The President of Borderlands | The Big Deal

[00:00:04] Step into Video Game Land Welcome to Game Time Hello, party people It's your boy Dre And also, it's my boy Kevin And guess what? I'm about to not be a Switch 2 virgin for very much longer

[00:00:33] Oh, me too, Steve When the sun flies over the horizon that many more times, we could pick up the Switch 2 You know what I think is corny? And I'm sorry if anybody out here says this I hate when people say, like, sleep, one more sleep until Nintendo Switch 2 or something like that Don't call it sleeps, it's weird I don't know, I think it's whimsical Also, Steve, that little soliloquy you just gave

[00:01:00] Did you, before losing your sexual virginity, did you use that same phrase to the woman? I'm not gonna talk about all that right now Come on! Tell us, give us something No! Unbelievable! We're not talking about that I just, I bet I bet you if we The last show before Switch 2 comes out Jesus Christ! Okay, what about the first show after Switch 2 comes out? Unbelievable, you guys

[00:01:31] There's probably a fucking letter, Dear Penthouse, in the mid-2000s That talked about, you know, I laid her down and I told her about the sun coming over the range or whatever the fuck you were saying And she just You weren't even listening and you wanna know if I said it, unbelievable She was ready to fuck I used to read those in Penthouse a lot And I was like, wow, this is what adults do? Holy shit

[00:02:00] Like, you know, I didn't realize, I mean, look, I'm sure some of them are true stories Some of them are made up stories But, you know, I just read them in awe of like Wow! And now they just seem kind of tame Did they ever, did you ever get so Did you ever get frisky reading the letters and need to pleasure yourself just because of the letters? Oh yeah, absolutely Fuck yeah 100% Yeah, that was definitely a thing I enjoyed all aspects of the Penthouse Is there any one letter that like really sticks out

[00:02:28] That like really like lit your brain up that you still remember and you can share with us? Because that would be, that would be great podcast material God damn I remember one Yeah, I do actually I remember one Where it was like A car showroom No, don't tell us what it was, just recreate it Can you, can you try and be like Dear Penthouse Oh, no, no, no, no, no I can't, I can't, I can't do that But just try from memory It doesn't, there's nobody's

[00:02:57] Nobody's, nobody's auditing you for accuracy It's fine Can I just tell you what was in the fucking story? There was a car, it was a car showroom And they fucked on top of the car while nobody was there And they just got done before There was like some red Corvette or something Because of course it was And they just got done before someone else knew A new customer has walked into the showroom So they almost got caught fucking on top of the car See, I believe the story's true But you know, they embellish it a bit Like it was probably a station wagon or something

[00:03:26] It was definitely not a Corvette Oh sure, absolutely That's the thing I think is embellishing And the guy writing the letter was actually solo There was no lady there He just jacked off on top of the car Jacked off on a car while at work in a showroom Yeah, so that was Okay, so see, I remember one story Okay Damn, I'm hot now Do we need to take a break already Before we get to talk about video games? Fucking hit the showers It's time to hit the showers

[00:03:56] We'll do that later That will be our own penthouse story However Steve I mean, look Guys, I played video games this week But they're not really worth talking about Or rather they are But I'm going to talk about them on future episodes So, Steve, why don't you talk about a video game? You know, this game's not really worth talking about either Because I played this game about a month ago But then Kevin was all Hey Steve, you want to play Oblivion? Yes, Kevin

[00:04:24] I would like to play Oblivion It's much better than what this is Oh, I was expecting positivity off the bat And what this is Is I am Setsuna I'm borrowing a leaf from Kevin's book Just a little bit I'm revisiting a game from Switch's launch 2

[00:04:52] Technically not a Switch exclusive game It came out on PS4 like in 2016 Where people were comparing it favorably to Chrono Trigger And oh my god That should have been a warning, huh? I remember the talk about this game I remember this game coming out I am Setsuna And people saying stuff about Chrono Trigger And I'm like, there's just no way on God's green earth That's true It just cannot be true In any case

[00:05:21] I was not paying 50 bucks at Switch launch For a digital copy when Zelda And Bomberman A new Shovel Knight campaign Were all out there And then there was my new friend Arcade Archives Out here doing things for 8 bucks apiece The point is $50 No $15 later on at a holiday sale Sure $15 for I am Setsuna Because really, why play I am Setsuna When you play Neo Turf Masters? I mean, if we're being real

[00:05:52] So, what's going on? In this world, every 20 years Peace is maintained by bringing a sacrifice To the edge of the world You play a silent protagonist swordsman Ender that's his job To kill Setsuna He has a separate job The ritual sacrifice Before she gets to the edge of the world To die He has to kill her before she gets there It's dumb Okay See, and do you guys get it? Because his name's Ender Because he ends lie Okay, anyway

[00:06:21] It doesn't matter Because the story quickly pivots To him deciding to Escort her there instead Figuring that If she dies there At the edge of the world That's technically a contract fulfilled Guys, it doesn't fucking matter There's too many characters Plot points in this game For any of this to matter Because I feel like all the Chrono Trigger inspirations Everyone pretended to like In 2016 were taken from an ad Someone salvaged off of YouTube

[00:06:51] Why would anyone say this game Is like Chrono Trigger? It's certainly not in gameplay, right? I mean All of the pieces are technically there There's a map With no enemy encounters on it Just like Chrono Trigger But it's linear And largely featureless There's this menagerie Of playable characters They fling at you But they don't contribute anything Meaningfully Except There's just so much Fucking pressing the A button

[00:07:21] That would make a Golden Sun Cutscene blush What? So they just like Yammer on Endlessly or something? So much yammering on About Things And Oh no Life Okay That's nice Is it like borderline interesting? Or is it just No Completely flat? I mean There's To graze on battle for a second There's double And triple techniques Just like Chrono Trigger But Good luck finding out

[00:07:50] What those are Because you have to Trade monster parts With merchants for things And stuff And When you do find them out It's usually more efficient To figure out what the Most efficient Single character area Of effect moves are And just use those Over and over again Oh So they have like Double techs and triple techs Like Chrono Trigger Is that the thing people did? And said it was like Chrono Trigger And they're mostly useless It doesn't matter They took the battles From Chrono Trigger too It's just so dull

[00:08:20] Like you go in the areas You fight enemies on a screen And I guess they saunter Around a bit Sort of There's nothing creative about it They Over tutorialize you With wall after wall And wall of text About elements And boosts And things Accessories may or may not Be doing None of it actually Does anything Most of it Most battles are won With Ender and Not Frog Kicking the crap Out of everything Like I'm trying to I'm trying to visualize

[00:08:50] This game Does it actually Have a game flow Like Chrono Trigger Where it's like Okay you have the world map With like no enemies And then you just Go into a place And then like It's not random battles Like the guys Just appear In a little animation Does it even do that? Do you see them In the space Like in Chrono Trigger And sometimes They call out more guys Because they're hiding But you know There's no random battles I would argue That Sea of Stars Probably is more Chrono Triggery In that regard Than It is

[00:09:19] Wow This is This is fairly Well liked By people In general Though Is it not Or am I I just had it In my head That this is The general consensus Is this game Is good Maybe it was In 2016 But it's Holy shit 2025 Now You know Between Sea of Stars and everything else Who cares anymore Right Or maybe People still like I am Setsuna Let me know Or don't Maybe I don't want to know Because guys

[00:09:47] None of this shit's compelling You follow the map From plotline to plotline Helping the citizenry By mashing A Through Setsuna's Latest variant of Oh no More people are suffering I had no fucking idea While the game Starts up again While so much Fucking piano plays Guys This has to be The most uninspired JRPG soundtrack In the Square Enix Catalog Wow Everything Everywhere

[00:10:17] Is piano Everything You ever browse The iTunes In the later aughts When The Final Fantasies Were on there And you found The Nobuo Emaso Piano album No Just me Okay Well imagine that Being a thing But all original tunes That may or may not fit What's going on Whatever mood They want to make It doesn't May or may not fit It's all piano Somber mood Piano

[00:10:46] Triophan Achievement Piano Town Ablaze Piano Big Boss Staring Down The Group Piano Oh boy I'm gonna use my mind meld With Andre To ask On his behalf Surely they used Some other instruments In there somewhere No They did not use Other instruments If they were They might have been Like dummied out of the game Or maybe they like Missed those When they like

[00:11:15] Printed the digital file Or whatever But It's all piano So much fucking piano Well you know It kind of answers The question of like You know Like those soundtracks That you mentioned Here is the piano Arrangements of Final Fantasy 9 Or something And then dumb people Are like Why didn't they just Use all these In the game Well now you have Your answer You can't just do that For a video game It's so bad Steve there's no Fucking way You finish this Right

[00:11:45] Right No No I didn't Because Somewhere Between Being as awesome As hell From easter Adjacent shifts And the game Was plain boring As hell I just plain As fell asleep On the couch With the dogs On a very warm Spring afternoon During one of the Game's active Time battles And died Only to realize That the last time I saved was Hours ago And because There's no auto Save And I forgot to Save

[00:12:15] I just couldn't Be fucking Bothered Although I do have A very Sadistic plan For what Happens The next time I lose My fine Time dollars Something to Talk about Behind closed Doors I guess You can't Do that To the Audience Now you Have to Tell them No It has To come Up At a Later Time Oh my God I would Be so Mad If I'm Listening To the Show Right Now I'm Sorry Folks I'm Really Sorry I do Not Condone This

[00:12:44] Behavior He's A tease I mean My God Gotta keep Them Wanting More They Want More Now Give it To Them They Gotta Hang On To The Edge Of Their Seats Download The Next Episodes They Will Not Be

[00:13:16] I Wanted To Try Anything Else From The I Finished Lost Sphere I Couldn't Do This You You Actually Did You Even Try Oninaki That Was That Was The Third One They Did Right That Was Yeah That Was Actually Pretty Okay If Not Incredibly Morbid Oh Okay Never Mind I'll I Don't Do Recreational Sadness I'll Stay Away From That One

[00:13:52] All Right Kevin I'm Very Proud Of You Right Now You Know This I'm Very Proud Of This Day Because You're Going To Talk About Arcade Games And I Am Not Going To Talk About Arcade Games For Us You You Inspire Me I I'm So Glad To Hear That You Whether You Pick Them Because They're Just Your

[00:14:22] Favorites Or Because You Think I Would Like Them Or Whatever So Nobody Is Giving Me Any Context As To Why These Were Picked But I'm Going To Start Out With Steve's Three The First One Is Growl This Is Kind Of A Side Scroll Or Beat If They Just Hurting

[00:14:51] Animals Early On There's A Point Where You Come Down A Street And There's Just Two Guys Standing There Whipping A Lion Both From Either Side Whipping The Out Of This Lion You Get To The Bosses Then There Will Be A Bird Or Elephant Or Whatever That There Are Some

[00:15:20] Babes In Miniskirts And There There's So Many Of Them Now It Would Make More Sense If There Was The One Mastermind Babe In Miniskirt That Was At The Top Of The Animal Abusing Ring But Somehow They Found Hundreds Of These Miniskirt Clad Ladies They They're They're Obviously Low Level Because They're In Such Great Quantity And So They Just Hate Animals I Mean If You Were Hot And You Were

[00:15:50] A Lady And You Were A Miniskirt You Be Like Fuck Those Mother You You Would Hate Animals Too You Think So Just Like Your Life Has This You Are The Music Is Bumping

[00:16:20] It Is The Music Great In This Game Yeah I've Played I've Played This Game It's Pretty It's It's Really Like The Absolutely Impossible

[00:16:50] I Like I Was I Was Having An Extremely Rough Time Because Roadrunner As One May Expect Moves So Fucking Fast And I Like I Couldn't Get Any Progress And Then All Of A Sudden Upon Rebooting I Seen A Note And It Specifically Says Use Variable Speed Joystick Now I Think The Problem I Was Running Into Is Because The Joystick On The Main Machine Is Just Not Not Able To Emulate The

[00:17:20] Because So Actually I Went And Watched Some Gameplay Of This Online Because I Needed To Figure Out And Sure Enough You Can Get Like Oh Well No That's Not Your Fault But You Can Get Right In Front Of Wiley Coyote And Trick Him Into Running Into Traps And Be A Little Bit More Nuance With Your Actions Because You Got To Pick Up Bird Seed But When You're Just Running Like A Thousand Miles Per Hour All The Time It Doesn't Work So I'm Sure This Is An Enjoyable Game I Just Didn't Get To Play It Properly I Don't Think I Ever Knew This Game

[00:17:50] Existed I Did Not Know There Was A Roadrunner Arcade Game I Didn't Either Until I Found It At Barcade However Long Ago And Then I Just Sunk However Many Tokens Into It

[00:18:21] This Is Probably Like 86 87 It's Pretty It's Not It's Pretty Primitive Looking In Comparison To Some Of These Other Things And The Third One Steve Picked Was Narc I Have Played Narc Before So This Wasn't A

[00:18:51] But This Is It's So Like The Motif Is Like The First Level All Of The Bad Guys Are Just These Like Fat Guys In Trench Coats And And Then All Of A Sudden There's Like There's Like Evil Psychotic Killer Clowns And The Enemies Throw Literal Needles At You

[00:19:21] Turn Into Tiny Little Puppies And Run Away And So This Is Just Exactly It's Just A Sight The Whole Thing Is A Sight To Behold My Favorite Level Is There's Like A Lot Of This Is The Seedy Part Of Town But There's The One Level That Is

[00:19:51] My Favorite I Seen I Played This A Few Times In The Last Week And I Was Just Playing It Again This Morning And So One Of The Signs I Was Trying To Like I Don't Even Know If This Is Racist Or Like How To Take This And So Maybe You Can Help Me Out Because I

[00:20:21] Is That I I I I Sure Juan Like Runs The Business He Probably Wants People To Know About His Hole Yeah Yeah I'm Sure I mean Like Yeah I Wouldn't Take That As Racism I Think It's Just Like Hey I'm Juan And Come To Hole In One Like A Cheesy Commercial You Know Like Yeah I Just Think It's Like That I I Don't Think There's Anything Sinister Happening There I

[00:21:00] Mean No I Don't Even Trust The Clown At The Kids Birthday Party Yeah I'm Not Gonna Buy Drugs From Him Either But The Guy The Guy The Fat Guy In The Trenchcoat He Is The One That Is Definitely Not Putting Fentanyl In Your Meth Oh Yeah I Trust Him I Don't Trust The Skinny Guy In The Trenchcoat Because He's Done Too Much Meth Like He's You Know Like No Thank You Yeah The Fat Guy Is Keeping Well He Right Before You Got There Yeah He Knows What's Up That

[00:21:30] There's There's The Level So You can Like Get In Cars And Drive Cars You Can Only Drive Them For Like Eight Seconds Until You Inevitably Run Into A Wall Of Dumpsters And The Car Blows Up But There's So Many Sequential Cars You Just Hop Into A Car And Then You Drive For A Few Seconds Hit A Dumpster And Just Use These Cars As Consumables To Go Faster So I

[00:22:05] I Never Played Narc That Much Actually Obviously Every Arcade Had It And It Was Really Popular But I Never Like It Wasn't A Machine I Put Like Tons Of Quarters Into Yeah It Seems Even Now Like If I If I I've Been To Like A Barcade Or Like A Convention Or Something Like Narc Is Just One Of The Staples That's Still Always Around Sorry I'm Still Hanging On To There Was A Fairly Common Arcade Game That Andre Didn't Really Play

[00:22:34] Yeah I Really I Mean Look I've Seen It A Million Times I Know Exactly What Happens In I Seen People Play It A Lot Right But I Just Never Played It That Much Myself He Walked In He Looked He's Like All Those Basic Bitches Playing Narc I'm Going To Go Play Kubrick Yep Oh No Officer I Never Touched The Stuff Never I Did Not Inhale By The Way I'm Glad You Just Said That Out Loud Get It Kubrick Kubrick

[00:23:05] Stanley Kubrick Is That Okay So I Was So What's The Connection Though I Just Think They Wanted To Make A Funny Pun In English I Think Oh Okay It's Just Having Fun In My Opinion All Right Considering How Fucked Up This Game Is You You Tell Everybody About It Let's Let's Talk About Kubrick As Soon As Number Puzzles Or A Picture That You Get In A Treat Bag

[00:23:35] At A Birthday Party When You're A Kid And I Feel Like I'm Pretty Good At Those I Know What You The At The Start

[00:24:05] And It Moves And So The Sliding Puzzle Has Pieces Of A Path And You Have To Manipulate The Sliding Puzzle In Real Time As That Circle Travels Along The Path And So Not Only Do You Have To Get Them In So You Can It's Not Like At The Start Of The Puzzle You Can Just Immediately Be Like Okay This Goes Here This Goes Here This Goes Here Because You Have To At Times Move Them You Know When The Ball Is On An Adjacent Parcel To Line It Up

[00:24:35] So That It'll It'll Like Connect After It's Got There Or You Have To Move The Parcel The Ball Is On Or Whatever So Yeah I Went The First One Wasn't Too Bad I Just Like Figured Out What I Need To Do The Second Level Is Pretty Fucking Hard It Took Me

[00:25:05] A While And Finally I Got It And Then I Got To The Third Level And I Spent Like 15 Fucking Minutes And Made Zero Progress Whatsoever And Then I Turned This Game Off I Think It's A Cool Concept I Think This Would Be A Better Game I Literally Do If You Could Hit A Fucking Pause Button And Stop The Ball From Moving So You Had Time To Think I Understand This Is Not Conducive To An Arcade Game That

[00:25:52] I I It's Really Fun Though And I Love That It's Like Basically Just Reusing Assets From Gradius 3 To Just Including The Font Like The Gradius Font And Everything To Just Like Konami Doesn't Care Whatever But Kevin There's Also An Ulterior Motive I Have For Wanting You To Play This Game I Really Thought You Would Like It By The I I Like The Idea Of The Game I Just Think It's So Goddamn Hard That Like On The Third Level I Didn't Even Feel Like I Was

[00:26:22] Making Progress You On Switch Two Comes Out We'll Have A Game Chat And You Can All Stare At My Pitch Perfect Video As I Play Along How's That Stuff If You Ace

[00:26:52] This Game I'll Be Pissed Too Like Come On You I'm Not Watching You Yeah Especially After I Like Voluntarily Come On And Be Jump On It Unbelievable We're Very Upset About The Future Prospect Of You Stunting On Us I'm Sorry Like That's On

[00:27:22] Our Mind You Already Do This With Advance Wars Yeah He Won't Even Like Video Coach You I Know I Know Yeah It's The 45 Second You're You're Yeah Whenever You Beat A Level It

[00:27:51] Plays That Yeah So I Wanted You To Hear That Be Like Wait A Second Well Maybe That's The Sound They Play When You Successfully Beat A Level At Which Point I Would Have Heard It A Grand Total Of Two Times See That's What I Come on I Don't Want To Talk About How Bad I Am At Video Games It's Not Fun Let's Talk About Another

[00:28:21] Game He's Bad At Instead You Jad The Taff Fucks Right Oh Yes Absolutely You Know I Mean

[00:28:51] He's Got The Name He's A Handsome Fellow So I Didn't Even Try Any Of The Other Actually Mistakenly I Switched To The Girl One Time But I Wanted To Only Play As Jad The Taff I'm A Jad The Taff And The Instructions Say Go Indoor Get A Data So That's The The Elevator Action Actually I Had A Friend That Had Elevator Action On Game Boy When I Was A Kid

[00:29:22] That's A Legit Version And This Is A Long Time Ago So This Is The Only Elevator Action Context I Have And I Like So The First Level Is Very Similar To That It's Got The Tall Up And Down With The Hall In The Middle With Where The Elevator Goes It Very Much Looks Like Old Elevator Action But Then All Of A Sudden It's Much More Combat Heavy And Side Scrolling There's Still

[00:29:51] Elevators That's Still The Main Thing You Still Have Quarters I I'm Going To Talk More About That Actually In The Next One But I Felt Like It's Still Like Especially What What Year Did This Come Out Do You Know Like Roughly Because It

[00:30:21] 94 94 Yeah Okay So Mid 90s I Think By That Time That It Was Definitely More What's The What's The Word That I'm Looking For Like Predatory Towards Quarters In The Arcade Than It Was In The 80s Right Oh Yeah The 80s The Late 80s Early 90s Didn't Give A Fuck About You You're You're Pumping In Those Quarters Especially Like Konami Beat Them Ups Like The Simpsons Or Turtles More More Money More Money All The Time Yeah Elevator Action

[00:30:50] Returns Is Much More You Know Fair To The Player Maybe Probably Why Didn't Make That Much Money I Guess But What A Game Man This Is One Of

[00:31:22] Late 80s Early 90s Anime Steve Like 80 Police Something We've Covered On This Show It Doesn't It Doesn't Have That Super Futuristic Style But It Reminds Me Of Like That Like Very Well Put Together Stylish Clothes Plus Like Foreboding Atmosphere Kind Of Thing That I Really Really Enjoy Also The Violence Feels Pretty Visceral There's Some Good Like Blood Sprays Sometimes There's Like And There's

[00:31:52] Graffiti In English As You've Seen Like Just All Over The Place Like In This Game It's Very Like Anti Establishment But Like Radical Yeah I Mean It's Just An Incredible Game I Don't Want To Let You Move On To The Next Thing Before We Talk About The Music In This Game Which Is Again Like One Of My Favorite Soundtracks In Arcade History This Shit Is Incredible I Mean I Don't Even Know How To Describe It I Don't Know If It's Something You Took

[00:32:22] Notice Of While Playing I Don't If Stuff So Yeah I Actually I Didn't Finish This I Had I Was Pretty

[00:32:51] Far Along And I Had Something That Came Up That I Had To Attend To But I'm Go Then I Got To The Second Boss And I Hadn't Used Any Continues Yet Which Is

[00:33:21] Rare By This Point And Then I Used One And Then I Used One And Then I Used One I Think I Think Three Continues Just On That Fucking Boss And Like All of A sudden You Motive To Be To

[00:34:01] Play This Enough If You're Using In In This Movement Of All The Bullets That I I I I'm Never Going To Like Be Like Okay I Know Reliably If I Go Down In This Area This Is Where They're Going To Widen Up The Most Because It's So Like Widespread And Sporadic And I'm Not Shitting On This Game I Just I Think In General When I Talk About Shmups This Made Me Think About Why Of Course Again I'm Not Using Real Quarters So It Doesn't Really Fucking Matter But It Doesn't Feel

[00:34:30] I Think That's Just What Doesn't Feel Good Is I Know That All Of Sudden I'm Getting To This Point And If I'm Hit Three Times I Need To Hit That Quarter Button Again And That's Negative Feedback Because That Doesn't Make Me Feel Good Whereas If I'm Playing Side Scroll And Beat Them Up And I'm Still Hitting That Button Regularly If I Don't Know What I'm Doing Or

[00:35:06] I Had Enough Of This Because I Just Felt Shitty About My Skills At Playing Video Games But The Game So It Plays Great The Shooting Feels Really Good And Powerful They're Pretty Liberal With Giving You Pretty Good Guns And Widespread Or Whatever The Really Cool Graphical Effects The Ship When It Sinks At The End I Think It Was The

[00:36:02] End

[00:36:32] I I Would Get To A Boss I Would Spam All Of My Bombs Immediately To Try And Get Some Traction One Doesn't Need The Targeted Computer Dice I Mean That's Like The Whole Point Of The Game That's Literally The entire Mechanic but Holding Holding Down Shooting It

[00:37:03] You should be using that on bosses and not bosses alike. That's all I can say. Maybe I'll revisit this and see if I can figure it out a little bit better. Because, yeah, up to the bosses, it never seemed overly hard. And it feels good. I just felt like shit when I would get to the bosses and die over and over and over. I would feel like shit, too, if I didn't use the main mechanic of the game. This Super Mario game is pretty hard. I keep running into the guys.

[00:37:35] This is bullshit. This is bullshit. All right. Have I taken enough punishment? Can we hit the showers now? Well, I know. I was about to say I'm still hot from that penthouse story at the top. I think we really need to get in the shower, Steve. See, I think he's especially enthusiastic this week because he knows that we're probably like hopping in with wood.

[00:38:03] I'm thinking about the car dealership. I mean, we're ready to go this time. We are absolutely ready. Wear your fucking safety glasses because we're swinging. Let's go. It's time to hit the showers.

[00:39:08] Cheating-ass bitch. I said cheating-ass bitch. He's okay. You know what? Hello, everybody. We're back. I'm going to let everyone hear you calling me a bitch now. So, I mean, I deserve it, really. Yeah, well. That's fair. Okay. We have another taste test. And this taste test was a little bit in doubt because we couldn't find the product at hand. And the product is Sprite Plus T. Sprite T? I mean, it does have a plus.

[00:39:38] So do we pronounce the plus? Sprite Plus T? I think it's definitely Sprite Plus T. Okay. I'm going to tilt my head and do the very weeby thing and say Sprite Cross T. Oh, Lord. Okay. Well, when you take a sip, it's at the 45-degree angle. It is Sprite Cross T. I have to say I'm very excited.

[00:40:01] I really wanted to do this one when Sprite Plus T came into our group chat because, Steve, I'm sorry. I'm going to throw you under the bus. Steve is a fucking huge tea snob. Multiple times before. I've seen Steve go on quite serious rants where he's like, oh, those fucking idiots down south, they think they know what iced tea is. That kind of swill isn't iced tea. They're just dumping sugar.

[00:40:28] He might have to articulate a little bit more, but he's got very strong tea opinions. They're very to America's. Very to America's opinions. That's all I can say. Okay. I just, all I do is say, you know, I don't particularly like sweet tea that much where all you do is pour one bag of sugar into one cup of iced tea and then you pour that into a pitcher. And then Andre's like, what are you talking about? That's all iced tea is. I'm like.

[00:40:56] I have never said those words. Please. How dare you? Where you got it really hung up at one point was that they were calling it iced tea and you're like, that's not iced tea. That's sweet tea. That was the problem was it was the nomenclature of the tea. Right. I mean, I guess that is sweet tea, but I'm like, okay. Okay. For me, it's iced. I like unsweetened iced tea. Sometimes it has lemon in it. I mean, that's what I like. And then Andre gets on my case about that. I'm like, your tea can't taste like tea.

[00:41:26] We get it. You're white. Okay. God, I understand. It's fine. It's okay. I've literally never had just cold unsweetened tea ever. I don't think I've ever had that either. I got if I got to have a bit of sugar, I'm not dumping the whole thing of sugar in there. Like Steve is accusing me of, even though I like sweet tea, but I want a little something. I want at least a packet of sugar. Sorry. It's called lemon or lime. And sugar. It doesn't need it.

[00:41:56] Even when the Sprite plus tea was introduced to us, it was Steve that showed us. And what was your reaction? Because it was like, oh, look at this fucking horrible bullshit. Yeah. So here's the thing. He's going to judge this by tea standards. I'm probably going to judge this by Sprite standards. But like, I mean, I feel like it's going to be neither. That's my prediction. Do you guys said, do you think this is going to be good? I think it's going to be weird. If I'm being real, it's probably going to just taste like Sprite. Okay.

[00:42:26] I immediately thought it was going to be good when Steve showed us. And actually, so my daughter has tried it. And oh, did you show it? Yeah. Because Trey showed it to me. Friend of the show Trey showed it to me. So I put the image in our chat. And then Steve attacked it. If we can find it. Yeah. Then he descended upon it with his eagle claws. Yes. I gotcha. Okay. But my daughters tried it and my mom tried it just last weekend. And they both said it was really good. And I thought it was going to be good.

[00:42:56] I'm like super excited to drink this. I predict I'm going to have a few of these around for when my blood sugar is low. Okay. Wow. Okay. So high hopes. I think it's going to be weird. Steve, you think it's going to be bad? I think it's going to be Sprite at best. Okay. So, all right, let's start. Let's open. Let's open these bottles. Doesn't really smell like much.

[00:43:26] Oh, a little lemon. It smells like iced tea. Yeah. A little lemon hit. Smells like nasty. And that's not positive for me. Smells. Smells. All right. Are we ready to take a sip? I'm ready to take this journey with all of you. Okay. Let's go. That is weird. Good. It's it's refreshing.

[00:43:56] You like it? Okay. I'm not sure yet, Steve. This is a Sprite. It's very Sprite forward. Is it? I'm not getting tea. I think so. I think it's very Sprite forward. Because I smell nasty, but I'm not. I'm not getting much lemon, I think, is what. Well, because that's weird because it's Sprite. You're supposed to get that kind of. I'm getting more lemons.

[00:44:25] I taste it more. I literally think it kind of tastes like if you took a glass and you filled it half with Sprite and half with iced tea. That's pretty much what it fucking tastes like, which is pretty good. It's definitely not bad. That's for sure. I definitely taste iced tea. I don't think it's as Sprite forward as you guys are claiming it to be. I think this is just Sprite that someone made brown. I don't know. I'm not going to go that far.

[00:44:54] I definitely taste tea. Do you like it, Steve? I'm not buying anymore, but I mean, I'll finish this one. Don't ask him that. He doesn't like anything anyway. Yeah. Two weeks ago where I liked the mango mango rush. Okay. You did. You did like that. You did like that. And so did I. Yeah. This is.

[00:45:23] I mean, look, I'm not. Yeah. There is definitely tea here. Maybe for me, I would want a little more tea. Because like I said, it's very Sprite forward. I'm not like I want more. I think honestly, if I just straight up squeezed a lemon in this, it would be perfect. I think I want more like iced tea lemony just to like a little bit. I think it's incredibly lemony.

[00:45:50] And I think they fucked up this entire thing. If we're tasting that something that differently. We have different taste buds humans do. I mean, I think I feel like it's okay, Steve, which is why. Some people can have sweet tea and it's fine. It's still tea. I don't. I don't know. It's. I don't know how I feel about this. I'm having trouble formulating thoughts. Kevin's on board though. Yeah. I definitely can taste the Sprite. And maybe I don't think it's very Sprite forward.

[00:46:19] Maybe it's slightly Sprite dominant. Maybe a little bit. See, I don't. I don't think I would want to add lemon to mine. I think I would just want to add more like iced tea. Maybe. But I don't. I don't. I don't know if I want to fuck with it. It's pretty good. It's good. It's. It is definitely. Again, this is something I'm going to buy all the time. No, but this is definitely good. I will probably have a couple more. I got two for four bucks. So I have another one in the fridge. I'll definitely drink that too.

[00:46:48] Steve, are you not giving it a fair enough shake because of your tea preconceptions? Be honest. We all know the answer to that. Kevin, I'm drinking a Sprite right now. I'm considering this a lucky gamble and that I have a very Sprite forward bottle here. You didn't even answer my question. He didn't answer at all. I'm reflecting because you know you have an anti-tea bias. I'm answering your question. I'm answering the question. What am I drinking here? It's a Sprite. I'm not even tasting tea here.

[00:47:18] If my grandma didn't stir this with our wooden spoon from 1973 on our freshly painted white porch. Within the last three weeks of July, this is bullshit tea. Yep. That's what he's doing. No, no, no, no. You know what? You know, Arizona, which is like high fructose corn syrup. And they might have waved a lemon and some tea in there.

[00:47:47] That tastes more like tea than this does. That does. I agree. By the way, I love Arizona. So don't get me twisted with this guy. I will drink that shit. No. Okay. Okay. I loved Arizona, too, until that was making me sick too much, but not because of tea, but other reasons. I mean, I don't drink it. I don't drink it every day, but I do definitely like a can of Arizona. Still 99 cents around these parts, by the way. It's still 99 cents. It's still mostly 99 out here, too. Yeah.

[00:48:16] I think I'm warming up to it, Kevin. I was kind of unsure of that first sip, but the more I drink this, the more I like it. Also, I usually kind of drink my drinks room temperature. I got this out of the fridge, and I usually, for these taste tests, I do drink them cold because that's how you would get it at the convenience store. That's how most people drink soda. As I let this sit here throughout the show, I think I'm going to like it more.

[00:48:43] So near the end of the show, if we remember, I'll take another sip. As it's warmed up a bit, I'll probably taste more tea. I think because it's cold, it dulls stuff. I think I might like it a bit more as it gets a bit warm. I don't know. I think especially something with iced tea in it, I feel like you definitely want that cold. I don't know. I like most things room temperature. I really do. With a soda in particular, I would need that cold.

[00:49:12] I can deal with a lukewarm iced tea. I can't have a warm soda. I just can't. Yeah, I'm totally fine with it. Especially cola. Like Pepsi, you're down with Pepsi being room temperature? Absolutely. Yeah. That's not cool. I always keep a couple of Pepsis by my game stand over there just because I don't want to get up to the fridge and get it and I don't want it to be cold anyway. The only time I really want it cold is if it's like, I just got in. I'm so fucking hot. I'm reaching to cool myself off.

[00:49:42] Then I really want a cold soda. But for the most part, nah, not really. What about water? Would you get water out of the tap? Yeah. Like, is it warm? Like, lukewarm? Yeah. It's a bit cold, you know, if you hear it. I mean, it's an ice ice cold. Like in the winter, it's obviously colder, right? But nah, it's fine. That's fucking crazy because I will like turn the tap as far to the cold side as I can and

[00:50:09] like let it run for like 10 seconds and feel it until it's maximum cold to drink. I do that too, but it's not very cold around here. It's a bit cold, but it's not like super cold. Steve. Kevin, I feed on ice cubes. I need cold. I need my cold drinks to be cold. So we're in agreeance that Andre is a freak. I'm a freak. I'm a freak of the week. For sure. No, I know I'm unusual about that shit.

[00:50:36] But yeah, Sprite plus tea, a little weird, but I'm warming up to it. That's my verdict. I think mine's just broken. All right. We're coming down from our sugar high a little bit. We know we got a little heated. Steve, I'm, you know, we said things. I'm not going to apologize, but you know, it is what it is. It's all right.

[00:51:05] I found some real tea in the meantime. It's okay. That's okay. I mean, I'm not going to say disparaging things. Like I said before, I'm thinking them, but I'm just not going to say them out loud. Well, that's just how civilized society works. I might say them. We better move along because I'm pretty close to saying them. We should move on. We should move on before Kevin gets rowdy. Let's just turn our attention towards Randy Pitchford.

[00:51:29] You know, Randy Pitchford, that greasy sleazebag, you know, the president of Borderlands. That's just what he is now. The president of Borderlands. I love it. We have a show title, everybody. The president of Borderlands.

[00:51:54] Anyway, he just decided to address the potential price point of Borderlands 4 being $79.99 US dollars by claiming it's not his call. Okay, sure. Then doubling down by saying real fans would find a way to make it happen before going old man brain by rambling on about how Starflight for the Genesis cost that in 1991.

[00:52:19] And he found a way to make that happen with his minimum wage ice cream job out of high school at the time. God damn. Well, if Randy Pitchford did it, then we can too. Of course. And also, can we before Steve, before you go on, do we buy that? Do we buy that? It's not his call that it's $80. I mean, it may not be, but it's not entirely his call, but he's got some say. I believe he's been.

[00:52:47] Yeah, he's been a top executive at like these companies for like a long time now. Borderlands was like 15 years ago. Like he's made take two a lot of money. Or is it 2K? I don't I don't even know. I can't keep trying either, but okay. Yeah. Like, I mean, come on. He has pool. If he says like, no, I want to lower the price of this game. I feel like he Kevin, he can do that. I feel like he's just making shit up.

[00:53:12] Yeah, I mean, he's definitely going to have some like interaction and say with how like ongoing monetization for the game is going to go. And that like plays an absolute factor here as well. Right. So he's got to be part of that discussion at the very least. For sure. Anyway, Steve, go on. Unfortunately, that's not where this unfortunate tweeting ends because Baldur's Gate publishing director, Michael Dows, made a statement calling Pitchford statement.

[00:53:40] Gross and tone deaf. As it was. Devolver makes its own statement saying you'll be able to buy four copies of Micropunk, their own upcoming shooter for the hypothetical same price as Borderlands 4. Devolver does not miss when they see an opportunity. They don't miss. I wish they would have said something about how stinky he looks and how fucking gross his hair is. I feel like you're the only one who feels that way.

[00:54:09] I mean, maybe not the only one, but there is no. Have you fucking seen him? There is no way I'm the only one that feels that way. I've been looking at this man for a long time. Yes. I love Borderlands, unfortunately. So, yes, I am well acquainted with the way he looks. It never crossed your mind before you had met me that he looks like he stinks and has got progressively stinkier since time has went on. I don't think he looks like he stinks. I think he just looks meth-y.

[00:54:39] I don't know if maybe those are like the same things, but go on. Anyway, Steve. In the end, he would make a very half-assed apology after some other people on Twitter fed his tweets into a handsome Jack AI. Like, they spat it out, what he said, and they're like, oh, man, that's what I sound like? Oh, my bad, you guys. Guys.

[00:55:06] It's like every Republican who doesn't know they're the villain unless, like, completely faced with their own reality. You know, it's like, oh, wait, that sucks, actually. Now it's happening to me. You know, it's just like, come on.

[00:55:22] So, okay, we've been having variations of this discussion ever since everyone decided Nintendo invented $80 games, Steve, which we kind of took the task last week. Just this year, they invented $80 games. No, nary a game has ever been $80. You all just sat there and bought $60 games for your Xbox 360 until you wanted to pay $100 for your premium Gears of War 3.

[00:55:51] But no, you've never paid more for a video game before. Never. Anyway, I wanted to come back to this because in the past and probably last big deal, I brought up the fact that, you know, Chrono Trigger was $80 or Killer Instinct Gold, I paid $85 for it. Or Phantasy Star 4 was like $90, right? Like, and let me distance myself, though, from Randy Pitchford here.

[00:56:16] When I brought up those prices, I wasn't trying to equate those 90s prices to our situation today. It doesn't really equate that way. What I was trying to say was back then, we didn't necessarily see those prices as adversarial. We just found something else to play. Oh, man, that shit's really expensive, that Phantasy Star 4. I guess I'll buy this one. That's $30.

[00:56:40] We didn't have this thing nowadays where it's like, oh, no, the price of game, like everyone's having this hemming and hawing about it versus like back then. It was just kind of like, OK, that's what the game costs. You either pay it or you don't. And maybe that's what Randy Pitchford was trying to say. I'm not trying to give him benefit of the doubt here because he doesn't deserve any. But it's like not everyone is going to find a way to make it work. We have entire games that are free, motherfucker.

[00:57:07] I can go play Marvel Rivals for $0, like an entire ass game with like Marvel characters online with my friends for nothing. You're going to have to make a very attractive proposition for you for someone to pay $80 for your game. That proposition is Mario Kart World. That proposition is not Borderlands 4, like, sorry. And I love Borderlands. I do. I'm not paying $80 for it, though. I won't. I'll just wait like I always do, Kevin.

[00:57:38] Yeah, actually, you would be the perfect person to ask about this. Like, in my mind, I don't I wonder if he's overestimating how many, you know, hardcore Borderlands fans there are. And I'm not saying it's small. Obviously, like they're doing their own state of play for this. I just feel like after after Borderlands 2, it was a much more appealing property than after 3. I didn't really feel like 3 had that same hyper presence, especially for a little while after release.

[00:58:06] I'm not saying the franchise is dead and out. But I don't think people care about this franchise in specific as much as they did 10 years ago. I think you are correct. Obviously, there was a big gap between Borderlands 2 and 3 to the Borderlands 2 was 2012. Borderlands 3 was 19, I believe. So that's like a long time. And people forget about you. And also things change. Culture has changed.

[00:58:34] Borderlands had a very specific late 2000s type of meme humor that a lot of people find annoying. I, you know, people always ask me, how can you stand the characters in the game or the humor? For me, it's just like, I don't know, man. If I don't think it's funny, then like, whatever. I mean, I'm shooting stuff. I'm finding cool guns. It's like the humor isn't like the point of the game for me. I get it. It's very like in your face and you can't ignore it.

[00:59:05] But yeah, as long as as long as the gameplay is good, I'm there. I mean, it's the same thing I said about what's that fucking Xbox 360 game you had me play. You love so much by Insomniac. Sunset Overdrive. Sunset Overdrive. Oh, OK. Yeah, I find the humor in that game fucking repellent. But I think that game like I never want to hear anybody talk. That game is great. OK, so I can get over it if the gameplay is good enough. And Borderlands gameplay is always good enough. But yes, I'm sorry.

[00:59:34] I'm getting off track to answer your question. Yeah. Like, it's not as big as it was because Borderlands 3 isn't as good as 2. It's still really good. It's just not as good. So and the fact that they're marketing Borderlands 4 as a thing, I'm sure you guys have both noticed this. It's like, well, here it is. You all know what this is. It's Borderlands. Yeah. It's the fourth one. Kind of doesn't instill me with confidence, but I'm going to play it not for $80 or so.

[01:00:02] Well, and like I said, like we know this is a franchise that does the season pass thing, right? So when we're talking about going to like $80 as a standard now, we haven't really been having that. Have we seen anything do that? That we would expect to have a season pass at this point? Because I think when we're talking about something that already like has been set up to pull out more income than just like base MSRP that does change people's expectations for MSRP as well.

[01:01:00] Yeah. I think that's a good thing. I think that's a good thing.

[01:01:14] I think that game is exceptional. I love Street Fighter 6, but that's just one thing. That's like also $30 on top of that. So it's like $70. I paid $60 for the game. Now you want me to pay $70 for like a year more of content that isn't really going to be that substantial. I'm fucking out of here.

[01:01:45] Right? So yeah, Borderlands can charge $80. And if they want to have like another $40 season pass, like, you know, how much are people willing to take? I don't know, Steve. See, I don't really know either.

[01:02:00] I mean, we've already established Randy might not be 100% responsible for those decisions, but surely he has to be aware of, you know, the sales that Borderland frequently goes on and how everyone just tends to wait for that to happen. Right? Like, is he just completely oblivious to that? Or does he just save money on all that deodorant? Kevin, am I doing this right? That was the right thing to say. Here's my thing.

[01:02:29] I think he uses deodorant. I just think it doesn't work. I just think there's no stopping the Randy pitch. He like only applies it directly to his butthole. I know. Nobody ever taught him how to use deodorant. Can you imagine doing that with like a deodorant with a little bit of zing, like old school old spice or something? It has a little to it, you know, accidentally ram some Annie purse sprint up there.

[01:02:58] Oh, he's never going to shit again. Yeah. I don't know, man. It's weird. Again, I love Borderlands. So this sucks for me. I don't want this game to be $80, but I can tell you right now I'm not paying it. And I was actually thinking, okay, because like Borderlands 3, I kind of just waited for PS5, you know? So I was like, it's coming out for that. I'll just wait, which I did. So I got Borderlands 3 when it was like a lot cheaper, plus all the DLC.

[01:03:26] There's no reason in the world I'm not going to do that again. It's like the Ubisoft disrespect, right? Nobody ever buys Ubisoft games at full price because it's just like now you get Avatar Pandora for 15 bucks or something. Yeah. You know? Same thing's going to happen, man. I have a question that's slightly off topic.

[01:03:46] And I just was thinking about, Andre, when you were talking about between 2012 and 2019 and kind of people like where society was at and like how like receptive people were to that humor. And then after you said that, I feel like between 2019 and now it's going to be even quite a bit harder to capitalize on that kind of humor. Like I think, I think just like internet culture has so far surpassed where that is. And Borderlands 3 definitely was like pretty still rooted in that.

[01:04:16] And I was, do you guys agree? Like, do you think that this is, this might, that might be like an actual big problem for this game in 2025? Yeah. I don't know how they're gonna like, well, because like, here's the thing. I think they're aware that people are done with it because like, I don't know, I think they found the Borderlands 4 writer on Twitter and people were messaging him. Man, if there is one Hawk Tua joke in this game, I swear to God, like, don't do it.

[01:04:43] You know, like people are, don't want that anymore. And I think they're aware of that. But the problem is, I don't know what you do. It's Borderlands. What else are you supposed to do? I don't have an answer for that either. I also don't know enough about Borderlands to have an answer for that. Sorry, Andre. All right.

[01:05:13] So Mortal Kombat 1 or Mortal 1 Combat, as we affectionately call it around this show, because they just put the one in the middle of the mortal and the combat. So I don't know if you're reading left or right. That's Mortal 1 Combat to me. The game is done. So NetherRealm Studios confirmed that the game won't be getting any more DLC characters, costumes, etc. It's over.

[01:05:37] It's been no secret that Mortal 1 Combat has been the worst performing Mortal Kombat in a very long time. It sold dramatically less than Mortal Kombat 11, which came out in 2019 and I think sold like 15 million copies. Like that game was hot. I think Mortal Kombat X sold like 10 million. You know, like Mortal Kombat was hot shit last decade. And with this new entry, it probably sold, I think, like five to 7 million.

[01:06:04] We haven't seen hard numbers on it because Warner Brothers, but not nearly as good. So obviously they're moving on from it and they're making a new game. They said that's not a big surprise. But Steve, what the hell do they do right now? What are they supposed to do? Mortal 1 Combat was called that because it was yet another reboot of the series. So they can't just do that again. They have to play off of this if they're going to make a Mortal Kombat.

[01:06:32] Like, do they make Injustice 3? Does anyone even want that? Like, where do they go from here? I honestly have no idea, Andre. I know I wasn't hot on Mortal 1 Combat when this came up a few years ago. I, listen back, I was not nice to this game at all. I wasn't. When it was unveiled, yeah. But I figured the fans were going to be all about it. Guys, the fans were obviously not all about it. And that's the thing right now.

[01:07:02] WB and, well, yeah, WB, not just WB Games. They don't have a whole lot of patience for things that go super far right this fucking second. Nope. At the moment. So while Injustice 3 sounds like the super obvious choice to be like, yep, that's what they're doing. Next topic, Andre. No, not necessarily. Because after watching Multiverse's shit the bed.

[01:07:31] Oh, I forgot about that. I can't believe I forgot about that. Yeah, really? I know, right? I don't know if they're so quick to, you know, greenlight another crossover fighting game, even if it's more refined than that. I know the movie entertainment side is largely separate from the video game side of things. But I know WB is just hemorrhaging money right now.

[01:07:58] They're not having a great time with all this at the moment. And I'm sure, like, because a lot of their season two characters are like, yeah, I don't know if it was using his voice or anything, but it was definitely his likeness. You know, like, it's been, oh, they had a ghost face from Scream. Mm-hmm. Right?

[01:08:27] Like, they've been having, like, very expensive stuff in this game. None of that stuff could have been cheap. So, I don't know if it's not really going to work out. So, I don't know. I hope it's not Injustice 3. Those are not games I've ever liked. Kevin, I know you're not really into, like, fighting games, so you don't really pay attention to this stuff. Could you, do you remember, though, how big Mortal Kombat was, like, 10 years ago versus now? Like, surely you even feel that.

[01:08:55] Yeah, I definitely remember it being more of a thing than now, for sure. Yeah. And I think everyone knows that right now. But, okay, here, I have a half-baked theory, okay? I'm just going to tell you guys this. I'm going to try to manifest this. Here's what I think might happen. Ed Boone is so sick of making Mortal Kombat. He's going to leave. How about that?

[01:09:22] Is it going to kickstart Mortal Twombat or whatever the fake game is going to be on Kickstarter? Immortal Wombat. Immortal Wombat on Kickstarter. Okay, like, obviously I'm joking, but, like, he has to be sick of doing this, right? He has to want to do something else at this point. I mean, he loves Mortal Kombat. It's the reason why it still exists, even though John Tobias is out of the picture.

[01:09:52] He's been the one keeping this alive. Like, surely he can't just want to do this forever. Ed Boone only fans. Nobody's going to pay for that. Does that mean? Oh, somebody would. Okay. More like Ed Boone only fans. Who said anyone? What? I don't know what other future you would have. I mean, that's been his career.

[01:10:21] What else? What else would you do? I don't know, man. I would like to see him strike out on his own and do something weird, though. It can be another fighting game. It could be. It's clear that the man loves this type of motif and he's not going to give it up. But just could they ever remember? Okay. I don't know. Remember the 2000s? He used to get weird with it. Remember Mortal Kombat? Shaolin monks. You guys remember that game? Yeah. Yeah. Or like Kevin does and he's making a face at me.

[01:10:51] I don't remember. It was like a fixed perspective, like third person adventure fighting game where you kind of like kind of overhead and just kind of almost like a fancy kind of beat them up almost. But it was like a standalone game. I remember the like Sub-Zero. There was a Sub-Zero like side scrolling platformer, right? Yeah, that was terrible. We prefer not to talk about that one. Yeah, that's like one of the worst games ever. That shit's awful. But yes, there was that, right? Oh, remember they made a Jax one or they had like maybe it was 3D. Remember they made a Jax game?

[01:11:22] That was 3D-ish, I think. Yeah, that was. I think they were just reusing assets from four and trying to like do something. Anyway, yeah, I hope he gets to. I don't know whether it's within Mortal Kombat or not. I just hope the man gets to do something different. Fine time.

[01:11:51] All right, guys, here's something we're going to try now. For a few months now, I've been wanting to see if the three of us together collectively could come up with an agreed upon list of the top 10 consoles of all time. I want to see if we can do this. I don't know how this is going to work out. This could be the shortest segment ever. We're just going to agree.

[01:12:20] This could be a very long segment where we argue for an hour about who God knows what. But I just want to try it. I want to see if we can do this. I saw a streamer do it and I'm ripping him off. So I want to see if we can do it as well. Okay. What do you guys say? Steve, ready to argue with me? Super Nintendo Entertainment System. Thank you. Great argument. Kevin?

[01:12:47] I think we're going to be able to bang out like seven pretty easily that we're all agreeable upon. And then all of a sudden there's going to be like three down at the bottom that there might be some adjustment in arguing at that point. I don't think we're going to get that far. I don't think it's going to be seven. I think we may do like four or five. So to that point, let's just get started. Okay. I have a pad in front of me. Let's do the ones first that all of us are going to agree on. Okay. Okay.

[01:13:16] There is no way that switch doesn't make that list. Yes, absolutely. Chief. Okay. Writing it down. Switch. I know we're doing this in no particular order. No, no particular order. I would put Switch at the top, though. I'm just saying. Would you guys put Switch at the top or is it? Oh, I don't know about all that. I would have to think about it. But like, okay, let's lock in Switch. We're locking it in. Okay. Super Nintendo, right, guys?

[01:13:46] Of course. Yep. Okay. What else can we agree on? Y'all want to say DS? And there's a lot of, like, handhelds I'd probably put over original DS. I think DS is, like, easily the best Nintendo handheld library for sure. Oh, yes. I gotta say DS. DS. Okay. Well, okay. We'll put DS in the maybe.

[01:14:16] Okay. I'll make a maybe pile. What about PS2? PS2 feels correct. I feel like that has to be there, Steve. Immediately of the PlayStations, yes. Yes. Okay. Let's lock in PS2. Lock in PS2. I'm going to subsequently throw out a similar. What about PS4? That's hard. I would love to say yes to that, though.

[01:14:46] I would love to. Let's put that in the maybe pile for now. I'm kind of agreeing with you right now, but I want to talk that one out. Okay? Do you guys want to say Xbox 360? Not really? I think I just, it's hard to, like, I think we need to, like, firm up the list a little bit more. I think the 360 deserves a spot in the maybe pile. Okay. I'll put it over there. Um, do we?

[01:15:16] Okay. GameCube. It's one of my favorites, but I don't know on a broad list like this where I'm being nice with you people. It's on my list, but. I'm, I'm for. I might, I could be talked into it. Right now, I'm not really there, but I'm not super opposed. I feel like I would have to think about it. It's not a stone cold lock for me, though.

[01:15:41] I think if I was doing, like, Nintendo home consoles after Switch and Super Nintendo, GameCube comes at number three. It is for me, too. I mean, we really just have to browbeat Andre into it at this point. Yeah, I mean, I'm not, again, you won't have to do much convincing. I'm not totally opposed. Honestly, I would put GameCube above PS2, actually. Not, not in, not in quantity, but strictly in quality. I would put GameCube above PS2.

[01:16:11] I would as well. Like, obviously, we're Nintendo people. That's the way we lean. So if we've all locked in PS2, if you would as well, then we've got to lock in GameCube. Why are you even being reluctant? I said PS2. No, let me sit. Let me sit. Let me just sit. We will probably have it. We will probably have it. Let's let me, let me marinate. This is a bargaining chip down the road when he's trying to tell us that Dreamcast makes the list. Oh, Dreamcast is here. I'm deleting this entire show.

[01:16:41] Dreamcast is on this list. I don't know what to tell you. I mean, there's a lot of interesting stuff on the Dreamcast that wouldn't hold a candle to some of the other stuff. I think it needs to be on the list. I think we need to put the Dreamcast in the maybe pile. Buddy, it's, it's okay, fine. We'll, we'll talk about that later. But I mean, fine. I'm writing it down and maybe. So what do we have as hard yeses right now?

[01:17:09] The hard yeses we have right now are Switch, SNES, and PS2. Those are absolute. Oh, that's it. Stone Cold block. Damn. Yeah. Those are the only ones we've got. We've got quite a bit of room on this list still. Yeah. We can probably be a little bit more generous drafting things in. I want to, I want to return to the DS conversation. I think Game Boy Advance one, like hands down is, is above DS. I know way. Like DS looks like shit. Honestly. Like it's just, it's.

[01:17:38] What games are you playing? I would not, I would not say, I would not consider Game Boy Advance for this. I'm sorry. I would consider regular Game Boy, like old ass brick Game Boy. I don't think I would consider Game Boy Advance. Game Boy Advance is an honorable mention. It's a really great system. I thought Steve was going to be with me for sure. Okay. Sell me on DS. Cause I'm just not seeing it. I had a DS, like there was some good shit on there, but. Bro, like the, everything.

[01:18:08] Like, I mean, yeah, we had those like experimental early years, of course, but like, I mean, there's just so many, I don't even know where to begin. Like, first of all, the RPGs on DS are just out of this world. I don't want to hear about Golden Sun, Dark Dick or whatever that fucking thing is called. But like, Steve, like as a RPG machine on the go, I mean, people say PSP. I don't think so. It's DS. No, it's DS. And I know neither one of you played The World Ends With You, but it's the best game on the system probably.

[01:18:39] So. The three Dragon Quest remakes. Like, get out of here, man. Like that, we had a Bangayo. We had a Bangayo Spirits. The best version of Chrono Trigger. I mean, and I'm not even talking the Nintendo stuff. We know the Nintendo stuff already. I don't even want to get into Nintendogs and shit. Cause like, who cares? But like, I don't know, man. Okay, but even the Nintendo stuff on DS, like what really persists?

[01:19:06] I don't, I don't think in retro, like Mario Kart DS was the first, like, pretty, like, accurate to what you want-ish on a console, on a handheld. But, but like, it hasn't held up in retrospect, I don't think. I don't believe that at all. I think Mario Kart DS is excellent. So, I don't know, man. I have New Super Mario Brothers. People like to talk shit now. New Super Mario Brothers, fucking awesome. Especially at the time, yeah. Tetris DS, great. Meteos, great.

[01:19:34] Like, I mean, I, this system just has so much, man. And the three Castlevanias, the Castlevania trilogy on DS, like, I, sorry. I just think this system is an all-timer. I do. Pokepels would yell at me if I didn't bring a Pokemon black and white right now. Yeah, a lot of people consider- Okay, I think there's enough room on, on the list for the DS. I don't, I don't like live in hatred of the DS by any stretch.

[01:20:00] I just don't, I'm not, not as enthusiastic about it. Oh, I know what this is about. This is about his sister ruining his DS light. That did fucking piss me off. We're going to do, we're going to do a, a, a sideshow one time about all the things that my sister has done to wrong me. It's going to be like five hours long. That's going to be Kevin's first solo show. Yeah. No music or anything. Just get right in front of the microphone. No edits.

[01:20:30] Just right in there. Can we lock in DS please, Kevin? Come on. Lock it in. Sure. All right. So we have four of them here. Guys, I want to go back in time here and I don't think you'll agree with me, but I think it should be here and it's an Atari 2600. I think it should absolutely be on this list. Like, look, I don't have to go over the games, but like, I mean, you know them already.

[01:20:58] It's just that like, for that, like pure, simple fun. I still think those games are fun. I do. I'm not doing a retroactive thing. Cause like, even that's before my time, believe it or not, Kevin, I'm not that old, but like, I don't know, man. I think Atari 2600 kind of fucking belongs here. I don't want to be one of those shows that just begins at NES as if that's like the talking, we're not, we're not, we're talking about best consoles, right? Top 10 best consoles.

[01:21:26] Not like, not important to progress, not like historical significance or anything. I, I just, I, man, I don't see it. Like it was just too primitive and janky to like, be like truly effective. Do you feel that way, Steve? If only because a lot of that hardware did barely held together. I mean, yeah, there were all those unique controllers and things, but they barely worked after the first year or so.

[01:21:55] That's not what we're talking about. We're talking about the games. Come on. And how do you play the games? On my fucking PS4 with a, with a dual sense. That's how I play them. Then we need to put PS4 on the list then. You know, don't fucking do this to the fucking show. You know exactly what we're doing here. Do you think the Atari 2600 belongs here or not? I think it belongs on the maybe pile. I'm Kevin. We're not going to convince Kevin.

[01:22:25] I think I should just give up. I think like pretty much everything on the maybe pile deserves that spot more than the 2600. And again, I don't like, I don't, I don't, I don't fucking hate the Atari 2600. I just don't like, man, I don't see it at all. Are you like, what about, okay. What about NES? I think like everything you just fucking said about 2600, you know, if we talk in terms of moving forward one generation, like it is like much more defensible about NES.

[01:22:53] I think NES doesn't have enough like all time great games. I think there's a lot of great stuff on NES, obviously, but I think the average NES game isn't that good. And what all time greats are on our Atari 2600? I mean, any number of those simple ass. I mean, what, what, what is that one? Not River Raid. Am I, am I making River Raid and Barnstormer the same game or those two different games? I don't know.

[01:23:23] Like the, the, the arcade ports that really do work are excellent. Like Frogger or like Pitfall on 2600 is cool. Yeah. Like, I think like everyone talks about Yars of Revenge. I actually don't even like that game that much. It's cool. I mean, I actually do, but not. It's cool. Don't get me wrong. But like, no, I mean like you're, you're correct though. Like Atari 2600 doesn't have that.

[01:23:48] But to me, Atari 2600 is almost like the Super Nintendo where it doesn't have like the tip tops for me, but like you can pick up your average Atari 2600 game and get something out of it. It's decent. And I just think there's a lot of that game that I pick up. I'm like, I don't have a fucking clue what's going on here. I need to look up on the internet, like how I'm even supposed to like visually interpret this. Because Kevin's younger than us. We get it. Well, that's where you really needed the manual more than you really even needed the manual in the eight and 16 bit era.

[01:24:17] You really needed the manual for those. Otherwise it's like, what the hell am I doing? But that's not your fault or the game's fault rather. It's just, that's just the era. Okay. I mean, look, I'm not married to it. I would personally put a targeting 2600 on here, but I'm not going to fight over it. So if you guys don't really want it. If we get down to like eight and we don't have better options, then I think we can like absolutely revisit that discussion. Okay. Okay. You know what? Then I'll put it on. Maybe I'll put it on. Maybe for now.

[01:24:46] I don't really feel it though. Guys, Dreamcast has got to be here. It absolutely has to be here. Sorry. Do I have to name the games for you? I don't think I do. No, you don't. Of the second machines, it's got to be Dreamcast. It has to, Kevin. Come on. Yeah. I mean, we're not, we're not like fucking banging out this list. Let's, let's, okay. Let's put it on the list. And then if we like find something that I like, there's not space for that.

[01:25:16] I like truly thinks deserves to bump off the Dreamcast. I'll advocate for it at that time. I don't, I don't, I don't know. I'm not, I don't know that. I think like a list of top 10, it doesn't belong necessarily. It's hard for me to like gauge how much space is on this list. Like in comparison. Okay. I understand. Well, we have locked in again for, for record. We have locked in switch SNES PS2 and DS. Those are our four locks. I really think PS4 deserves a spot.

[01:25:46] I think I, I kind of agree. I kind of agree, Steve. I mean, what's a PS five, but a better PS four. I mean, I guess it should be there, right? And not an Xbox one, right? PS four. I know, no. The only Xbox I would personally consider. I'm saying it right now is three 60. I don't think I would consider any other Xbox.

[01:26:16] Yeah. I would agree with that. Okay. So we, do we want to lock in PS four? Let's lock in that. I vote yes. Let's lock it in. Do we still have GameCube outstanding as GameCube still on? Maybe GameCube is still on. Maybe do we really, so what is there four spots left? Do you think we're going to find four things? Okay. Are we going to find four consoles that deserve that spot more than GameCube? Maybe not.

[01:26:46] Look, I'm, I'm kind of with you. I'm the same place on that as you are on Dreamcast. Like I will likely want it to be here. I don't have a problem with it being here. I just want to feel out some other stuff. And one thing I want to feel out, and I, I don't think you guys are going to go for it, but here's the thing. We can't add the arcade or pinball to this list, right? Because those aren't consoles. What is a console is the motherfucking Neo Geo. Yes.

[01:27:16] I think it, okay, you're with me? Steve is with you. Lock it in. I, I has to be here. I don't think, I, come on, man. Lock that shit in, Andre. I'm not, I'm not super against this. This is not my wheelhouse, obviously, but I, I, I get like, get why. I won't, I won't oppose. Oh, right. Okay, let's lock it in. All right. I'm happy.

[01:27:46] Very happy. The reason the Neo Geo wasn't like wildly successful was because it was expensive as fuck. And I think that's like the only reason. Right. But also like, I almost never think of the Neo Geo as a home console. To me, it's just something you did at the arcade. So it's like, I'm just saying, I guess if, if theoretically, if you like, if, if it was as available and priced similarly to Super Nintendo, and I guess was like getting the like support for that reason. Well, the arcade cabinet itself was a console. Right.

[01:28:16] Yeah. You kind of just plugged in that because that was the whole thing about it. It's like, hey, arcade operators, you buy one cabinet and you can buy these boards, you know? So that's kind of how it worked. Okay. Um, okay. We put on PS4. Let me cross that. Do you guys want to consider? I kind of briefly brought it up. Do you want to consider Game Boy old brass brick Game Boy? I think that's worth considering as a lot of bangers.

[01:28:42] I mean, I'm willing to consider it, especially if we can consider Game Boy and Game Boy color. Yeah, sure. Those are the same thing to me. They are to me as well. Yeah. You know what? If, if those are the rules we must play by, which are not agreeable, but if that's what we're, if that's what we're doing, if it's Game Boy and Game Boy color, then sure. Okay. Y'all want to walk it in. I'm okay with it.

[01:29:07] But I, man, I, I, there's no, if, if GameCube does not wind up on that list, I would like absolutely advocate for GameCube bumping Game Boy slash Game Boy color. Well, I think. Two separate consoles. We're locking in Game Boy. And you know what, you know what I'm going to do for you on this list? I'm going to write down Game Boy in parentheses, put color. That's what I'm going to do.

[01:29:36] I think it should be Game Boy slash color rather than parentheses, but whatever. Let's move on. I wrote down the word color. You should be happy. I even did that. Let's recap for the people. Our top 10 so far, Switch, SNES, PS2, DS, PS4, Neo Geo, Game Boy, parentheses, color. That's seven. So we have three more slots left. You guys have any out there positions? I mean, I would love. Here's the thing. I would love to advocate for TurboGrafx-16, but how can I?

[01:30:07] TurboGrafx-CD, TurboGrafx-Super-CD-ROM. What the hell do I say? Super graphic. Like, how do I even encompass that? Right. But even if I want to consider them all into one console, which I typically do, like the mini console style, I don't think I'm going to win you guys over. So I'm not even going to try. Andre, I like it, but it's not an old timer. Okay. I mean, it is for me, obviously, but I'm not. I know it's you guys won't go for it. Okay.

[01:30:34] I'm not trying to sell you guys on this because I don't know myself how I feel about it. But if we proposed PC as a system, I guess we're just restricting this to consoles. Here we go. Captain Canada. No, I think it's just top 10 console consoles. Not like. So PC is just not in. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I don't want to get into the like, well, here's the thing. I don't know enough about like a PC 88 or like a MSX or anything even enough to consider that stuff.

[01:31:05] Well, and it's so. Just to say PC in general, it's impossible to like, how do you quantify that? Yeah. I don't, I don't really want to. PC is all the systems. It wins. End of the show. Can we have, can we put games for windows live on our top 10 consoles? Remember that thing at the bar where they headed you a blue thing and you played poker on that? Is that a system? You know what? I'm just putting this out here.

[01:31:34] I think if Andre tried to sell me on Steam Deck, deserving a spot on this list that I would probably buy. Steam Deck is incredible, but obviously it doesn't have a bespoke library unto itself. So it's not really like considered for this, but yeah. I mean, it kind of does. It's, it's got the Steam library. That's not, that's not what we're talking about here. You know that. The thing I'm recording this podcast on has the bespoke Steam library. I can play on it. Yeah.

[01:32:03] It's, but Hey, you know what? I obviously love the Steam Deck. If we were talking just strictly hardware and like the way things feel like, you know, I would love, that could be a fun discussion. Sometimes I would love to, obviously I'd advocate for fatty DS or like, you know, stuff like that. We can't even start talking about that right now. Cause I will fucking derail us arguing with you for the next half an hour. Have you guys heard the good news of the wave bird? Wave bird's all right. That's my hot take. It's okay.

[01:32:33] It's fine. It's fine. Rather use a regular controller. It's fine. I would too. I would rather use a regular one. Okay. So here's the deal. We have three slots left and four things in our maybe pile right now. Still are maybe pile is three 60 cube dreamcast and 2600. So I think what we should do from here is slot three, like three of those. One of them is going to have to be left out. I thought dreamcast got locked in already. No, we didn't do that. Are we going to lock in dreamcast? Cause that's what I want to do.

[01:33:03] Lock in dream. I'm just saying I would lock in game keep before I would lock in dreamcast. Like lock in the two of those. Lock in double, double lock in. Okay. Double lock in. Lock in dreamcast and game cube. Let's go. You hear that sound? Oh, it's fucking two times. Yep. There we go. Super locked in. All right. 360 and 2600. Someone's got to go home. 360 over 2600. Like hands down for me, I would say. But we also need to stop.

[01:33:33] Like, what are we not thinking of? Yeah. Is there anything? I don't want to go too fast here. Like I want to make sure that's why I thought of like turbo graphics, even though you guys aren't going to, going to go for that. I, the FM towns, Marty. Yes. Marty only. If it were just me. And again, this is something I'm not going to convince you guys of. I would have master system on here. I would say turbo graphics before master. So NES just because of like lack of consistency on NES.

[01:34:02] I think your average. Well, here's the thing. I think that, like I said, the heavy hitters on NES are so heavy that master system can't even fuck with it. Right. However, that's what makes it a better console though. But see, but you know, the way I go, it's the same thing I just said about super Nintendo and, and DS, like your average, like master system game. There's just so many quality games on there. I love how we didn't even mention Genesis. We're not even, we're not even considering it.

[01:34:32] I know this is not the show for that. I know what you're saying about like, about like the average quality, but I just, to, to me, this is more of a discussion about like, if you could have one of these things with like whatever games out of the library you want, right. The, the, like NES having like numerous shitty games that I don't want to play doesn't make me want to have the master system more. Right.

[01:34:59] And I think like in all aspects, just, you know, to me, it's like, what, what are the best of the best games and how many of them are there? I guess that's more the way I would look at it. Yeah. For me, I look more of like just general, like library, like all the, like three, seven out of tens are worth more to me than like one, 10 out of 10. I think, whereas you think the other way, which is fine. Like, I don't think there's any right or wrong way to think about that. And I, so, okay.

[01:35:27] Do you, but you don't think like the amount of seven out of tens on E on NES because I, okay. So like, if I don't want to get into a discussion about like, like what is the actual size of the library? And if we're looking at like the fucking, you know, these are averaging like a B plus or whatever you don't, you think that the master system like has like countably more seven out of tens than the NES. Yes. I think so.

[01:35:57] But again, that makes me hesitate because like I said, the old timers on NES, there's just too many for me to like, yeah, see, I'm, I'm like going back on my own argument. Maybe I would say NES over master system. And I think I would say NES over 360 as well. Personally. That's yeah, I know that's man. Although I also would probably bump dreamcast at that point and put NES and 360 on, but I know that's just going to be a fucking non-starter and Andre's going to be like, well, we locked

[01:36:26] it in. No, we locked it in. I, I'm, we're not going back in any of our walk-ins. They're, they're, they're there, but I don't know, man. I, I'm not like super confident saying that I'm not being, you know, I'm sure I could be convinced that NES would be the wrong choice over 360. Do we want to consider we for even a second? I mean, I don't, I wouldn't make mine, but.

[01:36:55] If we're counting that the week and play GameCube games. No, we're not doing that shit. Earlier on, I might have, but we're too deep in the argument. No, we're not. No, we're timing. We're handing the systems library, not its backwards compatibility. Remember we were on a show where someone tried to do that and I yelled at him and he got mad at me. You guys remember that? Yeah. I don't, I don't miss that too much or at all. Really? I can't believe it made the show. He didn't edit anything anyway.

[01:37:22] Um, I, I, um, man, you're kind of getting me, you're kind of getting me like NES pilled right now. Actually. I, I, I'm kind of like, I don't know. No Nintendo 64, by the way. Right. No, no, no. Okay. I didn't, I'm, I want to start talking to you about like adventure islands and like those kinds of things. I think that's where it's going to like get you. Yeah. See, like adventure island. I, I love those.

[01:37:52] All three of them. They have six mega mans. They're great. Most of, most of them anyway. Um, I mean. Your favorite is on there. It is. See, I'm talking myself into it. Shit, man. You might, you might be onto this. I didn't think NES would make this, but I don't know. No man. 360. What a great fucking console, man. Like just the wealth of games on that system. It's almost PS two. Like to me.

[01:38:22] Yeah. Like, I mean, that really was the PS four of that generation. When we think about why we would put PS four on the list. I think the three 60 goes in for the same reasons, but I would say PS two and PS four are better than three 60 is the problem. Would you say that? I would too. Yeah. Okay. Where are you at Steve with like three 60 versus NES? I think it needs to be the NES.

[01:38:52] I hate to be so, such a Nintendo ass show. I know that's what we are, but like. We are a Nintendo ass show, but the NES also existed here for a, well, not just here. It existed everywhere for a decade for a reason. It just persisted in our lives. Three 60 has like, I don't, I mean, again, I don't want to break down every library, but like, man, I don't know. This is really tough for me. Three 60 also had all those muddy Xbox live games.

[01:39:22] They did. Think about you telling, talking about how fucking garbage shit. The three 60 ran at the end of its lifespan when they're trying to put games that probably should not have been on there. Discs or so for Wolfenstein. Man. Man. My heart says NES. Are we really going to have like seven Nintendo consoles on here or something? Like, come on. We were born in the eighties. What do these people expect?

[01:39:50] I know we were born in the eighties, but I can't. There's a reason that we're fucking contemplating putting seven Nintendo consoles on the list. And that's because their first party software is like they are. They are the best software developer in the world, like by a long shot. Yeah, they are. They absolutely are. We all we all believe that. That's the nucleus of this show, you know, so.

[01:40:17] And they've like consistently been that. So that's why every console generation there, like at least in the discussion. Um, what if what? Fine. You know what? I think I think it's just gonna have to be NES. I really don't know what else to do here. Not something I thought I'd be considering today. Do we want to lock it in? Is that our final one? Yes. Yes. I think it feels good. Okay. NES. Let's lock it in. I can't believe it.

[01:40:48] All right. Here's our Super Nintendo ass, Nintendo pill asshole centric list. Here it is. Uh, we have switch SNES PS2 DS PS4 Neo Geo Game Boy slash color. Even though I wrote parentheses GameCube Dreamcast NES. All right. Fuck. We would have been such more cool, hardcore, legitimate gamers. If we had 360 on that list. I know. What are we going to do? We're not, we're not legitimate at all.

[01:41:17] Well, what can we say? Fight us online about it. Even though we're, uh, um, fucking, I don't know. It's locked in. I'm not going to change it now. I feel like something's nagging me. I feel like we're forgetting one thing that I'm going to stop the show. You know, honestly, I'm not even joking. If the virtual boy had like five more good games, I would consider it. I'm not joking. Bound Hopper would have saved the system.

[01:41:47] No, bound high. Dragon Hopper is the other one. All right. Let's get the fuck out of here. But before we do, as I said, I'm going to try this Sprite plus T one more time. Now that's warmed up a bit during the course of this show still smells a little bit like lemon. I'm going to try it now. It's a little bit more warm. I'm going to get anyone else want to have a sip with me. Yeah, sure. Okay. Let's all have a sip. Oh yeah. Oh yeah.

[01:42:16] I like it more now. Absolutely. It's still cold. It was better cold. I like it. It's still cold here, but it's just a little bit less like it's not fridge cold. It's taking that icy chill off. So maybe not room temperature, but maybe if I just take it out of the fridge for an hour, this is perfect. This is really good now. I actually like this. Steve, have you changed? I taste the tea now. You don't sound happy about it. No, I'm not.

[01:42:47] Will you ever like anything that's on Mango Rush? Maybe you should just go back to that. I'm not driving all the way back to Little Caesars for Mango Rush. They deliver. Okay. I guarantee I'm way out of the delivery radius. Okay. All right. Let's get out of here. I'm going to drink the rest of the Sprite Plus Tea and edit this damn show. Thanks for joining us. Check the description of this podcast to find our names on social media, and we'll see you next time. Bye. We'll catch you next time. Bye.