more

[01:27:20] time for the record middle earth enterprises and friends with a name like that the only path

[01:27:27] forward for middle earth enterprises and friends is to take the vast high quality history of lord

[01:27:34] of the rings and middle earth based games and remaster them such as lord of the rings on super

[01:27:41] nintendo um the hobbit on gamecube and ps2 uh did you guys did you guys ever try the fellowship

[01:27:50] of the ring on gameboy advance what a shining turd that is give that a remaster

[01:27:55] i never i didn't even know there was gameboy well i should have known there's gameboy advanced

[01:27:59] versions of those because they were all like at fucking everything but like yeah and that was that

[01:28:05] was not like like a copy of like the ea games that followed ea got uh two towers in return

[01:28:11] of the king um the fellowship of the ring like around that period overall for everything was its

[01:28:17] own monster but good lord that gameboy advanced game is a giant piece of shit so i really want

[01:28:23] middle earth enterprises and friends to take that on please steve you got anything about

[01:28:30] i'm flabbergasted i don't even know what to say about this i don't know why you're flabbergasted

[01:28:36] i just remembering uh coffee stand in friends being my favorite uh saturday morning cartoon

[01:28:40] when i was a kid remember coffee stated friends that's what they sound like middle earth and

[01:28:46] friends sounds like a saturday morning cartoon remember was just hanging out including the dragon

[01:28:52] and gandalf and what's his name legless not legless that's that's like you don't have a way

[01:28:58] like yeah legless that's his name legolas there's not legless leg legolas oh it's them them hanging

[01:29:06] out and they're they're like suited enterprise buddies yeah it is just like featuring a zombie

[01:29:13] from dead island or whatever why okay isn't it so insulting imagine if you're idos montreal or

[01:29:20] crystal dynamics and you just got super fucking seated by middle earth enterprises and friends

[01:29:25] you're just a fucking basic bitch at the bottom bitch under this like other corporation no no not

[01:29:31] a bitch you're a friend okay middle earth enterprises and bitches what should we call

[01:29:39] it's just i can't believe it also same thing for coffee stain and friends your th fucking q

[01:29:45] and you just got super seated by what the hell is coffee stain what is this is this a game i'm

[01:29:52] seriously asking i don't know what this is i yeah i don't know either they better have a good logo

[01:29:56] when it shows up on biomutant two well that might be under uh the that might be under middle

[01:30:04] earth and friends biomutant who knew that was a thq nort a game they'll get they'll get the coffee

[01:30:12] stain don't worry okay coffee stain and friends as the first time i see that logo i'm just gonna

[01:30:18] throw something at my tv i i just cannot if that shows up on my steam deck i'm just gonna drop it

[01:30:23] like it's gonna instantly fall out of my hands i'm not looking forward to i'm not looking forward

[01:30:30] to seeing that yeah i don't know if we have much to say about it i just wanted to note that it happened

[01:30:34] because it was so ridiculous um okay you know what kevin after this after these segments i think i

[01:30:41] forgive you you want to take that shower now was the bath like completely off the table or

[01:30:46] oh you want to take a bath okay let's try something new is it gonna is it gonna like

[01:30:50] negatively impact fine time lore if we try it once we might like it well i just don't have

[01:30:56] a sounder that says it's time to hit the bath that's all you know i mean we could still play

[01:31:01] the shower one it doesn't matter can can steve give us like a similar sounding like drop saying it's

[01:31:07] time to hit the baths can you try steve for me it's time to hit the baths now

[01:31:37] all right nice bath boys i feel bubbly now that we're all fresh and clean i put a little bit of

[01:31:59] baby powder on steve's armpits um yeah that was the most i was going to allow

[01:32:04] you he was a baby about it gotta gotta put the power i went i went i went to give like one

[01:32:11] poof of powder towards the crack and he turned around he said no not today kevin

[01:32:16] but we're we're we're we're cleaning we're in fine form to play some bets um so we've got

[01:32:24] we've got a whole fresh new round of bets to go through so we'll do a quick recap of where

[01:32:29] we're going in here um as of now andre is still in first place with 1150 steve is sitting at $50

[01:32:38] and kevin has $575 so bets that are resolving this quarter steve had forespoken winds up free on

[01:32:48] playstation plus at some tier and nobile bet $51 so that if he was unsuccessful it would be 100

[01:32:57] clear that steve needed to be whipped in in a like horribly malicious form so as i set that bet to lose

[01:33:10] i can see on my nice spreadsheet steve is now sitting at $1 so sidebar andre what are what are we

[01:33:18] what are we doing to steve um okay here how about we do a little

[01:33:27] that sounds like a great idea he's gonna fucking hate it yeah or we could just make him play

[01:33:32] ballon wonderworld how about that oh that's even meaner i accept these terms it has been

[01:33:45] it has been deemed steven uh when we i won't be here next show but when we return

[01:33:53] after that as a threesome i think steve plans on sharing with us and if he successfully completes

[01:34:00] his mission we're going to give him another $500 uh to keep to keep betting with us and

[01:34:05] that'll put him and him and i on pretty even keel here uh so moving along andre's bet that

[01:34:12] resolves this quarter was the quest 64 account gets some sort of a suspension from blue sky

[01:34:17] including temporary um as far as i know that didn't happen i'm not i i've been on last time

[01:34:23] i was on blue sky it was probably about three months ago but um i feel like i would have i

[01:34:28] would have it would have been reported back so we're gonna chalk that one up if you guys

[01:34:33] if you guys want to know why i do all the show promotion you just heard it

[01:34:36] we're gonna chalk that one up to a lose andre drop $50 on that one at five to one odds

[01:34:45] i had to it was just too good to pass up and and i threw out a modern sonic advance collection is

[01:34:51] announced um they gave me 10 to one odd so i put 75 dollars on it also obviously a lose

[01:34:59] i wish i was rooting for you though i would have liked to for that to have happened

[01:35:03] yeah it seemed like it just seems like it's time but i i guess not if that happens like this summer

[01:35:09] i'm gonna be fucking pissed summer games fest is hell we're gonna have that i'm gonna go back to

[01:35:14] petition that i want a fraction of that and also i'll recheck where cf stars is on metacritic

[01:35:20] and try and get some out of that too man i i just can't wait till next week when one of the

[01:35:24] three free games for may is for spoken so yeah i'm still happy that'd be a kick in the nuts

[01:35:31] um all right so quickly i'm gonna run through um the next bets that resolve after the six month

[01:35:39] which is jenry february margie bromey june end of june

[01:35:45] obviously don't have a driver's knowledge of how quarters work uh so steve has tommy talarico

[01:35:50] was involved in some sort of public scandal whether it's something new or something that

[01:35:55] just came to light and he put $50 on three to one odds i gave andre a fucking easy pitch pro models

[01:36:02] of either ps5 or xbox series extra now my god he didn't put any money on it what a fucking dummy

[01:36:08] i'm dumb as shit because that's happening no no no kevin i think i'm gonna do some

[01:36:15] kevin style bitching at the moment and remind you that a gossip rag would totally consider

[01:36:21] putting his fucking house on sale to be a scandal of some kind

[01:36:27] i think we should know that okay the the scandal is determined by me and kevin being judges of

[01:36:34] the scan what a scandal is not tommy talarico went to jersey mikes like that's that's not a scandal

[01:36:39] i wouldn't say that i wouldn't say jersey mikes is a scandal either but he's got to sell his

[01:36:44] fucking house steve i'll say like i'm i'm pretty like pro being generous to you because you've been

[01:36:50] kicked in the balls through bets like repeatedly but i just i cannot in good conscience consider

[01:36:56] putting a house for sale as a scandal i'm sorry i thought you were gonna say your pro scandal

[01:37:01] which i guess you might be in this sense if you're in for a skit yeah i mean me too yeah but

[01:37:06] i but i think i think regardless there is still plenty of time for uh tommy talarico to wind up

[01:37:13] no this is not me trying to score a lot of bell and wonder what world oh no that's that's happening

[01:37:19] no matter what that's happening no matter what yeah we're doing that you're already at minus one

[01:37:23] dollars i'm not i'm not i i i agree i'm not what do i look like some kind of weasel come on

[01:37:31] well next time we play this you know i'm sure tommy will have done copious amounts of cocaine

[01:37:36] and fucked up at somewhere along his path of course um miami of course and i also i also threw out

[01:37:42] there's legitimate news or rumors that sony attempts to purchase square enix and they gave me

[01:37:47] five to one odd so i put 25 bucks on it all right some new mostly new foreshadowing

[01:37:54] and fresh bets um steve microsoft publicly uh okay these bets are end of september i know the end

[01:38:04] of september i know that's the ninth month because my wife's birthday is in september end of september

[01:38:12] uh microsoft publicly announces that rumored handheld we've been hearing about i think that is

[01:38:18] like it's sure seems solid so i've given you two to one odds for that and i think that's still pretty

[01:38:25] generous announces a handheld by september mm-hmm and it doesn't necessarily need to be a dedicated

[01:38:32] handheld if this is just like you know the same as the playstation one if this is just a cloud

[01:38:37] gaming portal whatever but a microsoft handheld i'm trying to imagine like the worst-case scenario

[01:38:45] like a games for windows live handheld or something i don't know why if i'm feeling kind of gunshot at

[01:38:58] the moment zero dollars kevin okay okay i yeah i think this is going to be another andre pro model

[01:39:09] thing but uh time will tell as i expertly foreshadowed uh we're getting into reruns a little bit i gave

[01:39:15] andre a bet last year that he put money on and it didn't pan out um and i i am so confident that i

[01:39:23] think that this is almost guaranteed to happen i'm only giving you 1.5 to one odds but i think this

[01:39:30] is still a money making opportunity uh microsoft announces a new gears of war title at not e3 2024

[01:39:38] sometime before the end of september again as we went through last year this doesn't you know

[01:39:44] if this is gears tactics that's fine it needs to know remasters will not count a new gears of war

[01:39:52] game mainline or otherwise see i was gonna i was gonna say that because i think one thing that will

[01:39:58] happen is that the original gears trilogy will get on steam soon mainly because i want that to happen

[01:40:05] to play them on steam deck but like i do think that's good because i think it's wild that those

[01:40:09] of never came the same i think the only one that's on there is like gears five or whatever

[01:40:14] like i can't believe those are like true blue xbox 360 exclusives i think that's crazy to me

[01:40:20] so but of course that's not what we're talking about um

[01:40:25] you know i went hard in the pain on this last time you know what i'm gonna do

[01:40:29] you know what i'm gonna fucking do fuck it okay i'm gonna do the biggest bet i've

[01:40:33] ever done on here okay whoa i'm gonna do i'm gonna take your new gears game of any kind

[01:40:40] i'm gonna say 300 dollars wow how about that looking back oh i was gonna say that's the biggest

[01:40:49] bet of anybody in the past you put 300 on this last year at three to one odds and steve also put

[01:40:56] 400 dollars on his very first bet about the amiko oh jesus christ that was a that was a bad start for

[01:41:02] steve yeah sure all right let's go 300 okay 300 at 1.5 to one odds i i cannot fucking believe

[01:41:11] that didn't happen last year because i i really thought that was a safe bet last year i think

[01:41:15] that's very overdue out of all of our bets that we've done this entire two and a half years

[01:41:21] that is the one i am seriously shocked that is not not just mine all of ours so that that did not

[01:41:27] happen yeah i didn't i didn't want to start dipping into old bets but i just feel like that one is it's

[01:41:32] the one we could we could do a shit we could have mother three on the on the docket every

[01:41:38] quarter i think for steve and he'd throw somebody thousand dollars thousand dollars all

[01:41:43] play ball and wonder world four fucking times after after what happened february i would not

[01:41:49] for the foreseeable future uh he's he's hurt i know i can see it all right and for my bet that you

[01:41:58] guys can give me odds for i'm going to go with nintendo speaks about the development status of

[01:42:04] metroid prime four in some form public announcement regarding development set doesn't necessarily need

[01:42:12] to be release date release date window some sort of public acknowledgement as to the development

[01:42:18] status by september at the end of september end of september yeah so steve i think this basically

[01:42:24] boils down to the same as is nintendo gonna announce their ship by the end of september

[01:42:30] because if they are we're hearing metroid prime four they pretty much have to so

[01:42:36] 1.5 2 to 1 odds right i'll give them two i'll give them two two you want to okay two to one odds

[01:42:45] it's kevin metroid i know i know i was the one that i know i was the one that put it out there

[01:42:52] that i was sure that metroid prime four was going to be a switch successor launch title in the future

[01:42:59] quite a while ago but i oh boy two to one i i i'm not like i'm not 100 confident that's

[01:43:07] going to be the case well i'm 100 confident that they're going to talk about switch two

[01:43:13] before the end of september so then if i'm confident about that i feel like metroid prime

[01:43:18] four has to be in tandem with that i just don't see a wave where that doesn't happen and i'm literally

[01:43:24] saying ditto to that i think that's likely the case in some form but i can see this being similar

[01:43:30] to switch where in the fall they come out they're gonna say hey here's this you know

[01:43:35] minute and a half teaser video of switch two stay tuned for early next year where we do a

[01:43:40] showcase you know a couple months ahead and that's where that's where metro prime four is going to

[01:43:45] come in i mean and i would say if we get that teaser video and they have metro prime obviously

[01:43:50] metro prime footage being played that's not really going to necessarily qualify about speaking about

[01:43:56] the development status in some form i'll give you it i'll count it i'll count it footage

[01:44:03] accounts as state of development in this case i i do because we were seeing it for the first time

[01:44:08] i'll count it so if you want to include that in your factor that in i'll all yeah for sure

[01:44:14] i think we're being pretty nice yeah that makes it that makes it a lot more appealing i'm sending

[01:44:18] it around 500 bucks here i'm gonna put 100 bucks on it okay at two to one that's that's sensible

[01:44:27] it could definitely happen do 150 150 150 i would do 110 dollars on it

[01:44:36] final sale you know after after seeing steve after the ballon wonder world i've gone through the like

[01:44:44] steps in my head where i'm like man if i'm getting down to like 200 especially under 100 dollars

[01:44:50] i'm pretty sure even if you guys give me something real juicy i'm like i can probably put eight

[01:44:55] dollars on that we're gonna pimp the shit out of you we're gonna give you 20 to one odds on like

[01:45:00] bio mutant two at like summer games faster something we're gonna like go wild on your ass

[01:45:05] bait me yeah we're gonna bait that we're gonna bait the shit out of you we're gonna give you an

[01:45:09] offer you cannot refuse oh man i don't know it just makes me so nervous what if there's a

[01:45:17] gallium two by that point and you guys are like you gotta play this and you gotta finish it

[01:45:21] well i like that i think it's finishing the original mitzvah

[01:45:29] i don't know if i will ever i will ever get past that fucking hellish checkpoint i got drug back to

[01:45:35] i i think that'll be punishment enough let alone a golem too that's greasy

[01:45:41] that okay you want to recap recap us what we just bet all right so for new new bets uh

[01:45:46] steve putting zero dollars on microsoft publicly announcing that rumored handheld andre set 300

[01:45:53] dollars down on a new gears of war games sometime announced before end of september at one to five

[01:45:58] odds so the opportunity to make 450 dollars out of that and i've got nintendo speaks about the

[01:46:05] development of prime four or shows a very short clip of footage in a switch to teaser uh 110

[01:46:14] 110 dollars at two to one 150 not too late 150 no i know i'm not i'm no fool i'm not finishing gallum

[01:46:23] ever over my dead body oh man okay but what if you do all right

[01:46:33] okay um real quick um i also wanted to talk i watched the fallout series that was on amazon prime

[01:46:41] i definitely i do not want to get into a uh deep review of this um but i had some some brief thoughts

[01:46:46] that i wanted to share first of all we had the listener question a few shows ago about you know

[01:46:53] the best video game adaptation adaptations and we all landed on the mario movie 100 percent if we

[01:46:59] had that question now this this show 100 percent i would have made it into my into my submissions

[01:47:04] it was wow overall excellence exceptional i i was looking forward to it i thought it was going to be

[01:47:11] good and it exceeded all of my expectations um one reason why so i specifically have a thing

[01:47:20] against where shows at the end of every episode need to do this cliffhanger right because it's

[01:47:25] it like gets repetitive and kind of tiring um and it also just seems like an artifact of

[01:47:33] like back when you know shows were always on tv weekly and is like we need to incentivize you to

[01:47:38] come back in the age of streaming that we don't really need that so we don't see it as often but

[01:47:43] when i do see it i still find it quite annoying especially when i am streaming those shows back

[01:47:47] to back to back this show does this but it does it in in such a well executed way that it's like

[01:47:55] it's it's hard for it's hard for me to put into words why it works here but it it

[01:48:01] i took it as they have a self awareness of how the cliffhangers in streaming shows

[01:48:09] come off to people and we're able to work around that it is quite often they leave a on a cliffhanger

[01:48:14] but it's not it's not presented in such a way like we're trying to like bait you into coming

[01:48:20] back it comes off much more as like this is intentional pacing of the show and it works

[01:48:27] very well in this in this circumstance um if you guys if you guys do ever watch this i'd be

[01:48:31] interested to hear your thoughts on on that point in specific um can i liken it to maybe

[01:48:38] probably my favorite show of all time is madman and they didn't do when they at the end of a season

[01:48:42] their season cliffhangers if you will was not necessarily like a cliffhanger cliffhanger but

[01:48:47] just like a situation happened and you saw the resolution of it and it's like going for it's

[01:48:53] how can they go forward from that you know what i mean that's the cliffhanger if you will not like

[01:48:58] oh is she actually dead or something we just saw her body you know not like that but it's just like

[01:49:03] something happens and you do see the end of it and you're like whoa how is that going to change this

[01:49:09] and that and that so i guess that's not really a cliffhanger so much is just like intrigue for

[01:49:14] the next thing but i think you're i think what you're talking about is like a real like

[01:49:18] real deal cliffhanger right yeah it definitely is they definitely will end these shows and these

[01:49:24] episodes um you know where it's like oh god they're in this situation you know you're going to have

[01:49:29] to watch for another 40 seconds to see how it plays out because the next episode is right there

[01:49:34] but i think that's the point right and i think that's why i do think cliffhangers do work in

[01:49:38] this in this digital era because it's like oh wait i just i want to watch the next one right

[01:49:42] now right i think that does i think there's something to that and they are playing for your views

[01:49:48] yeah i just i guess so i watched a while ago i watched um the first like three seasons of prison

[01:49:54] break for some reason i don't have a like real affinity for this show i think it was more because

[01:49:59] i was like feeling nostalgic for like the early to mid 2000s um but but it was like every episode

[01:50:06] is always this like ridiculous insane cliffhanger like constantly and you sit here and watch episode

[01:50:12] after episode after episode and it's always the same it's different scenarios but it feels

[01:50:17] the same these cliffhangers don't feel the same in fallout um and i do i do think i think that it's

[01:50:23] just like intentionally paced around the cliffhanger so that that's what makes it work um and lastly i

[01:50:30] want to talk about the lore so what i thought was so interesting that they did hear nothing like

[01:50:36] none of the stories from any of the fallout games are pulled directly out this this has its own

[01:50:42] um you know original characters this is set further back in the fallout timeline than any of

[01:50:48] the games so it's very much its own story not only is it is it faithful to the lore from the games

[01:50:56] um but it like incredibly foundationally affects the lore for all of the games it provides

[01:51:04] some like incredibly solid canon and like world building that that almost like makes you look

[01:51:11] at the lore of the games in a different way um and it's just out of anything that i liked about

[01:51:19] this show like how they like and any and that's the whole like arc through the the eight episodes

[01:51:26] is like you know at the end of that that's that season you understand so much more like about

[01:51:33] the fallout universe overall and it fits very well it doesn't it doesn't seem like it's tacked on

[01:51:40] um so yeah this show was was exceptional and if anybody has played any fallout games and even

[01:51:46] has a moderate interest in in this i would suggest it and even if not i'm trying to get my wife

[01:51:52] doesn't give two fucks about video games overall she she doesn't know shit about follow and i keep

[01:51:56] you like you need to watch this show you will love it um so highest recommendation it's awesome

[01:52:02] okay i will i will have to i'll have to watch what is it on is on like netflix on amazon prime

[01:52:07] amazon prime um okay i'll have to bum someone's uh steve let me let me get that password and let

[01:52:13] me let me watch it it's uh not mine to give away i don't i wasn't asking i i'd tell you i could hook

[01:52:21] you up but i'm pretty sure that like amazon oh i know that amazon canada is like a separate

[01:52:26] account than amazon so no i know i know i know i know two people i can bum that it's fine i

[01:52:33] i can definitely watch that well worth your time all right guys uh you want to talk about taylor swift

[01:52:42] no steve come back come back kevin you want to talk about taylor swift with me

[01:52:47] oh boy i like you andre but i don't know if i like you that much

[01:52:51] all right fine both of you get out of here

[01:52:53] all right seems like the guy's vacated the premises so now it's just me and that's fine they don't

[01:53:03] need to be here for this i just want to talk taylor swift real quick and this new record for a bit

[01:53:08] before we get out of here because taylor swift has been the biggest name in music for years now

[01:53:15] but these last couple years she's ascended to this rarefied air that very few artists

[01:53:22] get to ascend to she's reached like the highest plane of pop stardom she's so famous she boosted

[01:53:29] the nfl's ratings the nfl's ratings because she's simply dating travis kelsie yeah like that's crazy

[01:53:37] you know like jessica simpson didn't boost the ratings when she dated tunie rohmo you know what

[01:53:41] i mean you know just just saying but the thing is when the most famous person in the world

[01:53:48] releases a new record all ears are on them and it's gonna get the most scrutiny in the world whether

[01:53:54] it's deserved or not we've seen this time and time again in pop music history the record released at

[01:54:00] the height of the artist's fame some acts rise to the occasion and they meet that demand and others

[01:54:06] fumble it big time but of course there's no bag to be fumbled here by taylor swift this is

[01:54:13] her 11th record she's made a billion dollars with a b and every record she releases from this point on

[01:54:21] could be the worst thing in the world and it wouldn't matter she's in for life whether anybody likes

[01:54:26] her new music or not she she just had a tour so popular that the movie version of the tour

[01:54:34] was released in theaters and it made more money than indiana jones it made more money

[01:54:38] than mission impossible it made more money than the fucking hunger games right so certainly a flop

[01:54:46] record does not matter at all to her at this point in time financially but yet it wouldn't be good if

[01:54:53] her new record is a flop because now we're talking legacy stuff right that's the only thing she has

[01:54:58] left to go for and last week she released her new record to rave reviews from critics got really

[01:55:06] good reviews across the board however some of the mood online is that it sucks and yeah you could say

[01:55:14] that social media is just going to dunk on her no matter what which is obviously true but the voices

[01:55:19] were too strong for me to ignore you know even her fan base them swifties seem to have some

[01:55:25] division on this so who's right is this new record as great as a critic say it is or

[01:55:31] is it really as bad as some folks say it is online let's find out as i tell you my thoughts on the

[01:55:37] tortured poets department

[01:55:48] okay

[01:55:56] before i start i'm gonna preface this with a couple of things though okay number one

[01:56:01] i keep wanting to say the tortured poets club and not the tortured poets department i don't know why

[01:56:09] maybe i think it's a better title in my head like tor- poets club or something so forgive me if i

[01:56:15] say club a couple times and i don't correct myself because honestly i didn't hear it it's just what's

[01:56:20] stuck in my brain right now number two i also need to say that i am by no means a swiftie okay i have

[01:56:29] heard a few taylor swift records before and i generally have liked them but i would never

[01:56:34] call myself a taylor swift fan okay i'm just here as an interested party who loves music and

[01:56:40] wants to hear the new big thing i noticed the swifties out there often talk about her story

[01:56:47] but i don't even know what that means i don't know who she's been with who she's beefing with

[01:56:53] why she's heartbroken and quite frankly i don't care much like coheed and cambria i'm not going

[01:56:59] to do homework before i listen to a record so i can know a story you know i'm just going to

[01:57:05] listen to the music and get what i get so my opinion may not be very valuable to those in the

[01:57:11] tank for taylor swift but i figure my regular dude opinion might be useful to some with that said

[01:57:17] let's get right into this music because the first song fortnight features post malone

[01:57:24] and i don't think i'd know it if it wasn't in the credits it just sort of seemed to simmer by

[01:57:30] at the sad pace and he warbled a few lines and she warbled a few lines and it was over

[01:57:37] okay whatever i don't think it's ever good when your opening track is that flat and it has a

[01:57:44] featured artist that doesn't really feature but okay it's one song right it's setting a mood

[01:57:49] for the record i guess but is that the mood you really want to set i don't know but okay

[01:57:56] the next song is the title track the tortured poets the tortured poets department say almost did it

[01:58:03] and okay there's been a lot of talk online about the lyrics on this record

[01:58:11] and there's one line that seems to get everybody puzzled it's on this title track

[01:58:16] and it's where she croons you fall asleep like a tattooed golden retriever

[01:58:21] and you know what actually more on that in a sec i'll come back to it line in a second okay

[01:58:29] so i let the first five songs go by fortnight the title track my boy only breaks his favorite toys

[01:58:37] down bad and so long london and i was not very impressed most of these songs feel

[01:58:45] really underbaked like i was waiting for them to get cooking and they never got cooking

[01:58:50] that's always the worst thing in music for me where you just have like a four minute build to

[01:58:55] nowhere so long london is especially designed to piss me off in that regard the vibe was completely

[01:59:02] losing me so far on this record and that's a problem because taylor swift has largely been

[01:59:09] vibes for me her previous record midnight has like a very definitive vibe it's like pulsating it's

[01:59:17] sassy it's super confident and it's exciting you know there's great hooks on it and it has

[01:59:23] something to say i think that's not what i'm getting from the tortured poets department so far

[01:59:29] it starts kind of flat and unbothered and doesn't really do anything to draw you in and then just

[01:59:35] kind of stays there musically it's going for this like pop minimalist thing but it's not really

[01:59:41] working for me it just sounds kind of empty midnight was somewhat minimalist too but it had fire you

[01:59:48] know it had balls i felt something from that record i'm not feeling anything from the tortured poets

[01:59:54] department outside of my boy breaks all his favorite toys having like a pretty decent hook

[01:59:59] right i'm not getting anything too interesting here so far but hey actually there is one thing

[02:00:06] that did stick out to me that's right it's that tattooed golden retriever line

[02:00:14] and hey say what you want but that stuck out to me it got my mind going it's the one thing that

[02:00:20] made me go huh what the fuck does that mean and i thought about it a lot and i came to a conclusion

[02:00:26] you know i can't say anything else on here made me think that far so and some might say being

[02:00:32] memorable doesn't mean that it's good and maybe that's true but it's better to remember something

[02:00:37] than to not remember something i think in that regard when the first time you hear a record

[02:00:43] that golden retriever thing that's a lyric that's evocative that's what i want not i'm down bad

[02:00:51] crying at the gym as that other track keeps saying over and over but in general i don't have

[02:00:56] a problem with the lyrics on this record at all i think people are being too harsh on in that

[02:01:00] regard if this were a new order song or something like that and and benard summoner saying something

[02:01:06] about a tattooed golden retriever people would eat that shit up we're just not buying it because

[02:01:11] it's taylor swift which is fine you don't have to buy it because it's her and that's the beauty

[02:01:15] of music right but for me it's fine i don't care but okay i'm saying all of this based off

[02:01:22] of five songs right and there's 16 songs yep this album is a chonger oh boy let's buckle up and plow

[02:01:31] through the rest and hey you know what i spoke too soon there is some good material on this record

[02:01:49] and it happens with the next song called but daddy i love him and it's exactly what it sounds like

[02:01:55] it's about a young girl telling off her parents because she wants to be with this guy and there's

[02:02:00] a lot of really lively you know fun lyrics there that bring that concept home it's like okay great

[02:02:06] job fun little song right there's a song also called florida with three exclamation marks

[02:02:13] like florida like you know we're shouting it out and it features florida and the machine

[02:02:18] and unlike the post malone feature this one actually works it has some really good dynamics

[02:02:23] like some quiet loud dynamics maybe the only song of the record that has that so it's a good contrast

[02:02:28] not just with itself but with the rest of the record you know all that muted mushy stuff

[02:02:34] which i'll get to in a second uh by the way as an aside i don't know shit about florida and the

[02:02:39] machine is that like a person or is it like a band is she like the titular florents and then the band

[02:02:49] is the machine like gladus knight and the pips i have no idea anyway another good one another

[02:02:56] good song rather and probably my favorite song on the record is called i can do it with a broken

[02:03:02] heart which is one of those like smiling through the pain you know fake it till you make it

[02:03:07] type of songs and it's really musically interesting because in its attempt to sound like happy it also

[02:03:14] sounds really nervous and jittery too which is exactly what someone would feel like if they were

[02:03:20] trying to put on this type of facade that they know is fake and they will feel other people will

[02:03:26] think it's fake too right so you're nervous about that but you're you're still smiling through it

[02:03:32] really great stuff best song on the record i can do it with a broken heart really sells a concept

[02:03:36] that i like so yeah there's some good material here okay but in between all those songs that i just

[02:03:44] mentioned there's a bunch of soppy sad girl songs that absolutely do not connect for me i think i

[02:03:52] just called a mushy and but not in the mushy like lovey-dovey they're just mushy as in like

[02:03:59] bland mashed potatoes that's what those songs feel like to me and ultimately that's what i can

[02:04:05] pair it down to when i talk about my problem with the tortured poets department that type of

[02:04:09] slow building mush really doesn't do it for me at all again like bland mashed potatoes it's

[02:04:16] substance it's not the worst thing you've ever had but you would never willingly choose them

[02:04:23] i'm not really a fan of the production style on this record which is fine because great songs

[02:04:28] can overcome middle in production but with slow ballads there's nowhere to hide it can't just sound

[02:04:36] okay it has to sound great or you're losing me and taylor swift mostly loses me on those songs

[02:04:42] the emotion does not reach my ears maybe it reaches someone else's for me it didn't hit

[02:04:48] the only one that kind of does and it's not really in this category but there's a song called

[02:04:54] who's afraid of little old me where she gives us like really impassioned vocal performance that i love

[02:04:59] it's easily her best performance on the record and that song really needs it and she meets it

[02:05:05] so i don't know this isn't a bad record it just starts out really middling and boring

[02:05:11] and records i like can do that sometimes you know pearl jams no code is definitely one of those

[02:05:17] for me outside a hail hail like the second song i think the first third of no code really

[02:05:22] isn't that good but then it gets really really good after that so overall i really like no code

[02:05:30] and i'm not going to say that's also the case for the tortured poets department it doesn't get

[02:05:35] really good but it does improve a lot after that beginning so yeah that's how i feel about

[02:05:41] the record do i like this as much as other taylor records i've heard certainly not but maybe

[02:05:46] it's the end of the line for this kind of sound for her and then the next record is something

[02:05:52] completely different because i feel like she mined whatever the hell this is as much as she can mine

[02:05:58] it and yes before the swifties come after me yes i know there's a deluxe version of the album

[02:06:04] that's essentially a double record because it adds 15 bonus tracks 15 bonus tracks i'm sorry

[02:06:12] but i'm not equipped to deal with that i cannot digest 31 taylor swift songs at once okay i'll

[02:06:19] stick with the basic bitch 16 song record which is already long enough thank you and since i already

[02:06:25] think you could easily cut out four or five of those 16 songs i'm not piling another 15 bonus

[02:06:31] tracks on top of it no thank you maybe some other day but not today and with that i'm out of here

[02:06:39] thanks for indulging me if you made it to the end of this follow us on twitter on find time

[02:06:43] podcasts and check the description of this podcast to find her names on blue sky see you next time bye

[02:07:13] you